1114: Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout?

[Keith]

"When is it appropriate to lie under the forks of a forklift truck?"

[RachaelBachael]

I took the census test about a month ago.

I want to work in the office (they have one in every semi-large city in the country) and they need to fill a quota of hiring a certain number of students, elderly, etc. There is no way in hell I am working "in the field", people get shot and raped that way, it's super dangerous, especially being a young white female.

I showed up to the test with 2 forms of government ID and a job application I got from the census website and had already filled out. The test proctor was flabergasted that I even knew where to get the application, much less that I had already filled it out. There was only 1 other test taker with me, a woman who was maybe 40 and said she had been a "group leader" last time the census was given, meaning she basically was in charge of a group of people when they were in a neighborhood collecting information. She wanted to become a leader again because they make good money (I think the starting wage of anyone is $13/hour and it increases if you are billingual or are in a higher position).

We had to wait until the official time the test was reported to have started even though the other woman and I were the only ones who had called and said we were coming. After about 20 minutes of twiddling our thumbs we got the test. It was a super easy test, what you might expect. Most of the questions were about filing papers (if the file of "Kim Johnson" is filed under her last name, is it filed under A. "K" B. "B" C. "J" or D. "I") and the rest of the questions were about reading a map and figuring out how many people lived in a residence. There was even study material given to us before the test so we could "prepare" ourselves.

I answered everything correctly and was told I could leave and they would call me when they needed me, probably closer to the spring. The other woman FAILED! You had to have gotten a 70% on the test to pass and the woman who had already taken the test and lead a group of people who conducted the census had failed!!!

I still haven't heard from them yet.

[gumby013]

I have figured out what Keith's formula does.

T=Q^3

It figures out the volume (T) of a cube with edge (Q).

[Badger]

Keith's semi-matter™ invention reminded me of the patent think tanks that have been set up solely to think of ideas for future technology and patent them. They don't research, develop or put any time or resource into actually creating the technology - they just seal up the patent with a bunch of lawyers so they can take 90% of the profits from anyone who does actually invent the thing in the future.

Here's one: Lukasigroup Patent Think Tank

Exploring the Froniters of Invention

Invention is constantly expanding the boundaries of technology and the Lukas IP Group patent think tank is at the frontier. Patent think tank services involve assembling a team of experts in a particular field of industry, or working with an already established team or entrepreneur, researching and mapping the patent landscape, sourcing and licensing existing intellectual property, pushing the boundary of innovation in a direction never envisioned before and staking new ground with new patents that comport with the client’s strategic and aggressive needs. The Lukas IP Group provides the vision, systems and people that a start-up depends on for getting the IP right.

Imagine the possibilities.

Total scumbags.

[Zenko]

A relaxed episode not as kicking as yesterday but hey, keith sounds tired.

[Junkenstein]

Hmm, yeah i agree with using a different e-mail for work. I have a work mail account with my name properly written, and other acounts for the rest.

And it's not "I beat kids for a living", it's "i kill children" . I would never beat a kid for a living.

Jesse talked about that guy with the weird laughter on an old episode. I thought he was talking about Victor. Hum.

PS: The mail is from a punk song. It's like getting a giant penis tattoed when drunk. It's embarassing but you're kinda fond of it.

[punk'n]

I so knew she was talking about you, Junk. I'm psychic. Hehehe.

[nhlegend]

Give police the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner? Seems like Keith watched Judge Dredd too many times.

[Junkenstein]

Re-listen to the old episode man. It's way more complex than that.

Of course you're psychic Punks! I bet you know what's the colour of Faceboy's pants right now! (teee heee hee)

[fluxquanta]

I am a physics PhD student and I must say, Keith is on to something with his T=q^3 and semi-matter theories.

If I could, I would nominate Keith for the Nobel in Physics and Chemistry for 2010.