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Old 05-28-2010, 04:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Is it okay to ask a girl out over face book (if you have met in real life)

Met a girl in real life at this club after classes (In college if thats important) met this girl probably the cutest girl Ive seen since I started school and I really want to go out with her. Introduced myself and talked a bit, was afraid of looking too desperate so after a while I sad I got to go and ran away like a little bitch.

Second meeting I talked some more with her, sat next to her, nothing really got too deep just joked around and what not, asked her if she had face book and got to be her friend on facebook. checked her out and she was single

This is about 2 weeks before winter break, winter break happens and everyone's classes switch, I saw her in the cafeteria in line at Wendy's asked if she was going to be at the meeting and she says she started taking a night course and couldn't go to the club.

Her status changed to in a relationship so I though eh fuck it there goes that. still was cordial and waved to her and stuff.

then her status went single and then a few weeks later I figured why the hell not, and I asked her out over face book, I really really wanted to try it in person like an adult but I couldn't find her and I figured what the hell do I have to lose.

I ask her out and she said that she would like too but lives off campus and doesn't have a car so has to get drove by her mom or sister. I would have offered to drive her but I was so afraid of sounding desperate beacuse I know that if I'm desperate thats the end of that.

So its been a while shes still single (according to face book atleast), haven't really talked to her that much so I was wondering what I could message her to try and re break the ice beacuse if the new semester starts and she doesn't have night classes, and shes local so shes here for the summer. I was wondering how to start talking with her some more like...

"hey its been a while, how you doing?"

I don't know, I'm clueless on this stuff and If I ask her out again I will put "Ill Drive" in the offer so I wont have to bargain with her like a desperate salesmen

sorry for the long post, but I'm just the kind of person who thinks details can help decision making.
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Old 05-28-2010, 04:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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ABSOLUTELY NOT

If a girl wants to go out with you she wouldn't make excuses... she knew you could come pick her up, she just doesn't like you. She's a goner because she already sees you as some creepy facebook stalking kid she talked to twice so let it go, and in the future nut up and actually call the lady. If a woman wants to see you she will make it happen, if she gives you some bullshit excuse (read: i have laundry to do, i might get lost on the way to the airport, there is no possible means of transportation that could make this happen) then move on and forget her.

picture related, it's you interacting with females in a social setting

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Old 05-28-2010, 05:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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She said she doesn't have a car and you didn't offer to come get her??? Boo. Picking a girl up is not desperate, it's normal. I don't drive on dates unless it's absolutely necessary. She probably thinks you're a flake or not that serious about the whole thing. It's OK to message her, but act interested this time. She doesn't think you are. All you've given her is facebook. Man up! Good luck!

EDIT: Rabmizzle is speaking from the guy's perspective. I don't know where you live, but if you live in a "car culture" like I do, there's no way a girl would take a bus or get a ride from her mom or sister for a first date when you could've picked her up. You snubbed her. Fix it if you like her.
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Last edited by punk'n; 05-28-2010 at 05:57 PM. Reason: read above post
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Old 05-28-2010, 06:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah, after getting to meet her a couple times, then asking her out over Facebook because you weren't likely to see her again. That wasn't weird.

The weird was the driving thing. I've never not offered to drive. That was weird.

Hit the reset button. Offer to TAKE her out on a date.
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Old 05-28-2010, 08:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Looking back, yes I do wish I offered to drive her, but It was just out to coffee, i was so scarred of it sounding like

"I WILL DRIVE YOU, Please please, i will do anything, please just agree to spend 20 minutes with me OMG"
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Old 05-28-2010, 08:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertg88 View Post
Looking back, yes I do wish I offered to drive her, but It was just out to coffee, i was so scarred of it sounding like

"I WILL DRIVE YOU, Please please, i will do anything, please just agree to spend 20 minutes with me OMG"
It won't sound that way to her. Offer to take her out again.
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Old 05-28-2010, 08:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by RoundAbout View Post
It won't sound that way to her. Offer to take her out again.
Agreed. In the words of Keith (sort of) "I'm TELLING you the answers!! I'm telling you from the (girl's) point of view and you think I'm wrong, but I'm TELLING you!!!!" Hehehehehhehe.
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Old 05-29-2010, 07:51 PM   #8 (permalink)
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perfectly normal. Weird only if you ask someone out via Facebook but had NOT met ....... Facebook is a great comms tool for today, but establishing *personal* relationships over the net is asking for hassle. Statistically you'll always get to hear of success stories (1 in 1000?), but generally I would go for the normal human methods of hooking up; think evolution, think instinct, think reality .......

says me ....... I am the new Freud ...... twice
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