76: Line, Sync, and Hooker

[Jeff_Jowdy]

Myq hangs out with Chemda, Lauren and Mark Normand on the KATG Network

https://twitter.com/keithandthegirl

https://twitter.com/laurenhennessy

https://twitter.com/marknorm

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[myq]

Mark Normand! So much fun a KATG episode just got named after him. Collect them all!

[littlp]

I really enjoyed this episode. I love how nonjudgmental Chemda and Lauren are with Mark bc I am sure there are people out there who had these questions but were too afraid to ask.

[myq]

Originally Posted by littlp

I really enjoyed this episode. I love how nonjudgmental Chemda and Lauren are with Mark bc I am sure there are people out there who had these questions but were too afraid to ask.

Agreed!
Everyone was open and honest about their truths. A good thing!

[myq]

PS thanks for listening! glad you enjoyed!

[lalalemon]

I am so in love with this episode. The talk about gender and sexuality always fascinates me, and it's nice to hear some of my own thoughts expressed by people I really look up to.

As a fellow lover and follower of Dan savage I wish "monogamish" was a more widely known and accepted concept. It has worked wonders for my current relationship and I honestly don't think I'd still be in it if we hadn't come to that understanding. Hearing stories like Myq's makes me feel like I'm making the right decision when most of my friends are like 'Whahahappa? Youdowha? Okaythatllworkriiiiiight'

I also really understood Myq's comments about sometimes understanding himself as a lesbian. Fairly early in my relationship I told my bf more than once that he reminded me more of a lesbian than a straight man... given he was raised by a mother, 5 sisters, and a gay brother- but his femininity and emotional intelligence was so connected, so on the same level as my own that it was weird to me how well we understood each other and how deeply our relationship developed in a relatively short period of time. Funnily enough he is also mistaken as gay on a regular basis.



Thanks for a great show. I am so impressed with how VIP has taken off and really opened up a new world for us fans. Can't wait for more

[myq]

Originally Posted by lalalemon

I am so in love with this episode. The talk about gender and sexuality always fascinates me, and it's nice to hear some of my own thoughts expressed by people I really look up to.

Thanks so much! I am so in love with your posting here.

As a fellow lover and follower of Dan savage I wish "monogamish" was a more widely known and accepted concept. It has worked wonders for my current relationship and I honestly don't think I'd still be in it if we hadn't come to that understanding. Hearing stories like Myq's makes me feel like I'm making the right decision when most of my friends are like 'Whahahappa? Youdowha? Okaythatllworkriiiiiight'

Much appreciated!
And the good news is that I believe the concept of "monogamish" and awareness of the idea of polyamory and openness in general, these things are all gaining more presence in the public consciousness. The same way there have always been gay people, but it used to be they had to operate in secret for fear of judgment or worse, in a very short time a lot of progress has been made, and I think openness is on that track as well.
There are tons of smart, thoughtful, reasonable, loving people living this way, talking about it, being examples that show it isn't just a bunch of creeps and weirdos (or at least if they are, it's the best kind of creeps and weirdos), and more and more people who never had thought about it are now hearing about it, being all right with it, and even giving it a shot.
We're on our way!

I also really understood Myq's comments about sometimes understanding himself as a lesbian. Fairly early in my relationship I told my bf more than once that he reminded me more of a lesbian than a straight man... given he was raised by a mother, 5 sisters, and a gay brother- but his femininity and emotional intelligence was so connected, so on the same level as my own that it was weird to me how well we understood each other and how deeply our relationship developed in a relatively short period of time. Funnily enough he is also mistaken as gay on a regular basis.

Am I your boyfriend? Everything sounds like me except for I didn't have any siblings (and I do have a dad).

Sincerely, very glad you have found this guy (doll? gal? person!). Hooray!

Thanks for a great show. I am so impressed with how VIP has taken off and really opened up a new world for us fans. Can't wait for more

Thank YOU! For listening and sharing.

And if your geographical identifier is correct and you are indeed in Louisville, KY, I will also be there with Zach Sherwin doing a show on August 20, I believe. Hope to see you there if you're around! (And we can settle once and for all whether I'm your boyfriend.)

[BrianAlt]

Wow, I loved this conversation! It reminded me that I used to have conversations just like this back in late high school / college / post college. Then I got married and that was pretty much it.

I would have loved to be part of this conversation. Which might define the best podcasts. When you would have loved being in the room and part of the discussion, it must be a fantastic episode!

[myq]

Originally Posted by BrianAlt

Wow, I loved this conversation! It reminded me that I used to have conversations just like this back in late high school / college / post college. Then I got married and that was pretty much it.

I would have loved to be part of this conversation. Which might define the best podcasts. When you would have loved being in the room and part of the discussion, it must be a fantastic episode!

Thanks Brian! Would have been happy to have you in the conversation. In fact, now you are! What do you have to say for yourself?

And why did you stop having conversations like this just because you were married? Answered all the questions for yourself? What kinds of conversations do married people have? (Or not "married people," necessarily, but you individually at least. Sincere curiosity!)

[BrianAlt]

Originally Posted by myq

Thanks Brian! Would have been happy to have you in the conversation. In fact, now you are! What do you have to say for yourself?

I also grew up in a largely female centric family. I lived in a two family home. The other family was my mother's sister (my aunt) and her family. Both families had 2 boys and 2 girls. My grandmother moved in with us in my early teens.

That sounds pretty balanced, but it wasn't. My dad often wasn't around much, he was off working. My uncle was off doing whatever he was doing. So it was regularly my grandmother, my aunt, my mother, my older cousin (female and 10 months younger than me), my sister (3 years younger) and me. My younger cousin is male, but he isn't much of a heavy thinker.

So I was often at the table with five other women. I feel like I got a pretty steady dose of the female perspective. My aunt was a very outspoken woman and very funny. (Side note: she died a year ago after having Alzheimers for many years. Very sad seeing this vivacious woman turn into nothing. In many ways death was a blessing. She was in her early 60s.)

So I've always related to women more than men. In fact, throughout my life I've only had a handful of close male friends. To this day I'm very comfortable sitting around with my wife's friends.

And why did you stop having conversations like this just because you were married? Answered all the questions for yourself? What kinds of conversations do married people have? (Or not "married people," necessarily, but you individually at least. Sincere curiosity!)

When I got engaged a guy in my office congratulated me and said, "welcome to the club!" A coworker of mine said to me, "there is no club." And he was right. Men don't really talk about being married. Sure, they jokingly complain about their wives. But no one discusses what it feels like, the emotions, the pains, the struggles of being married. Women may discuss it with other women, but men don't discuss it with other men. And sexuality becomes more secretive. It's just between your wife and you. Talking about it outside of that feels a little like cheating, emotionally cheating.

Several years later, after my daughter was born, that same coworker was adopting a baby. I told him he was right, there was no marriage club. But there is a parents club! People don't talk about their marriages. That's why others are often so surprised when people get divorced. They didn't see it coming. But people do talk about their children. All parents want to know that their kid is at least on track. "Is it okay that my child isn't walking yet at one?" "My baby hasn't rolled over yet, is that okay?" "Oh, your child throws everything all over the room too? Whew, good to know!" I wrote down and counted my daughter's first 100 words! Did she have a 100 word vocabulary before others her age? I wanted to know.

As for all questions being answered, is that ever possible?

Back to divorce. It's remarkable how much I hear about their marriage after they get divorced!

So it's not that I'm unwilling to have these conversations after I got married. In fact I found certain outlets to have these conversations. It's just not as readily accessible, or comfortable, or to a certain degree acceptable.

Thanks for giving me an outlet to express these things.