2181: Make-A-Wish

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by DWarrior

So you talked a lot about you and Bear, what about the other people? What happens to the dude you're in bed with when you take the call, or Bear's chicks?

i excuse myself and take the call. it's never been weird. i like to fuck cool people who get how to have low key, casual adult sex.

i only know about the one girl and she's around, but they don't regularly communicate. then again, i don't keep tabs on who he's talking to. none my biz. if my needs are being met, he can meet all his own that he wants and vice versa. he's proven to be very respectful, so i don't worry about it.

i have more lovers to his hookups, i guess, and the bulk majority of those existed before he came around, so they've always been a part of me and being with me. Bear was really there for me when things ended with Brenkin. he's really the most chill human being in the world to my firestorm thunder tornado.

[Nettie-poo]

Off topic now, but as promised earlier...

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[Sparrow]

tits are never off topic.

[myq]

hey everyone, thanks for listening

Originally Posted by FingerLakes

Myq's form of open relationship sounds so fucking broken and like something I don't want any part of.

well, you're not invited so everyone wins.

"When she tells me she's going dancing that means maybe she's just dancing maybe she's fucking somebody" what the hell kind of trust is that?

it means she's a grown woman, her own individual, and she does what she wants, and i want her to do what she wants. she can tell me or not tell me anything. we trust each other to be safe and caring and thoughtful, and that's what we strive to do.

That would make me paranoid as hell.

well then, you're doing what you think is the right thing for yourself, the same way i'm doing what i think is the right thing for myself. one difference between us is i'm not telling you that your way is wrong for you. (though you definitely sound angrier than i like being. but if you enjoy it, enjoy it!)

I need to puke and lose my mind to truly understand myself and the world. Wanting to do this or any other hallucinogen just to get fucked up and enjoy the experience (outside the puke) I understand. Just go to the fucking therapist or talk to someone if you want to figure yourself out

thanks, therapist!
i don't "need" ayahuasca. i like it. it doesn't make me lose my mind. it makes me gain a lot of things. it's not a substitute for self-reflection, of course, but it is something that lots of people have been using as a tool for thousands of years, so whether you understand it or not, it's happening. i don't really understand your hostility. i'm not saying you or anyone has to do it. i'm just saying it's a thing i like, and i recommend that anyone who's interested could look into it if they want to. i love you.

Originally Posted by Eric M

This whole post seems excessively hateful. I truly don't understand how you could listen to Myq in this show and form such weird judgements.

thanks! this whole post seems just the right amount of loving. i love you.

Originally Posted by DWarrior

What do poly people do around birthdays and holidays? Also how do you plan weekends and vacations?
Those were my problems dating even 2 people. We couldn't really develop the emotional intimacy of a relationship because our time together would be interrupted, and it felt weird keeping up with texts from one person while spending the weekend with another person, so in the end we'd just drift apart.

so, it seems like that structure is not for you. that's fine!

You can say it's because we're not as emotionally mature as poly people, but coincidentally Keith, Chemda, Christian, and Mike Lawrence are all in seemingly successful long term relationships now and none of the poly people on the show are. In fact, it doesn't seem like they even understand the meaning of emotional intimacy.

how long do i have to be in my relationship before you'll consider it a successful long term one? it's been over a year and we're moving in together. i'll keep you posted! also i know several people who have been in 10+ year open relationships. one of them has been on chemda's show at least, erin judge. she's great and her open marriage is going strong. of course there are more examples of successful monogamous relationships. there are way more monogamous relationships. there are also way more UNsuccessful monogamous relationships.

also, did anyone say monogamous people are emotionally immature? (if so, i missed it.) on the show, i said it seems like christian really wants the exact relationship he has with his wife, and that's great. people should think about what they want, communicate with the people they want it with, and strive to live that way.

every relationship has its own logistical issues, and even monogamous people have to contend with "when do we visit your parents, or mine, or when do you go out with your friends, or when do i do this?" ... there's a certain amount of time, and you discuss how you want to allot it. i don't think that's a particularly poly-only issue. it's certainly a fair question though. i love you.

love to everyone!

[Professor Subterfuge]

It's kinda goofy that as adults we collectively understand that Herero and homo sexuality is ok. Everyone's quick to announce how non homophobic they are. But when poly sexuality is brought up - it's demonized with derogatory language. Whore. Incapable of intimacy. Robot with too much word play" oh wait. That's just Myq 😃.

Personally, I'm monogamous. But it's all I know. I'm glad there's people like Myq out there. Tripping balls and busting nuts. It's very...scholarly. It also makes for an interesting listen.

Loved this ep. Also loved that Myq can intelligently handle the Keith and Christian are married verbal beating. Makes for good pod.

