Bums in the Basement

[Dave]

Yesterday I was relaxing watching some tv and having a brew when there is a knock at the door. I stand up, put some trousers/pants on and answer the door. Its the police and they start to tell me that they have been called because a neighbour of mine (I live in a block of flats/apartment complex) wash going down to the basement and found that someone had been living there. So I go downstairs to have a look to see if anythings missing or if theres any damage. Now when I said they had been living there I MEAN LIVING. There was a table, a bed thing, glasses, a FUCKING FRIDGE and shit loads of strong beer. As bewildered as I was I started to think how they got in. No sign of forced entry so one of them must have had a key. So I open the back door which leads into the garden and as I look down I see a collosal shit. Yes thats human shit!! And then I saw that he had stepped in it and there was shit footprints leading like a trail to his lair. So I basically threw most of his shit outside by the trash closed the door and went upstairs and looked out of my kitchen window waiting for them to come back.


Several hours pass and I hear a commotion downstairs, so I run to the basement and find one of my neighbours talking to a stinky drunk man. Apparently he had been renting out a room without my knowledge in the basement where this vagrant could keep his belongings. And thats how he got in and decided to nest. My neighbour doesnt want to throw his stuff out, because he says he is such a nice man when he is sober. I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF HE HOLDS THE CURE FOR CANCER. THE FUCKER TOOK A SHIT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!!!!

So what do I do?

1. Break open the door to where his stuff is kept take it all to the garden and set it on fire?

2. "Force" my neighbour to give me 3 months back rent for the room he was illegaly renting that bum?

3. Both?



Picture I took of him standing next to his stuff. It started to piss down with rain about 2 minutes later.