36: Birth Mother

[littlp]

I was terrified to listen to this episode due to my own issues with very likely not being able to conceive on my own. (Type 1 diabetes, no thyroid, poly cystic ovary where without birth control I only get a cycle every 6-8 months). I was afraid of how emotional I would get. This is a beautiful important story. This will help me when we are ready to adopt.

[mariahmwrites]

Originally Posted by thelastknowngod

Such a sweet episode. I'm male, 27 with a miscarriage and vasectomy behind me.. I'm not exactly one for having children but I definitely got a little verklempt when you guys started talking about singing that song to Leo. That kid is going to be fine. He's definitely a lucky kid.

Can we have an episode with the people who take care of the newborns in that interim period? Carmella and her husband?

I'm obsessed with Carmella. She's a beast.

[CDspace]

Just wanted to say, this episode alone makes VIP worth it all.

Mariah, I admire you for what you have done. I know it can be hard, I have two daughters out there, and I can't even see them. (FYI I'm male, and my ex turned out to be more crazy than I expected) They are being raised by another guy that they call "daddy". It's not easy letting your babies go. But sometimes, it's for the best.

But since then, I've met someone new, and we have a new little baby girl (5 months), and life could not be any better. You mentioned on the show you want kids, when the time is right. The time will be right, just be ready for it. Trust me, it hits you like nothing else. I'm now a stay-at-home dad, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Just wanted to say I appreciated hearing another point of view on having to let another raise ones child. Chemda, awesome job, once again, on the interview. Mariah, I trust life will work itself out for you, and know Leo will always love you.

[andyoureuglytoo]

I've got some close gay friends (our rehearsal space is in the basement of their flower shop) who have been trying to adopt.

An agency didn't work, overseas didn't work...

So as gay men, they started looking on their own. They were very particular about where they searched because, in certain states, they could both be "the father" and in some states only one could be "the father." They created a Facebook page, placed ads in newspapers in the respective states, advertised on Craigslist. They have so many horror stories from the process. So far, they have spent around $50,000.

One woman they were talking to had a miscarriage.

One woman was addicted to Meth and had 2 kids in a 1-bedroom apartment. She was pregnant with her third. Dad was in prison and wouldn't sign the paperwork because it was two gay men. The woman decided to keep her baby. They said this was worse than the miscarriage because now this baby will go through hell.

A 15-year old girl called and claimed to be pregnant. After about a month, the guys realized she wasn't pregnant and just wanted someone to talk to.

One woman left her kids with her mom, went to the park and had a "quickie" with a stranger. She got pregnant from it. She wanted the guys to pay her rent, food bills, medical expenses and give her an allowance. Their lawyer told them not to go through with it because she, in the end, still might decide to keep the baby.

Another woman found out she was pregnant and got in touch with the guys. She hadn't told her boyfriend yet. After they had been talking for a while, she told her boyfriend and they decided to raise it together!

Now, they've found a lesbian couple in New Jersey. Each woman has a child from a different relationship and they have one together. Now one of them is going to carry a baby for 2 gay guys in Ohio. However, the surrogacy laws in NJ so strict that neither man can use their own sperm and they have to go to a sperm bank. Then the women have to put the baby up for adoption. Only then can the men legally adopt the baby.

:-/

She's supposed to be getting fertilized this week!

Here's to hoping!

[Jmsmittyroad]

I have been binging on old episodes and just got to this one. Yours is a very touching story and you did such a wonderful thin giving that gift to another family. I have two cousins that were adopted as infants and they helped make our family complete. In case you haven't heard enough positive messages, let me add mine...

Chemda, great interview!

[astrokahn]

Chemda-
My favorite part of your show is the part where the guest says something like "Can I say that on here? What are the rules?" To which you reply "fuck shit cunt bitch whore." Please always let them ask, it's the best. I wish Danny could make a montage of these moments.

This was such a moving episode,I almost cried like 5 times, thinking what a perfect family she chose and how fortunate she was to have the situation turn out as it did, albeit so terribly painful. We would all love an update at some point to see how Leo is doing.

[BrianAlt]

At the risk of speaking for someone else, I'll tell you what I know. Leo (very) recently turned one and Mariah is doing well, emotional, but well. And she's still awesome.