[myq]

Originally Posted by Professor Subterfuge

It's kinda goofy that as adults we collectively understand that Herero and homo sexuality is ok. Everyone's quick to announce how non homophobic they are. But when poly sexuality is brought up - it's demonized with derogatory language. Whore. Incapable of intimacy. Robot with too much word play" oh wait. That's just Myq 😃.

Personally, I'm monogamous. But it's all I know. I'm glad there's people like Myq out there. Tripping balls and busting nuts. It's very...scholarly. It also makes for an interesting listen.

Loved this ep. Also loved that Myq can intelligently handle the Keith and Christian are married verbal beating. Makes for good pod.

Love appreciated and reciprocated!

[Nettie-poo]

I really can't believe how crazy this whole thing got, and I sort of feel like I need to address some of the things brought up in the "Stranger Danger" forum too.

First off, isn't dating like...dating non-monogamous? You don't decide to go on a date with one person for the first time and be like "welp, fuck it. Can't see anyone else right now." And, before intimacy is mentioned, some people fuck on the first date. So, you know.

Whether Myq's happiness is bullshit or not, how on Earth does it not make you feel more positive? Like, being on the show everyone was nice and happy and warm and welcoming and I'm still on a super nice hug everyone everything is awesome high. I seriously haven't stopped singing and dancing in days. Imagine having someone that can pass off that happiness all the time, to just kind of provide a pick me up..unlike certain downers I'm seeing. Good grief.

Specifically for Mike and I. The open relationship idea ultimately started with the idea that I want to watch him with someone else...cause goddamn. But, like he said, he'd need to sort of date a girl, couldn't just jump in to sex on the first go. That's where things got a little weird, because at this point he's not really meeting my needs (I have a stupid high sex drive and it is constantly on my mind...can you tell?) and his is rather low. The end game of him dating someone and coming home to me after fucking a girl and me still being able to taste the pus...I'm sidetracked. The end game would be for my sexual needs, but the time it takes to get there is not. So we also began discussing my needs, since they're not being met. I know this is a dumb emotional thing, but not being wanted that often by your significant other is a total downer on the self esteem. That's why, in the end, the idea of bringing us into an open relationship was kind of from both of us.

Mike is not a victim. I'm hoping Myq is not feeling victimized. Mike is quiet, secure with our relationship, and frankly knows I would never leave him. He is supportive, I respect it when he says no to things and he can absolutely say no to things. I might be the chatty one, but I assure you he's really the one with the power in the relationship.

[myq]

Originally Posted by Nettie-poo

Whether Myq's happiness is bullshit or not, how on Earth does it not make you feel more positive? Like, being on the show everyone was nice and happy and warm and welcoming and I'm still on a super nice hug everyone everything is awesome high. I seriously haven't stopped singing and dancing in days. Imagine having someone that can pass off that happiness all the time, to just kind of provide a pick me up..unlike certain downers I'm seeing. Good grief.

yes, even grief can have goodness. POSITIVITY ROBOT! ACTUALLY I AM HUMAN BEEP BOOP FUN.

thanks for the nice words and nice meeting. i had a fun time and am happy for all others to have fun times or whatever times people want or think they want. good work everyone doing good work!

love! I AM NOW A CARICATURE OF MYSELF. ENJOY!

[Nettie-poo]

Originally Posted by myq

yes, even grief can have goodness. POSITIVITY ROBOT! ACTUALLY I AM HUMAN BEEP BOOP FUN.
love! I AM NOW A CARICATURE OF MYSELF. ENJOY!

I'm really curious what your college papers were like...

[MrBrit]

Regarding the discussion of loving children or loving parents as an analogy to polyamory: I do believe that when you have multiple children that you love each of them a little less. It's not a zero-sum game, though. It's not like one child = 100 love for that one child, and two children = 50 love for each of those children. It's more like one child = 100 love for that child, two children = 85 love for each child. I also think that a parent who has one child and that child dies feels a much larger sense of loss than a parent who has 10 children and one of them dies.

I think the same is true of parents. I think if I had been raised by a single mother, I would have more love for her than the love I have individually for my two parents.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that poly people are greedy about love, getting as many people to love them at the same time as possible (and the emotional validation that comes with it), and they like the thrill seeking of fucking around with other people. And I understand those desires. In most cases, polyamory just seems like a public relations move because it sounds better than "player". I know numerous poly people, by the way. I think they just want some sex available at home all the time, and they also want novelty of sex on the side, but I also think they are either emotionally stunted, don't want intimacy, or are just too thrill-seeking about sex to get into a monogamous relationship.

If I were okay with being deceptive, I think I'd absolutely play the "I'm polyamorous" card if I just wanted to sleep around with a bunch of women and didn't want to come-off looking like a sleazy player: "Hey, it's not that I want to sleep around with lots of different women and not commit to any of them, it's that I just love everybody. I have so much love to give." I'm not saying that everyone who's poly is like this, but I think quite a few of them are (and I say that because I know some poly guys and one poly girl who's like that).