79: No Slaps in America
 

It’s ya boy Newsy! Boy oh boy, there’s drama everywhere this week! Not just in Hollyweird but in my life too! We also get jiggy with Whole Foods, airplane behavior, chatroom behavior, apologies, Passover, the lottery, tardiness, and so much more!

Episodes discussed:
249: Talk of the Town w/ Patrice
928: How to Be Friends w/ Matt B, Adam Brown, and Emmy
1153: Moody w/ Moody McCarthy
1363: Dear Diary w/ Hennessy
1565: A Dollar and a Dream w/ Brother Love
2355: Bar None w/ Jordan Carlos and Sean Patton
2601: Junk in the Trunk w/ Neal Stastny

Guest:
Newsy
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Newsy is Chris Rock right now. The landlord just slapped him, stole his 1200 dollars and told him you're welcome.

I think your only recourse now is to fuck him.

You wanted excitement well ya got it

But really, fight that shit dude, did he really say the deposit was non refundable before you saw the contract?

My armchair lawyer ideas
 

This landlord is a dickhead. He's totally taking advantage of people and Chemda's totally right that he's making you feel shitty on purpose. Instead of college kids, my guess is he preys on people with less than stellar rental records because they're more likely to capitulate. That's why you gotta fight this fuckface. Here are my (not expert) legal ideas:

1. Your State's Legal Aid. They have a lot of experience dealing with dirt bag landlords. I called them once and found out that the guy who was trying to evict me illegally was renting the house and subletting to me. You have to meet low income requirements for this.

2. I wonder if good faith assumptions in contacts fit here. By the guy basically extorting your $1200 to get you to sign the lease shows he's not acting in good faith. By no stating upfront that there's no way the contract is up for negotiation seems like bad dealing. And since you exercised good faith by reviewing the contract before signing it, penalizing you by not returning a deposit from before you actually signed the contract (instead of with it) is just ick. (A legal term.)

3. Signing your rights away as a term of the contract seems to have to be something due to the relationship you're getting into. But look at other stuff too. Sounds like he makes tenants pay for all damages regardless if they are at fault. That could possibly void the contract.

4. I think he has to have a good reason to not give you back the deposit and I doubt he has one. I doubt he can legitimately claim that the regular cost of business entering into the contract would equal the amount he took.

5. Annotate everything that seems off in the lease and email it to the news. A little public shaming is in order. Let them know about how he's trying to take advantage of you. Remember he's hoping you feel shitty and shitty people don't want other people to know so let everybody know! (You have to frame this in a way where it is interesting to whatever outlet could pick it up and the framing they would like.)

Good luck. I've learned that most things can be changed even when people say they can. You just have realize you didn't do anything wrong and you respect yourself enough to not be taken advantage of.

Oh the sentences!
 

My mom made us write sentences too when we "misbehaved." Mine were usually something like "I will use my manners" because i burped at dinner or put my elbows on the table. I don't remember the most I've had to do, but definitely had to do 1600 of that manners sentence.

I'm currently in the process of renting out an apartment for my aunt in Poland.

1. Wanna relocate?

2. How nice am I. I dont do tricks like that. People are offering me money to get it and I always say no thanks just show up on Saturday and behave.

Renting out an apartment in another country where you have different social norms+ other laws and also many Ukraine people with their own norms and issues has comedic Vallue for sure.

Keith’s Bible hour was very funny, I laughed really out loud.

Vezione has great insight here.

I'm no authority, but I did deal with a landlord to wrote a bogus contract in NYS a number of years ago. Some illegal items can void a contract. Newsy might be screwed out of the deposit, but there could be a way to report this dude for predatory practices. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to waive basic tenants rights, at least certain ones (per: https://caretaker.com/learn/lease-ag...al-lease-terms). A landlord cannot just fully declare themselves exempt from laws that are in place of a reason via a contract.

Don't listen to that negativity. Get the money back.

Venmo's purchase protection does not cover "Real estate, including residential property"


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