Shit you can't write elsewhere, write it here

[Space Indaver]

In a similar vein to the Fuck You thread I suppose, but with a rainbow of sentiment.

Today's would-be Facebook status: Dave doesn't give a fuck how insecure and shy you are, you're an adult, and going round to someone's house to have a couple of drinks and watch a film is NOT a big deal. Or rather, in short: Dave is already planning his next date with someone else.

I'll leave it to the less jaded members of our esteemed community to come up with the more positive posts.

[missmilf25]

i had started a "random thoughts" thread, but it got either 'eated' or deleted

anyway, i find it interesting how people always wanna offer unsolicited advice but can't get their own shit together.

guess i'm not of the 'less jaded' variety. sorry

*shrug*

[Banoobie]

Wow knowing the audience as i think i do this could get pessimistic as fuck. So to kick that off...

Am i still in love?? probbably.... But not with you. The fucking 1 person i never thought i would need so bad... Fuck theres no way i wouldnt ruin everything in your life if i were as selfish as i want to be....

sadface to everything man.

[bankyanks]

Facebook would be quote (but can't because I'll get in trouble)

I don't like it when you dance like a slut when you are with me. You look like a slut and guys think your a slut - that is the only reason they hit on you! UGH! Also. Stop grinding on me and using me as your stipper pole. I don't like it. That's why I move away - it's not coz I'm drunk!

End Rant.

[DWarrior]

fuckidy fuck fuck shit fuck fuck fuck fuck cunt shit fuck fuck fuck shit cunt fuck fuck fuck shunt fuck fuck fuck shuck fuck fuck fucking fuck fuckers fuckee fuckable fuck fuckuous fuck fuck.

[stabbyhappy]

You know that big round ball you sit on at work because its so much better for your "back" than a chair? We know you bought it so you can grind and bounce your nasty vagina on it. Its blatantly obvious. We work in health care for the love of God if we didnt understand how vaginas work wed be fired. And no your not cute enough to get away with masturbating at work any more than I am.

[missmilf25]

one day, i'm gonna ride on the back of a unicorn that farts cotton candy and when we hurdle over a rainbow it'll turn into skittles and all of my bff's will hold hands and sing "we are the world" and every time they say the word 'are' their favorite flavor of skittles will land perfectly in their mouths and when they go to the bathroom skittle-colored butterflies will fly out of their bungholes instead of poop and those butterflies will spread fairy dust every time they flap their wings and all of you will get to make a wish and it will totally come true.

[Bebe]

Oooh I think of FB statuses all the time that I can't say because my family and workmates are all watching...great idea for a thread!

Today it would be:

Bebe thinks STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY ABOUT EARTHQUAKES AND HARDEN THE FUCK UP.

My workmate freaks out every time we have an aftershock. We've had 700 in two weeks, most people have learned to live with them by now.

[amyuilani]

Your kids are butt ugly. Stop posting pictures all the damn time.

[iheartnihilism]

1)To everyone on the internet: I really wish you'd stop filling up my feeds with "9/11 never forget" bullshit every year. Yeah it was a bad thing. I still remember everything about that morning. Who cares? Stfu about already.
2) To you: All you really have to do is make the first move.