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Show Notes and Pictures If somebody shoots me, look into him first. I eat AIDS for breakfast! You're about to get some real shit dropped on your lap. Can you imagine a show begging people not to listen? I knew how I felt. I knew that I've never felt this way about anything.
Show Notes
• Nigerian Scam Special: Western Union ads in Europe are(n't) on your side
• A Nice Surprise: Keith got random change that says KATG.com on it and sees someone wearing a KATG tote bag
• Male Grooming: A fan is unsure about men using girlie hair products
• Poison Free Poison Juice: Diet Soda is linked to premature delivery in pregnancy; Chemda struggles with her addiction
• Double Time: Fans suggest watching movies with the speed on 2x, but Keith isn't a girl and needs to get more than the gist
• Getting By: Comedians apologize for their stand-up to Chemda when they are off their game... or when they didn't try so hard
• Diane Is On Mushrooms: Keith pretends to be the Mushroom God on the phone with Diane whilst she is tripping
• Keith Is Not Homophobic: Keith doesn't like flamboyant men, be them gay or straight
• Good Will: A Goodwill worker sorting through clothing gets stabbed with a heroin needle and may have HIV
• Take Me With You, Optimus!: A Japanese man burns down his family's house after his mom throws away his figurines
• Grenades And Dynamite: Cat calls in and gives the 4-1-1 on Keith, herself, and her family
• Robot Singers: The singers on X Factor are auto-tuned to sound better and worse
• Are They Jerking Off?: Chilean miners will be trapped underground till the end of the year
• Charge Your Phone: Cat waits until her phone goes down to 1% battery life, then charges it
• Virtual Dates: Keith gets spiffy and puts on cologne for his virtual dates with Cat
• T-ing Up: A golfer misses his Pro-Am and is disqualified because his cell phone alarm did not wake him
• A - B - C ... F: Heidi didn't know her husband was filming her having sex, but she wouldn't put it passed him - this rascal
Pictures  Pussy Poison | | |  Ms. Irresistible |  Cathryn |  Out on a virtual date |  Heidi Montag can float in midair | How much dick do I have to suck to show I'm not homophobic?
Show Notes
• Bed Bugs And Alligators: Police in NYC caught an alligator. Chicago had 2 alligators caught.
• Misdiagnosed: Lindsay Lohan has been released from rehab because it turns out she has no problems
• Your Smartphone: Teenagers and women speak the most on their cell phones
• Niggardly: White people will call each other niggardly as long as they are behaving like niggers
• Devotion Vodka: The Situation rakes in millions with a protein-infused vodka
• Bullet Proof: A (Polish) man was shot in the back of his head and it took him 5 years to realize it
• Gun Control: Trey doesn't like how hard it is to get a gun in NYC because he wants to kill armadillos
• Magic Woods: You put dead animals in the woods and mother nature gives you porn
• Sawed Off Shotguns: No one needs a gun in New York, but Chemda must protect herself from thieves
• Number 1 Search: Archicat, Keith's girlfriend, is the number one search on KATG.com
• Correcting Your Feelings: A listener who is apparently illiterate tries to change Keith's mind on the Mosque situation
• Homophobic?: 56% say Keith is in the right and Keith is not satisfied with this percentage
• Off The Team: A football player is kicked off the team after getting drunk, wandering into a woman's home, taking off all his clothes, and trying to tackle the police
• The Lion Sleeps Tonight: The guy who wrote What A Wonderful World has died at 89 years old
Pictures  Sober!!!!!!! |  The Situation's touch |  Sawed Off Shotgun |  Ragan Fox |  Changing Ways |  George Weiss | I'm sorry that I had an opinion on a person that started a show with, 'Fuck me in the ass. Fuck me in the ass.'
