1537: Making It Official

[stulagu]

Originally Posted by 1goodI

I told her "Do you know how much money I make? No way in hell I'm spending that much money on jewelry". After that I started questioning net or gross, etc...

How much or better yet how big of a ring do you ladies need? Let's be honest it's just to show off to your friends. And guys could generally care less about your friends. Should I be breaking my back to pay for a ring and one day wedding?

Romantic. Awesome. Way to make her feel special.

That being said, no, you shouldn't break the bank. Yes, it is to show off to her friends. The main pressure of a ring, is that a woman likes to feel that her man "knows her". She would love for you to give her a ring and think, "oh my goodness! he knew that I wanted a 1920's art deco antique ring with a marquis cut diamond!!!!"

But that probably won't happen. I know my husband has no clue what jewelry I like, hell, I don't even know and I change my mind all the time. So I see this as unreasonable pressure on the guy.

You have a couple options...propose in a sincere, low key way with a cute ring (like Keith...which is honestly brilliant). Most jewelry stores will let you purchase a base ring, which you return to the store after the proposal and pick out the ring together. You could also get her a starter ring that is small now and then she can upgrade later.

The main point is to make it personal. Not elaborate, not expensive, but personal. Look through your girlfriend's jewelry box when she isn't home and start noticing what jewelry she wears on an everyday basis. It will help you figure out her style. Another way is to talk to one of her sisters or best friends (as long as they can keep their trap shut, most cant) for help. My sister has helped two of her girlfriend's guys pick out rings...sometimes you just need an outside opinion.

[operababe]

My sister has helped two of her girlfriend's guys pick out rings...sometimes you just need an outside opinion.

I was going to suggest bringing one of her friends. Friends know what kind of style she would have, and chances are they have talked about their ideal engagement rings.

But as was said, take a look at what she wears on a regular basis. This is something she is going to wear everyday, they need to go together.


I have flat out told my boyfriend not to let a salesperson talk him into a white gold ring for me. They are trendy right now, but I wear a yellow gold ring that belonged to my Grandmother. If it didn't match my engagement ring I would hate to have to go without wearing it anymore.

[stulagu]

Originally Posted by operababe

I have flat out told my boyfriend not to let a salesperson talk him into a white gold ring for me. They are trendy right now, but I wear a yellow gold ring that belonged to my Grandmother. If it didn't match my engagement ring I would hate to have to go without wearing it anymore.

I'm a yellow gold person as well. My 13 year old engagement ring is delicate and still something I love. .75 carats, cost us $1300 back in college (John was proud that he talked the guy down to $850). I don't care about flawless diamonds, as I don't see them as much of an investment, but I do like the sparkle. If I was to buy a new ring for myself, it would be an antique, those gems are better quality and the rings have more personality.

I hate the new way that jewlers are taking four smaller diamonds and putting them together so they look huge...it just goes to show that people are all about the appearance vs the value.

I recently shot a charity dinner hosted by one of the Vikings players, and the viking wives were at a table showing off the newest engagement ring. Not even kidding, that thing must have been 5 carats. It was just ostentatious! Now, I love sparkles as much as the next gal, but you could kill someone with that rock. It was too much.

[Lanfear]

Oh my I have such a hard time understanding this whole engagement ring topic but I think that is mainly because its not the norm to spend that much on an engagement ring here in Germany. Wedding rings - sure but these are not going into the thousands of dollars range.


And besides the fact that I'd much rather go on a two week vacation - isn't it super scary to run around your day to day life with that amount of money on your finger??? I'd be constantly worried that I loose or destroy it. And if everybody knows that these rings are super expensive how are women not constantly getting mugged?

[stulagu]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

Oh my I have such a hard time understanding this whole engagement ring topic but I think that is mainly because its not the norm to spend that much on an engagement ring here in Germany. Wedding rings - sure but these are not going into the thousands of dollars range.

My husband lost his $1200 wedding band a few years back (I insisted that his costs as much as mine). It did bring perspective to the whole thing. He now wears his grandpas...which I think is made of tin. Super cheap, but meaningful.

Marriage isn't even done the same way in Germany as in the US, correct, Lanfear? I know that in Sweden, it is not super common to marry until after you have kids...is that how it is in all of Europe?

In America, we do what we do best, commercialize everything. The only reason you have to spend lavishly on a wedding is because the wedding industry tells you you have to. And your best friend spent $26000 last year on hers, so you need to make sure you spend at LEAST that.

I remember after the UK royal wedding, the US wedding industry was disappointed because it wasn't as lavish as they thought it would be. Gross.

[Sparrow]

I liked having an engagement ring; financed some bitchin' post-break up traveling.

[punk'n]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I liked having an engagement ring; financed some bitchin' post-break up traveling.

I fucking love you.