The Resident Massage Therapist

[angelwithagun]

I would like to officially volunteer to be KATG's resident massage therapist. Though I don't do it as much anymore, I am a certified massage therapist. I have worked in high end day spas and run my own business as a massage therapist. I have lots of fun stories to tell and all that good stuff.

First things first! Chemda, when you want the massage therapist to work your "booty" you should say "I would like my glutes worked on." You can either do this before or during the massage.

And to further prove my worthiness as resident certified, non skeezy massage therapist, I'll tell a story. First you should know that I always greet clients at the front of the day spa with my wedding ring on. I do not take it off until after I have done the initial review of the clients medical history and talked to them about their medical reasons for seeking massage therapy.

A "good friend" of the spa owner's came in to get a massage. It was his first massage. Keep in mind that this is a high end day spa where the typical day includes a mani, pedi, facial and or mud wrap, massage, lunch, hair and makeup, etc. At our day spa we used robes rather than towels. If you were just getting a massage you would just take off your clothes and get under the top sheet. Underwear is optional of course.

The guy moans quietly during the whole massage. This is pretty normal and I didn't think much of it. Some people just get so relaxed they don't realize they're doing it or they just don't care. When I went to work on his shoulders I had him roll over so that he was laying on his back. I knew he was sporting a tent but that's not a big deal. I finished with his shoulders and moved to work on his arm. I was holding his arm stretched out and working on the inner forearm muscles when he rolled his hand over and began to massage MY arm!

I took this opportunity to hit the pressure points in his wrist to make his wrist go numb and fall limp. His penis soon followed suit. I got a big please-don't-tell tip and he never came back.

...

Since I'm on it, one more.

When I had first gotten out of school and was working at a smaller place in the Poconos an old military geezer came in for a massage.

He kept trying to take the top sheet off but I had requested he keep his underwear on because I knew he would be a pain in the ass the minute he walked in the door.

I finally let him take the top sheet off when he complained about it being hot (it wasn't) and then he kept insisting that he needed to take his underwear off. We went through this every few minutes for the entire hour.

Again, please-don't-tell tip. This time in the amount of $70, more than the massage itself cost.

[jsavimbi]

No happy ending?

Don't think you'll last that long as resident of anything, IMHO.

[angelwithagun]

Only happy ending I've ever given was to my now husband.

Interesting fact: massage tables, even the super quality ones, are not great for fucking on. Just FYI.