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Old 08-14-2018, 10:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
thirteen
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada
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Geez, this episode. I was in shock as Mara started telling her story. I felt unsettled and a little anxious throughout. It was really interesting, of course, but hard to listen to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apia View Post
She is very sweet and does good work, but I think she is better as a friend than as a girlfriend.
Waking your partner up at 3 am to talk about problems? No thank you. Sounds like torture.
I think there's more to it. Some people don't like to talk about issues right after an argument and tell their partner they want to discuss it later on. Perhaps they need to go to work, it's late, or they just feel like discussing it the next day when they are more clear-headed. Some people say this truthfully. Others are trying to avoid everything so they pretend you'll discuss it later, but it never happens. Little things start to add up.

Some people like to deal with issues immediately, otherwise they can't sleep out of worry. Worried about the fight they just had, whether or not their relationship is OK, worried about what their partner thinks of them. Their mind is racing and they're not able to think about activities (reading, watching a show, listening to some music, smoking weed, whatever) that could help them calm down before sleeping. The only thing that will ease their mind is to talk about whatever is bothering them. If you can find someone who matches your way of dealing with issues, you've lucked out. Or if you haven't found that person, hopefully you can learn about different ways of dealing with and resolving issues.

Of course 3 am is in the middle of the night (if you have a regular lifestyle) and not everyone would be willing to deal with it. I don't blame her for having anxiety though. Oof, those relationship and family stories.
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