1091: Good Morning!

[Keith]

"Sometimes the show makes you discover what a fuckin' retard you are."


Myq Kaplan

Crazy Myka Fox

In Living Video - Keith and The Girl Free Comedy Talk Show

[thepetek]

Any time Chemda complains about Keith's drinking, play the first...half hour or so of this show. Maybe the whole show. Don't know yet. Busy drinking.

Myq, I'm writing to my senators to make all drugs legal for you.

[DWarrior]

The snooze is the worst thing ever, and it's always the biggest fucking button on the clock, fortunately whoever thought up of this idea is most likely burning in hell now.

I used to have an alarm I programmed that made me do 3 math problems to ensure I was cognitively awake because sometimes I wake up with the alarm turned off and have no recollection of having turned it off.

[Keith]

That's silly.

To be clear.

I'm serious.

[Bucho]

Ever since Keith pointed out a couple weeks ago how Cindy Adams starts her things with "So" I've been noticing it it everywhere, this phenomenon of people starting sentences with the word. It's almost always younger people, almost always American kids, like Generation Y and under, and I have no idea where the fuck it came from or why anyone started using it. As far as I can tell it's mostly people who are less confident who use it, like they're afraid to just start right out and state their point so they use this kind of submissive softener to ease themselves into their own point or story. This seems at odds with Keith's version of Cindy Adams but I think she uses it the same way, it's become a crutch to people who want to sound casually conversational. But I never hear self-assured people use it; for example Keith never uses it but Myka does.

Speaking of Myka, self-confident or not she and Myq were hilarious this episode. The show started slow with the hip-hop nonsense never really catching fire but at some point soon after that it kicked into gear and the four way banter was sparkling like a pedophilic vampire in the sun (but in a good way).

And speaking of Myka, as for the fat passenger solution, she read my mind with the thing about how the metal detector thing is only a certain width. It's like when you enter a drive through and there's a max vehicle height board you have to drive under, or a rollercoaster with minimum height restrictions. If you can't fit through a passage that's the width of the seat you quit being a selfish motherfuck who wants to pass their problems on to other people and you buy two seats.

Lastly, and speaking of Myka, there are pros and cons to drinking your urine, and I've never heard them better explained than by professional nutjob badass Lyoto Machida ...

[Sokkratez]

I've been using my laptop as an alarm clock over the last week, and it's working great. I use a program called Citrus Alarm Clock (http://www.ornj.net/citrus/) that works similarly to the alarm Myq described where the sound comes in slowly over an amount of time. I set it for 5 minutes before I want to be up and have it fade in a song over 6 minutes. I usually wake up about 3 or 4 minutes into it. The nice thing about it is that I don't notice the music woke me up until I'm already past that window of time where you're pissed off at the first thing your senses become aware of. It's the first time an alarm hasn't made me go insane; I know what Chemda means when she says even alarm noises in movies and TV shows make her cringe.

[DWarrior]

Originally Posted by Bucho

Lastly, and speaking of Myka, there are pros and cons to drinking your urine, and I've never heard them better explained than by professional nutjob badass Lyoto Machida ...

Damn, that's crazy, and I would imagine greatly misinformed. Urine therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Urine does contain substances that are beneficial, such as Vitamin C; however, these substances have been excreted because they could not be used or because they were present in excess, so re-taking them will just result in re-excretion.

This smells terribly of pseudoscience (and piss).

The only urine drinking I've heard of that made any sense was by a couple of olympic athletes who tasted a bit of their urine every morning to judge their nutritional balance.

[yetanotherdave]

I use my iPhone for my alarm too. Damn thing lets you set as many alarms as you like, by necessity I have alarms at 5:30, 5:35, 5:40, 5:45, 5:50, 5:55, 6.00. One of these days I'll get up on the first one...
Any later than 6 and I'm late for work, there's no point getting out of bed
No, I'm not a morning person, yes my wife isa stay at home mother and not happy with this.

[Sphincterrific]

Originally Posted by Bucho

Ever since Keith pointed out a couple weeks ago how Cindy Adams starts her things with "So" I've been noticing it it everywhere, this phenomenon of people starting sentences with the word. It's almost always younger people, almost always American kids, like Generation Y and under, and I have no idea where the fuck it came from or why anyone started using it.

The first time I noticed it was with stand-up comics! I blame them! Every other bit starts with "So I was at the laundromat the other day" or "So I'm ordering Chinese food..." It's like the universal segue in stand-up. I don't think it has anything to do with generations, because if you go back to the 80s or 90s, it's the comics who are all saying "So I was reading the newspaper..."

I think comics have a far bigger influence on language usage than anyone realizes.

[Junkenstein]

8 mile more: Myka Fox as McNugget

Lovely!!!

Post: Myq and Myka are funny on their own, but as a team they're a destructive laugh machine. Like a psycho version of K and C.

And Myq has become a comical mastermind. Wow.