1092: In the Bushes

[Keith]

“You hold the door open for the world forever; you’re never gonna get inside.”


www.BenLerman.net

[punk'n]

That SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS, Ben. Sorry to hear about your deportation. And Chris totally still likes you.

[TrickyToro]

Poor Ben. When I was 19 and carefree and hitching all around Europe I was refused entry into Dover and put back on a ferry to Calais for stupidly and naively telling the customs agent I had little money and was just bumming around with kids I met in France.

[RefusingYouLiquor]

I do the same thing in Canada him not lying was the best thing he could do, once they opened his bags.... it would've been worse..... no 48 hour stay at all...... the guy was being nice

[thepetek]

McNally and Lerhman should write a book about getting into countries when they're kinda sorta breaking work rules. It would be half bitchy and half catchy.

[edit typo trans 's' and 'a']

[benlerman]

Wow. 70% of you heartless bastards would have me deported, huh? Go fuck yourselves. First I get my heart stepped on by the UK border agent, and now the KATG audience would send me packing as well. Consider this information, you unsympathetic fucktards: had I applied for a work permit, I would have been denied. The laws make it impossible for me to obtain a work permit.

I called the British Embassy to find out the rules today as the language on the UK border patrol website is indecipherable. Yes, I should have done this before I left the country. But before you judge me, remember that the last time I went to the UK, I played a month of shows in Edinburgh and was admitted with no work permit. (It turns out that there are special considerations for the Fringe Festival, and you don't need a permit to enter at that time. This is why I didn't think I needed a permit.)

In order to get a work permit (even for non-paid performing), you have to get sponsored by a "registered sponsor." To be a registered sponsor, a venue or presenter has to pay the British government £400 - £600 ($700 - $1000). No 30-seat indie venue is going to have that kind of money to spend on a permit.

Here's what I learned: Being a better liar is the only way someone like me could play a show in the UK. If I want to play in the UK, I have to plan and deceive like a real criminal. Further, the venue can't publish or advertise my show in advance, I can't bring any CDs or promotional materials, and I'll have to borrow a equipment. There is no way to play by the rules when the deck is stacked against you to the tune of $1000.

These immigration rules are geared to keeping independent artists out or putting themselves at risk for deportation. Clearly, I'm no criminal mastermind. I will never again attempt to visit the UK and steal unpaid jobs out of the hands of British citizens.

[Kydizzle]

Originally Posted by benlerman

Wow. 70% of you heartless bastards would have me deported, huh? Go fuck yourselves. First I get my heart stepped on by the UK border agent, and now the KATG audience would send me packing as well. Consider this information, you unsympathetic fucktards: had I applied for a work permit, I would have been denied. The laws make it impossible for me to obtain a work permit.

I called the British Embassy to find out the rules today as the language on the UK border patrol website is indecipherable. Yes, I should have done this before I left the country. But before you judge me, remember that the last time I went to the UK, I played a month of shows in Edinburgh and was admitted with no work permit. (It turns out that there are special considerations for the Fringe Festival, and you don't need a permit to enter at that time. This is why I didn't think I needed a permit.)

In order to get a work permit (even for non-paid performing), you have to get sponsored by a "registered sponsor." To be a registered sponsor, a venue or presenter has to pay the British government £400 - £600 ($700 - $1000). No 30-seat indie venue is going to have that kind of money to spend on a permit.

Here's what I learned: Being a better liar is the only way someone like me could play a show in the UK. If I want to play in the UK, I have to plan and deceive like a real criminal. Further, the venue can't publish or advertise my show in advance, I can't bring any CDs or promotional materials, and I'll have to borrow a equipment. There is no way to play by the rules when the deck is stacked against you to the tune of $1000.

These immigration rules are geared to keeping independent artists out or putting themselves at risk for deportation. Clearly, I'm no criminal mastermind. I will never again attempt to visit the UK and steal unpaid jobs out of the hands of British citizens.

It's okay ben. you were honest in a dumb situation, and from how you told the story, i blame the asshole power hungry customs agent. he could have let it slide, the bastard.

[benlerman]

Originally Posted by Kydizzle

It's okay ben. you were honest in a dumb situation

Not exactly. I lied to the agent about whether I had any shows pre-arranged. I just hadn't premeditated an attempt to get into the country as I didn't think I was doing anything wrong until I saw that look in his eyes. He could have let it slide anyway. But still, thanks for your support. Believe me when I say that I've learned my lesson. A very very expensive lesson.

[Kydizzle]

Originally Posted by benlerman

Not exactly. I lied to the agent about whether I had any shows pre-arranged. I just hadn't premeditated an attempt to get into the country as I didn't think I was doing anything wrong until I saw that look in his eyes. He could have let it slide anyway. But still, thanks for your support. Believe me when I say that I've learned my lesson. A very very expensive lesson.

haha, then forget it. you're a filthy liar, but he's an a-hole.

[benlerman]

Originally Posted by Kydizzle

haha, then forget it. you're a filthy liar, but he's an a-hole.

Unfortunately, not filthy enough.