Keith and The Girl is a free comedy talk show and podcast
Check out the recent shows
Click here to get Keith and The Girl free on iTunes.
Click here to get the podcast RSS feed. Click here to watch all the videos on our YouTube channel. |
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#431 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 256
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I'm sorry that your girlfriend is such a controlling, untrustworthy, hypocritical BITCH. Stop whining to me about it and walk away, you don't even live in the same state anymore for fuck sakes!
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#432 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florence, TX
Posts: 166
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I have grown weary of what I do for a paycheck. It used to be a profession, and I was excited to get there every day. Now, I have to drag my ass to my truck before 5 a.m. so that I can loathe those around me until quitting time. I go to the tattoo shop and hang out with the Martians there to feel fucking normal while I have a tattoo needle grind away my fucking skin yet again. Then I go home and drink until I'm dizzy. Repeat endlessly. Sometimes I break it up with a bit of jerking off. I hit on the crazy chicks, and then take a secret joy in turning them down when they're down to fuck. I don't need some crazy mental patient throwing molotov bombs through my windows or slashing my tires at the gas station. I stare at the asses of the hot chicks at work, shamelessly. My "fuck you" filter has been broke for a long time. I secretly go through a series of lethal hand2hand takedowns/disarming techniques because I REALLY want to fucking break an arm, crush a throat and gouge out someone's eyeballs in the worst way. I'm not a violent drunk.... I just go to sleep. Somehow, the violent sequences bring on a kind of tranquility after the adrenaline buzz goes away. I speculate that certain personalities are very disgusting to me in a deeply personal way. Being around them is such a drain on my psyche and soul. I hope for a painful terminal illness to afflict all of them......soon.
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I propose a toast to this epoch of indifference |
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#433 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,949
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You unfriend me, unfollow me, and send me an email about how you hate me, then expect me to talk to you like nothing happened? We're not friends anymore, that was your choice. Stop torturing me by doing this hot and cold shit, and stick to something. Just because we fucked and you said I love you doesn't mean we need to be friends afterwards, as we clearly do not get along.
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#434 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Califuckyourfacia
Posts: 146
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I really do not want to live with these people anymore. I love them dearly, but I do not want them here. How much gd water must you use to wash dishes? How many times do I have to tell you to close a cabinet, or TURN OFF A LIGHT? I'm not yo mama. And getting hella attitude when I smoke inside is ridiculous to me. I've lived here for over a year... This is MY apartment. Just because I asked you not to smoke weed in the apt. when my son is home doesn't mean you have to be a dick about me having a cigarette in the morning, WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP. If you don't want my cats in your room, DON'T LET THEM IN. I'm fuckin tired of hearing you gripe about it when you do NOTHING TO STOP IT. My open door does not mean it's open door policy. Do not GO IN MY ROOM AND USE MY THINGS WHILE I'M NOT HERE. I asked you to not leave my laptops plugged in all the time, which is why I don't want you using them, but you won't heed my wishes, so now they're getting locked up during the day. When you used 5 cups a day and didn't ever do your dishes, I put all of MY dishes away, hoping that less of them in the kitchen would mean less of a mess. HOW THE BLOODY FUCK DO YOU THINK IT'S OK TO GO AND GET THEM BACK OUT?? Bottom line: leave my shit alone, and learn how to be adults and stop wasting utilities. Uuuugh.
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Keith and The Girl is a free comedy talk show and podcast
Check out the recent shows
Click here to get Keith and The Girl free on iTunes.
Click here to get the podcast RSS feed. Click here to watch all the videos on our YouTube channel. |
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#435 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 660
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I probably shouldn't but I'm starting to regret breaking up with my last gf
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#436 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: London UK (with Big Ben!),
Posts: 1,084
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Ah fuck, just realized I didn't try hard enough and I'm not nearly smart enough to do this...
But you hedged your bets on this for your entire future, so there's no going back now. Prepare to be a royal fuck up. |
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#439 (permalink) |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,868
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Dear stranger, I can say this anywhere I want it's just that I am sure no one cares about my opinion but I feel as though I MUST speak the truth,
I understand that seeing your "look" out of context is part of the problem but DUDE....you are trying so hard you look desperate. Either the tweed Fedora or 70ties sunglasses...either the black skinny jeans OR the cool worked in 80ties Ramones shirt....either the lambchop sideburns Or the pissed off youth grimace...but when you throw this all together while standing in the middle of nowheretown suburbia you look like an EPIC douche...holy shit. But seriously, even standing up in the middle of some downtown night club jamming with the hottest band in town you'd still look silly.... |
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