I kissed a girl...

[doctorsleep]

And I liked it.

God I fucking despise katy perry.

Okay, so I went to a party with some freinds, we all got drunk, me and this female friend of mine flirted a bit I was mostly just messing around with her because I seriously DO NOT want a relationship with this girl. Its not that shes a bad person or anything, its just that she is way to wild for me. (yes she is a bisexual older girl with tattoo's and facial piercings who smokes) but there is more too it then that. There was a hot tub everyone was in and she pretty much gave me a lap dance and made very sensual motions with beer bottles.

I would just like to say that even though I was drunker then I have ever been in my life I think I was a smooth mother fucker, since I really don't want to have anything serious with this girl I was WAY comfortable and it was easy to just play around and have fun with her. We talked alone in a hallway for a while and kissed a few times.

Since I have never kissed a girl before Kissing was such a huge thing in my head, even bigger then sex because kissing comes before sex (unless there is money involved) So I was always expecting my first kiss to be this amazing sensual emotional expression of love and all that other gay stuff.

But it seriously was just two drunk people getting a little closer together,

NO BIG DEAL

I see it now, Ive been wrong this whole time and everyone has been right!

ITS NO BIG DEAL!!!

I fucking get it now!!!

God damn I was such a moron.

While I know that I never really would I thought about how I would love to just fuck her brains out, even though we were both drunk I was still sober enough for it to not even realistically cross my mind. She even offered but she was WAY drunk and probably didn't mean it. Like I said, I really really don't want to have a relationship with this girl, there is just too much history between us and even if the sex was just a one time kind of deal I'm still not far enough in my growth to be comfortable with it.

But I am starting to see that kissing, sex, ect really is only as big a deal as you make it. And even though it didn't mean anything I have my first kiss under my belt (not literally UNDER my belt, but you get my point) anyway, since it wasan't a big deal but felt good and I'm not having huge regrets about my first kiss not being with my soul mate I can start to see how sex with someone who I wouldn't have an intention to marry or anything like that can be no big deal.

It felt good, and I know that if its with someone I love then it can feel even better, but now that I have atleast KISSED a girl thats SOOO much pressure off of me because I know that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, while I would think that they could multiply on each other, they can be independent of each other.

I know I'm rambling but I think I'm really starting to see some light here am I finally starting to get this whole "be a person" thing right?

[Rhian]

I like Katy Perry songs when she doesn't sing them.

Glad you were able to let go of some hangups and enjoy the experience.

[Jo_Culprit]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

...and made very sensual motions with beer bottles.
-------
It felt good, and I know that if its with someone I love then it can feel even better, but now that I have at least KISSED a girl thats SOOO much pressure off of me because I know that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, while I would think that they could multiply on each other, they can be independent of each other.

quite possibly one of the best posts you've ever written.

anyways, good stuff. Hows the weight and fitness stuff going?

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, while I would think that they could multiply on each other, can be independent of each other.

Yep.

The beautiful thing is, you will eventually have amazing emotionally nut busting lovingly expressed first kisses with girls. Your first kiss is not your last first kiss. Every new girl is a new first kiss. There's a rainbow of experience out there and I'm psyched you're starting to see the possibilities.

[DudeEMETIB]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

I fucking get it now!!!
....
I think I'm really starting to see some light here am I finally starting to get this whole "be a person" thing right?

Congratulations Sleep, I'm sincerely glad for you. Yes, you've realized what we've been telling you all along.

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by Jo_Culprit

quite possibly one of the best posts you've ever written.

anyways, good stuff. Hows the weight and fitness stuff going?

Im on day 5 of P90X My entire body is sore all over...its awesome

[Anxious Nerd]

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

[Junkenstein]

good job, doctor. now to the many steps that will guide yout to your first true heartbreak...

[Diglass]

Welcome to what you should have been doing around ten years ago.

[Space Indaver]

There's this thing called blogging.