Quote:
Originally Posted by aunt_helen
One of the hardest things to learn is to self-validate. As humans, we will always be seeking out others' approval, which isn't a bad thing - we need outside approval in order to incorporate into society. But while you're interacting with others, you need to learn a sense of self-possession and polite confidence. Patience, good humor and observative habits will serve you well. Watch people you admire and try to emulate them. Play a character until it feels more natural. Be that smooth operator you'd like to be, fake it till you make it, etc etc. Seriously. No one is born knowing this shit. Just be brave and try to pick up some moves along the way.
|
this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by trippy503
my biggest issue as of late is that I have difficulty talking with people I dont know one on one. I can do it if I have friends with me or if someone does enough talking that I can play off of it. But I don't know what to say when its just me and a another person and there not making any effort to start the conversation. anyone have any advice for me on this one?
|
I had this problem with a co-worker. Not a romantic situation at all, but she never wanted to talk to me and we'd end up alone in the lunch room together sometimes, and on top of not talking to me, she didn't seem to like me much as a person. I just started asking questions, like "how was your weekend?? "where did you get that great ring?" "watching any good TV lately?" And then leading questions off of whatever she told me until I realized that we landed on a subject that she liked to talk about. Then it's just a matter of asking small questions like "what kind of dog is he?" "what color did you paint it?" "So you say that the host is the boss of cakes?"
Maybe it's not a love connection if you have to do that teeth-pulling operation, but at least you learn something new about a person and you're not bored out of your skull anymore.