1983: What Would Stitch Do?

[dannyhatch]

With Ray DeVito and Anthony DeVito

Road rage, pedestrian rage, molly, pot edibles


Share this episode: What Would Stitch Do? (Keith and The Girl) - Comedy Talk Show & Podcast

Subscribe for free: Keith and The Girl podcast on your iPhone, iPad and iPod with iTunes

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by J. Canines

Whoever voted yes

We would like to hear that story

I'm one of the 2 (thus far).

These sorts of stories are better told verbally rather than textually, but to summarise:

1) sort of hit a couple of cunts jogging. I pulled out of a driveway, didn't see them and they ran into my front quarter panel, so technically I didn't really hit them; although Mr Cunty did punch my car several times while Mrs Cunty screamed abuse. And no, I am not Ray DeVito.

2) Opened my door into a cyclist. Fortunately for my car, he wasn't going very fast. Fortunately for me, he wasn't very big.

3) Many other vehicle vs vehicle accidents, including one where I was driving a car towing a trailer with another car on it. Wildly misjudged braking distance, slammed both feet on the brake pedal (pre-ABS car, lucky me) locked up all 4 and slid towards the arse of the stopped car ahead of me. At the last minute, rather than go nose first into the car, I flicked the wheel so the passenger door smashed into the stopped car instead. Mate in that seat screamed like a bitch and almost jumped into my lap Pussy.

[bithead]

Like Chemda, I couldn't get over Anthony DeVito's firm position that he not be called a crazy person. That part had me laughing hysterically.

[Scat]

Scumhook, you sound like an absolutely terrible driver.

[campy]

Sounds like you'd fit in nicely here Scum, the rest of Canada drive like old ladies on ativan.

My son tells me to slow down regularly which is a REALLY good habit he has. I like that little voice of reason wafting in from the back "momma, not too fast" .

I recommend that ALL drivers spend time as pedestrians and cyclists. It makes you a much better , more aware, driver. I only got my first car at 37. I've been walking biking and busing a LOT longer then driving

[Keith]

That's right, drivers! Be a pedestrian sometimes too!

[ImStillToni]

A bike messenger hit MY car around 8th Ave, does that count?

Scummy, as soon as I told MrToni "hey my homie hit a few people on bikes" he just started rolling and yelled "that bike messenger yo!" To this day I have never seen both a bike and its rider hit a perfect 180 angle so for a brief second, they were both perpendicular to the car door. It's been at least 12 years but I am sitting here with tears rolling down my eyes.

My husband opened the door and had the door open way before the cyclist rode into it, so that fucker hit me imo. Scummy...did the door really hit the cyclist or did the cyclist ride into the door like a big dummy?

[Scumhook]

Originally Posted by Scat

Scumhook, you sound like an absolutely terrible driver.

That's probably due to me being one.

Originally Posted by campy

I recommend that ALL drivers spend time as pedestrians and cyclists.

Fuck that shit. If you're on the road, you give way to things that are bigger than you. These cuntbags on bikes want the same "rights" as motorists, but then they blaze through red lights when it suits them.

Originally Posted by ImStillToni

A bike messenger hit MY car around 8th Ave, does that count?

It does if you derived enjoyment from seeing the arsehole go head over fucking heels,

Originally Posted by ImStillToni

Scummy, as soon as I told MrToni "hey my homie hit a few people on bikes" he just started rolling and yelled "that bike messenger yo!" To this day I have never seen both a bike and its rider hit a perfect 180 angle so for a brief second, they were both perpendicular to the car door.

I've been on the receiving end too. I was riding a barely-registered dirt bike on the road at night, approached an intersection where there was a car in both the left & right lane (2 lane, X intersection). These cars were turning left & right respectively, so Scummy the genius decides to scream through between them.

Trouble was, the car coming the other way couldn't see me, and commences his right turn (equivalent to left turn for yanks etc).

He sees me at the last minute and stops mid-intersection. I see him. I'm fucked. Don't know how fast i'm going because my speedo doesn't work. Slam on the front brake to get the nose down, and i remember jumping just as it hit.

As I flew through the air, I felt myself cartwheeling and thinking, "Well fuck, this is gonna hurt when I land".

I land, hear the crunch as my helmet hits the road, and I tumble for a bit until I come to a stop. Lie there for a second or two, and realise I'm not dead.

Get up, and start walking back to the intersection. Jeans are in tatters with a bit of road rash on the legs, but other than that, Scummy skates again.

One of the witnesses, said "Mate, someone's looking after you". Maybe he was right, cos I'm still here.

Originally Posted by ImStillToni

My husband opened the door and had the door open way before the cyclist rode into it, so that fucker hit me imo. Scummy...did the door really hit the cyclist or did the cyclist ride into the door like a big dummy?

In my case, the two wheeled cunt rode into my door. I opened it without looking, but I still blame him.

[canuck8122]

Fuck that shit. If you're on the road, you give way to things that are bigger than you. These cuntbags on bikes want the same "rights" as motorists, but then they blaze through red lights when it suits them.

Can't say that I agree with everything you say here Scum, but I do like this comment, I ride a motorcycle (started riding last year) and was taught this is called the "right of weight", even though I may be doing the right thing on my bike, doesn't mean that the cement truck that turns in front of me is going to feel it when I plow into the side of it!

[bithead]

Originally Posted by canuck8122

I ride a motorcycle (started riding last year) and was taught this is called the "right of weight", even though I may be doing the right thing on my bike, doesn't mean that the cement truck that turns in front of me is going to feel it when I plow into the side of it!

As someone who has been driven into by a transport truck (while driving a 1992 Honda Civic), I can attest to the "heavy" vehicle being completely unaware it was dragging my car in it's wheel-well.