Show Notes
• Straight Out Of Dykeville USA: Chemda and Lauren bring back Lilith Fair at the open mic
• Pollyanna Pucket: John's friend's girl doesn't like John's comedy so his friend tells her to fuck off as he takes back the drink he bought her
• Mo' Bedda Mondayz: John would stop fucking White women if he could consistently fuck attractive Black woman
• Meat Is Murder: Keith still enjoys making open face mice sandwiches and torturing immortal cockroaches
• Man vs. Bear: A bear kills his caretaker - a man who owned many exotic beasts and fought them for sport
• One Sixth: Tiger and Elin officially divorce, she is dropping the name Woods and getting $100,000,000
• The Myth Of The Hymen: A documentary that says there is no such thing as the hymen
• Cracking The Code: John has funny things to say but can't make them into jokes
• Right Jerk-Off, Right Time: By the end of this year The Situation will have made $5 million
• Fox In The City: Keith didn't want to hang out with a gay guy because he was too flamboyant
• Good At Lunch: People line up around the block in multiple countries to have lunch with John
• The Third Amigo: Martin Short's wife died, but we always thought he was gay
• Miss Universe: A 22-year-old Mexican woman wins and gets to bone Donald Trump
• Mister Irresistible: Keith wins a man-pageant in high school
• What Do We Do Now?: There has been a 60-mile traffic jam in China for 11 days
• Gettin’ Schooled: The DEA is looking for Ebonics translators
Pictures  Maria Bamford |  The "Exotic Beast" Owner |  Tiger and Elin |  The Situation |  Ragan Fox, F him in the A, Give him a BJ |  Martin Short and his late wife |  Miss Universe |  60 Miles of Dumb |  No better place to nap |  These people used to be wealthy |  Mr. Irresistible: The Early Years | I became Mayor of The Airport Bathroom.
Show Notes
• BBCOCK69 Bowling: Keith wins the first game with a 108, while Emmy scores a 7
• S'Mac: The restaurant that only sells mac and cheese was voted Best New Gimmick in Time Out NY
• Where You At?: Keith tracks all his Facebook friends' locations
• The Mayor Of Cathryn: Four Square participants can become the mayor of places they visit all the time
• The NY Pizza Burger: 4 whopper patties, mozzarella, pepperoni and marinara sauce
• Sh*t My Dad Says: Starring William BLEEPing Shatner in a show that has nothing to do with the book
• An Oldie But A Goodie: Betty White wins her 5th Emmy for hosting Saturday Night Live
• Husband Stitch: Chinese woman are getting their hymens reconstructed to attract men who like virgins
• 3D Porn: Keith watches 3D Porn and enjoys it, it's like they're in the room with you!
• People Don't Read Magazines: A study claims that young people read magazines, which is a flat-out lie
• Speidi's Sex Tape: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have an accidental sex tape on purpose
• Your Punishment: A man pimps out his daughter as a babysitter after she misses her curfew
• 28 And 40: Sookie and Vampire Bill get married even though he is 640-years-old
• Your Triggers: Jeremy London and his ex-wife Melissa go to Celebrity Rehab together. Real healthy.
• 111 Miles Per Hour: Drivers try to hit this mark in order to see a ghost biker behind them
• Extra Storage: A 19-year-old has 45 dollars fall from his asshole after he is arrested
• Death Dealers: The Iranian president is bragging about his awesome bombs for killing
• No Mosque: Keith still believes there should be no mosque near ground zero, and the cultural center won't reveal where its funding is from
• Ambassadors: Wyclef Jean is trying to prove that he did live in Haiti for 5 years so he can run for president
• Fidel Cashflo: A guy bumped into another guy and ended up getting killed in a bar brawl
• Serendipity?: A woman found out her son was dead and buried while attending her brother's funeral
• Vase With Flowers: The Van Gogh painting has been stolen twice from the same museum
• You're Outed: A listener says that a deaf bum isn't really deaf and the 'deaf' bum turns around after hearing him
• Bitches Be Stupid, Damn: Sam's girlfriend of 4 months unexpectedly loses her shit when she misses her flight. The bitch also won't pay for dates.
• Equal Pay: Women still expect men to pay for dates, although they will pretend to look for money in their purses when the check arrives
Pictures  BBCOCK69 wins this game of golf |  S'Mac |  The NY Pizza Burger |  Betty White |  3D Porn. Her rectum just pops out of the screen! |  It's like a trip to the theatre! |  It's like my house is Studio 54! |  Speidi |  Sookie and Bill |  Jeremy London and ex-wife Melissa Cunningham |  Rachel Uchitel |  A $50,000,000 picture of a vase with flowers! | It's such an embarrassing moment. What do you say?
