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Old 03-28-2011, 12:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Smile Rate my joke (1-10)

Peter and Jesus were at Long John Silvers one morning when there was hardly anyone there. Jesus gets up to use the bathroom. A lady walks in wearing pants. Peter, who's not use to this, gets up from his table and starts berating her for wearing pants. Jesus hears the ruckus, walks up to Peter and tells him to leave her alone because her heart is pure. Shortly after this a woman walks in wearing a much more revealing outfit. Peter shoots Jesus a look like, How about her? "Yeah she's going to Hell."

Sorry so long wanted to get whole scene in.

Last edited by WSEIII; 03-28-2011 at 12:39 AM. Reason: punctuation
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Old 03-28-2011, 01:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't get it.

So it's either I'm incredibly stupid, or it's the worst joke ever.

Probably both.
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm confused.

Peter wants to berate women?

Jesus needs to use the bathroom?

So many holes.
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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You're a racist.
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I get what your going for, Ive seen protesters yelling at women for wearing pants. The important thing to remember is that you are TELLING a joke, not WRITING a story. Jokes should usually be quick and punchy.

Here are some of my modifications

Jesus and Peter where in a waffle house at 2 am one night (the Waffle house is naturally funny, its the K-sound of eateries) when a woman wearing jeans walks in. (skip all the description and Jesus going to the bathroom, not needed) Peter walks up to her and starts to tell her how women shouldn't wear pants and how she is a whore who will burn in the eternal fires of hell. Jesus, being the kind and benevolent demi-god he is, calls back peter and assures him there is nothing wrong with a woman wearing pants. A few minutes later a woman in fishnet stockings and a cutoff walks in, peter looks at Jesus and Jesus just shrugs, yeah okay, shes going to hell.

I still dont think its that funny, but there is something there, I think.
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Tell me a Waffle House joke, funny guy.
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Old 03-28-2011, 05:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
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How about this:

Peter and Jesus are smoking outside the pearly gates. A prostitute in fishnet stockings and high heels who was recently killed by her pimp walks up. Peter says "you lived a life of sin and promiscuity, you're not getting in here" and as he's about to cast her to hell, Jesus interrupts: "I see your heart is pure and you were driven to sin by circumstance, we shan't be too quick to judge. You may enter." A little later on, a woman wearing pants approaches and says "I've lead a good life, came to church every Sunday, and always gave money to charity". Peter says "sorry sister, no dykes allowed." Jesus laughs as he throws his cigarette into the hellpit, and they go off to have lunch.

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Old 03-28-2011, 05:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Toot. Unable. To. Comprehend. Toot.
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Old 03-28-2011, 07:01 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I think this might be slightly funnier, but it's late and I'm not putting too much thought into it:

Jesus and Peter are grabbing a bite to eat at Long John Silvers. As they're eating their food a woman walks in wearing pants. Unaccustomed to seeing this, Peter starts going nuts on her, berating her just for wearing pants. Jesus stops Peter, and says "Calm down, her heart is pure."

They continue eating when another woman walks in wearing some tight jeans, with an amazing ass. Sure that he'd be right about this one, Peter taps Jesus on the shoulder and asks "What about this one?"

to which Jesus turns around and says, "DAAAAYUUUUUUUMMM-ed"

eh? no? maybe? KAHMEDY!
-If this doesn't work, sorry bud, you gave me a shitty joke to work with.
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Old 03-28-2011, 08:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I like Dude's and D's versions
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