Not saying that calling the police is the wrong thing to do, but it is complex due to many places "automatic arrest" (including NYC). If the police come for a domestic abuse (which doesn't even have to be physical) someone is being arrested, in most cases regardless of if one of the parties wants to press them or have anyone arrested at all. This was put into place for a very good reason, people being abused don't always want to press charges, or change their mind the next day. So the state has stepped in and said they will always make an arrest, the person being abused doesn't have the option to say no. This does create a situation sometimes where the seriousness of arrest may not be warranted, but the law (in NY anyway) reads
" a police officer is required to arrest a person, and must not attempt to reconcile the parties or mediate where the officer
has reasonable cause to believe..."
(goes on to list offenses, one of which is "disorderly conduct" which is the "catch all" to me, and others such as menacing etc.)
So the police officer must arrest someone if they "reasonably believe" they are committing disorderly conduct, or some other more minor offenses, and of course also more serious ones such as assault etc.
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