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Old 08-25-2021, 12:58 PM   #30 (permalink)
bluenova
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 126
This is such a tough situation Chemda. Only because I haven't seen it suggested yet, maybe this is something to consider. In my brain, I imagine saying something like "Oh, I was just thinking about you recently because I was talking about how some sexual experiences we experience as children and are confusing at the time will suddenly click once we've grown so much as adults. Like when you babysat me."

Something like that. My brain can't think of a good third line that's a question. Like: "I was wondering if you also went through the same process" but I'm not sure if that's good.

The attempt is to not explicitly say what he did, imply you know something was done, but worded in such a way that he might think he's safe. He might have a brain like Keith's Dad. He could have done it and isn't 100% sweating because they are so confident and self deluding. Pretending things never happened and moving on without consequences is a reality for a lot of people. He could have also just scrubbed it from his brain to protect his ego. If he doesn't respond at all, you know he knows. If he does though, it could be in a way that is helpful or hurtful though. He could reveal he knows, or play stupid. It might hurt you more, which is why I hesitate.

At the same time, maybe you'd feel better if you had a way to say it that works for you even if he just denies it and attacks you. You are harboring this self doubt even though you also know it most likely happened. This was someone that babysat you just a handful of time, yet you really remember him, and you were a child that wouldn't know to have these thoughts. But that doubt persists, so maybe wording it in a manner like this could help ease that self doubting part because it's saying everything without saying anything much.
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