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Old 09-03-2010, 10:47 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by marina View Post
Men do get really annoyed at the door thing. I don't understand it. Why would you think she's a bitch?



I don't think Bebe is suggesting that women who can't to pluming and bug removal are children, just that she does the things that she can do as part of being an equal partner in a household, and that she takes pride in being an asset to her household, like we all do-unless we're children, or jerks, or retarded.

I think that there's a lot of disdain between women who subscribe to rigid gender roles and those that don't, and within those subsections, there's still disdain between women based on which gender roles to abandon and which to keep. And with everybody feeling like everybody else is judging them and suggesting that their way is the best one, tensions can run high if you're not the same kind of female as everyone else involved.
What she said

One of the big problems with my previous marriage was that my ex liked to 'take care of me' which means he liked that I didn't drive, didn't work or have my own money, didn't know about finances or fixing stuff. Once I grew up enough to realize this I left, and learned all this stuff. So now I feel like I'm not a child or a retard anymore
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:53 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Bebe View Post
One of the big problems with my previous marriage was that my ex liked to 'take care of me' which means he liked that I didn't drive, didn't work or have my own money, didn't know about finances or fixing stuff. Once I grew up enough to realize this I left, and learned all this stuff. So now I feel like I'm not a child or a retard anymore
amen sister! my ex was the same way. the best thing in my life that I could have done was leave him and i, too, no longer feel like a child or retard either
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:56 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Bebe View Post
What she said

One of the big problems with my previous marriage was that my ex liked to 'take care of me' which means he liked that I didn't drive, didn't work or have my own money, didn't know about finances or fixing stuff. Once I grew up enough to realize this I left, and learned all this stuff. So now I feel like I'm not a child or a retard anymore
Thank god you got out of that relationship! You sound much happier. Control over your own life is important, and independence is a great way to manifest that control.
Thankfully I am not in a trapped scenario. We have a good balanced partnership.
The reason that I responded as I did is that this is a topic I think about. In my profession there are relatively few women and we are not treated as well as our male counterparts. For this to change women need to work together, but very often competative, catty bullshit gets in the way.
Like I said before, things can be complicated enough with guys, I hate when girls start criticizing one another unnecessarily.
But then, we don't know eachother so there's that!
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Old 09-04-2010, 12:13 AM   #74 (permalink)
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Agreed Natrasha. I used to teach this subject at university, while being paid less than my male colleagues

To be fair to my ex, I got married at 18 so I was literally a child really ... although he was 33 and probably should have known better. And this is the father of my beloved Meagle, so I could never regret the relationship. We still see each other all the time, he's living with my son and his family.
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Old 09-05-2010, 02:11 AM   #75 (permalink)
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I just make sure all the money's on the nightstand before the date starts.
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Old 09-10-2010, 08:44 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by campy View Post
This doesn't apply where I live, everyone holds the door for everyone else...maybe it's a Canadian thing.....
I'm a female and I hold doors open for everyone. Also, I was raised by Canadians. So I think you have a point.
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Old 09-10-2010, 08:51 PM   #77 (permalink)
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I don't understand letting women walk first into places, clearly the more chivalrous act would be for the man to walk in first, make sure it's safe, and then hold the door open for the lady. For example, if there is a ninja ambush, why would you want her to be the target?
but if you're walking in front of me then you're ruining my entrance!!
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Old 09-11-2010, 06:38 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DWarrior View Post
Depends. I usually hold doors for people, but I'll sort of "hand them off" as I walk in, unless the angle is such that it's just easier to let them in. Everyone else does the same thing (in NJ), regardless of gender.

But for women I'd be more inclined to actually let them through first and then walk in myself (but I'm not going to stand there for over 10 seconds waiting for them to walk up and through, unless I know them).
I do about the same thing, I'd say at least 50% of the people at school are polite enough to do so as well.
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