Show Notes
• Facebook: Lauren and Chemda change their relationship status
• Places: A new app on Facebook tracks the locations of all your friends
• The Share Trap: A new Facebook app scam steals your personal information and charges $5 a week to your cell phone bill
• Upright Citizens: A rich man with a Mercedes Benz pretends to be a homeless man in front of Lauren's work
• Sad Borat: Lauren pretends to be a homeless woman on a train for an acting gig and makes bank
• Bum-Stink: Real homeless people spread their scent in train carts
• T-Shirts.com: The web domain has been sold for $2.6 million
• Growing Pains: A 12-year-old girl was arrested for selling crack in a drug bust
• No More Eggs: 380 million salmonella-contaminated eggs have been recalled
• The Jet Blue Hero: A steward is fed up with a customer, quits, grabs two beers, and jumps out the plane's emergency exit slide
• Not Guilty: The bouquet bandit is refusing a deal of 7 to 14 years in prison after being obviously guilty of robbing 4 banks
• Back Scoop: Heidi Montag's plastic surgeon dies and all his Franken-patients have a candlelight vigil in his honor
• Bed Bugs Attack: The creepy crawlers are spreading to major magazines and movie theaters
• Bleach Eyes: Lauren splashes bleach in her eyes and goes blind, but remains calm
• Cake Law: The cakes on competitive cake shows do not get eaten, they get thrown away immediately
• MyqDonalds: Myq's math on the percentage of people who work in the fast food industry was incorrect
• The Polls: Dane Cook is a joke thief; Bloody Mary is stupid; People shouldn’t talk to strangers at malls; No one cares about Steven Tyler on American Idol; Daniel Radcliffe is gay
• Back At The Shore: Ronnie is creeping behind Sammi Sweehearts back. All the guidettes know except her. Uh-oh!
• Be Into It: Wyclef Jean is not on the ballot to be the president of Haiti
Pictures  Hero Steven Slater |  It was my evil twin, your honor! |  Dr. Frankenryanstein |  Heidi Montag |  Janice Dickinson |  Joan and Melissa Rivers |  Lisa Rinna |  Gary Busey |  Harry Hamlin |  Daniel Radcliffe |  Ronnie and Sammi |  Wyclef | I think you have too much sensitivity and not enough sense of humor.
Show Notes
• Worth Every Penny: Everyone in The Expendables has a speech impediment
• 6 Degrees Of Robbing: Victor's friend gets robbed in their own building
• The Rape Trap: Predators trap women in between the two main doors of their building entrance
• Albino For Sale: A Kenyan man gets arrested for selling albinos for 400 million Tanzanian shillings
• Doctor Cunt: A Black woman calls into Dr. Laura because her White husband ignores racist comments, Dr. Laura drops the N-bomb. 11 times.
• Death Threats: No one wants Wyclef Jean to run for president in Haiti
• Whistleblowers: A fan writes in saying that the company he works for is hosting accounts with fake social security numbers
• Ghetto Fights 6: Extreme ghetto fights from the hood on pay-per-view
• Parody: Jerry O'Connell will be playing Joe Francis but can't outright say he is portraying him
• Celebrity Apprentice: Blagojevich is found guilty of lying to the government, but not of selling seats in the senate
• Way To Be, Steven: Steven Tyler is going to be a judge on American Idol, blasphemy!
• Asshole Rights: A brainy beauty is going after Google in order to find a cyber-bully on youtube
• Hardcore: The Craigslist Killer has commit suicide by stabbing himself with a homemade scalpel
• Make The Meatballs: Police arrest a mobster after he went home to his mom's house for dinner
• What To Do With Your Baby: A Florida mom gets arrested after posting a picture of her baby smoking a bong on Facebook
• Soft Shell Stick Up: A pregnant drunk woman tries to hold up a Taco John's with a hammer
• Distractions: French police are looking for 2 sexy thieves who flashed a guy at an ATM and robbed him
• Weird But True: A contractor hired to make a sign that read ‘school’ spelled it ‘shcool'. WEIRD!!!
• Work The Crowd: A fan takes Keith's advice and tells a comedian, Hey, I didn't write nothin' either. The comedian then left the stage and the club
Pictures  The Expandables |  Save The Victors |  Wyclef Jean |  Snooks! |  And we're surprised everyone is getting robbed? |  Joe Francis |  Jerry O'Connell |  Douche Blagojevich |  Steven Tyler |  Ex-Brainy Model |  The Craigslist Killer |  Baby Bong |  Bitch Mom |  Expose your baby to the finest of cultures |  Keep your baby cool with some Chilly Dogs | | |