Women Are Cheap

[Space Indaver]

If I say to a girl let's go to watch a film, for example, it isn't necessarily a "date" as such, but from my perspective I'd be interested if it did become datey. Either way I'm happy. Regardless, since I'm the one who asked, it would seem a bit awkward if I walked up to the cashier, paid for myself, then turned and smiled and waited for her to pay for herself. Not out of any "you're the man, you pay" notion, but mainly because going to see the film was my idea.

All well and good, that's fair you'd say. However, that would never happen with two men. They'd just pay for themselves and not even think about it. I think the fact that a guy and girl are in the "getting to know you" stage where it's a bit more of a big deal to say let's hang out comes into it as well, which again it doesn't with two men and I assume two women.

[Medium Brumski]

Originally Posted by picard102

It's being chastised for being nice. Unnecessary and rude. If someone let's you merge into their lane you don't flip them the bird.

That said, the idea that someone would define themselves as being manly through opening doors, and other hold overs from the 60's, is laughable.

Do we have more modern examples of being manly?

Alot of guys like to be a provider and protector, I guess it's an ancestral thing, and since I can't very easily bring down a wooly mammoth and saber-tooth tiger to drag back to the cave to feed the tribe we've created new scenarios that help us feel like a capable human being.

[campy]

In my experience...

Money can be a taboo in the dating dance. As a person you have to formulate your own rules and go with it. In my dating experience I always went dutch on the first date. I always graciously accepted a first drink. I would never buy dinner on a first date, I would usually offer to buy a drink after the first one was bought for me but never buy the first one for him...here's why,

I never wanted to feel obligated so I thought if I went dutch the ground rules were established right off the bat. I never bought dinner or drinks first because in my experience that is kind of emasculating and implies he can't afford it. I always took a first drink because it is a nice gesture and offered one back for the same reason.

Once I understood where things were going it was a 50/50 endeavor.

[Space Indaver]

I honestly would be happy to pay for things more than 50% of the time, but the prospect of taking a girl out on a "real" date with my current income makes me sweat a bit. Just something little like a movie and a bit of food would be most of my fun money gone for that month.

"I can't afford to go out with girls" shouldn't even exist as a sentence.

[picard102]

Originally Posted by Medium Brumski

I guess it's an ancestral thing

I think it's more of an insecurity thing. If a man isn't chivalrous he's not manly? That's redonkulous. Opening doors and walking near the road isn't akin to taking down a mammoth.

[campy]

Originally Posted by Space Indaver

I honestly would be happy to pay for things more than 50% of the time, but the prospect of taking a girl out on a "real" date with my current income makes me sweat a bit. Just something little like a movie and a bit of food would be most of my fun money gone for that month.

"I can't afford to go out with girls" shouldn't even exist as a sentence.

If she doesn't understand the word "budget" she's not worth it.

My first BF and I had no $$ so we'd go dutch all the time and do things that were cheap like head to the water front with a king can hahaha

good times!

[Space Indaver]

You keep saying go dutch, and I have no idea what it means.

Edit: I have now googled and am smarter.

I'm going to town in about an hour to meet a girl, maybe I should suggest going dutch. It sounds exciting and continental, she might just fall for it.

[campy]

A term all young lovers should embrace!

Although it implies it is actually the Dutch who are cheap and not women!

[Medium Brumski]

Originally Posted by picard102

I think it's more of an insecurity thing. If a man isn't chivalrous he's not manly? That's redonkulous. Opening doors and walking near the road isn't akin to taking down a mammoth.

Maybe we're getting caught on semantics, or maybe I'm just thinking from an American Midwest/Southern/Traditional mentality.

Is being manly the same as being a man?

A chivalrous action isn't something I would expect from a manly guy, necessarily, but it is something I would expect from a nice man.

The insecurity comment I really don't get. I like to take care of my girl, that makes me insecure?

[marina]

Originally Posted by picard102

It's being chastised for being nice. Unnecessary and rude. If someone let's you merge into their lane you don't flip them the bird.

And here's my thing, any nice person would let another person merge into their lane, but a nice man isn't going to hold the door for another man. Door holding and other chivalrous actions only apply to women, which is the root of my issue.

I don't object to a person holding the door for another person, but I do object to holder having to be a man and the holdee having to be a woman.