Latest Episode
Play

Go Back   Keith and The Girl Forums Keith and The Girl Forums Show Talk

Show Talk Talk about the show

View Poll Results: Have you ever hit somebody with your car?
Yes 9 20.93%
No 34 79.07%
Voters: 43. You may not vote on this poll

Like Tree14Likes
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-27-2014, 11:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
dannyhatch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,591
1983: What Would Stitch Do?

With Ray DeVito and Anthony DeVito

Road rage, pedestrian rage, molly, pot edibles


Share this episode: What Would Stitch Do? (Keith and The Girl) - Comedy Talk Show & Podcast

Subscribe for free: Keith and The Girl podcast on your iPhone, iPad and iPod with iTunes
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2014, 07:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Scumhook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Uranus
Posts: 19,805
Quote:
Originally Posted by J. Canines View Post
Whoever voted yes

We would like to hear that story
I'm one of the 2 (thus far).

These sorts of stories are better told verbally rather than textually, but to summarise:

1) sort of hit a couple of cunts jogging. I pulled out of a driveway, didn't see them and they ran into my front quarter panel, so technically I didn't really hit them; although Mr Cunty did punch my car several times while Mrs Cunty screamed abuse. And no, I am not Ray DeVito.

2) Opened my door into a cyclist. Fortunately for my car, he wasn't going very fast. Fortunately for me, he wasn't very big.

3) Many other vehicle vs vehicle accidents, including one where I was driving a car towing a trailer with another car on it. Wildly misjudged braking distance, slammed both feet on the brake pedal (pre-ABS car, lucky me) locked up all 4 and slid towards the arse of the stopped car ahead of me. At the last minute, rather than go nose first into the car, I flicked the wheel so the passenger door smashed into the stopped car instead. Mate in that seat screamed like a bitch and almost jumped into my lap Pussy.
__________________
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2014, 07:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
bithead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Georgetown, Ontario, CANADA
Posts: 1,328
Like Chemda, I couldn't get over Anthony DeVito's firm position that he not be called a crazy person. That part had me laughing hysterically.
Keith and Scumhook like this.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2014, 08:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Scat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 374
Scumhook, you sound like an absolutely terrible driver.
campy, Scumhook and J. Canines like this.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2014, 12:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
Senior Member
54-hour Marathon 2013 Kickstarter Backer
 
campy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,868
Sounds like you'd fit in nicely here Scum, the rest of Canada drive like old ladies on ativan.

My son tells me to slow down regularly which is a REALLY good habit he has. I like that little voice of reason wafting in from the back "momma, not too fast" .

I recommend that ALL drivers spend time as pedestrians and cyclists. It makes you a much better , more aware, driver. I only got my first car at 37. I've been walking biking and busing a LOT longer then driving
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2014, 12:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
PARTY! SUPER PARTY!
 
Keith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: NYC, baby!
Posts: 12,690
That's right, drivers! Be a pedestrian sometimes too!
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2014, 01:31 PM   #7 (permalink)
Senior Member
47-hour Marathon 2016 Kickstarter Backer57-hour Marathon 2015 Kickstarter Backer38-hour Marathon 2014 Kickstarter Backer54-hour Marathon 2013 Kickstarter Backer
 
ImStillToni's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Bluffton, SC
Posts: 366
A bike messenger hit MY car around 8th Ave, does that count?

Scummy, as soon as I told MrToni "hey my homie hit a few people on bikes" he just started rolling and yelled "that bike messenger yo!" To this day I have never seen both a bike and its rider hit a perfect 180 angle so for a brief second, they were both perpendicular to the car door. It's been at least 12 years but I am sitting here with tears rolling down my eyes.

My husband opened the door and had the door open way before the cyclist rode into it, so that fucker hit me imo. Scummy...did the door really hit the cyclist or did the cyclist ride into the door like a big dummy?
Scumhook likes this.
__________________
Tattoo #146, put some respect on my name!
#FuckToni, Show 1992: Comedy Outlaws
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keith View Post
The thing is, Toni happens to be absolutely batshit.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2014, 06:10 PM   #8 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
Scumhook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Uranus
Posts: 19,805
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scat View Post
Scumhook, you sound like an absolutely terrible driver.
That's probably due to me being one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by campy View Post
I recommend that ALL drivers spend time as pedestrians and cyclists.
Fuck that shit. If you're on the road, you give way to things that are bigger than you. These cuntbags on bikes want the same "rights" as motorists, but then they blaze through red lights when it suits them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImStillToni View Post
A bike messenger hit MY car around 8th Ave, does that count?
It does if you derived enjoyment from seeing the arsehole go head over fucking heels,

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImStillToni View Post
Scummy, as soon as I told MrToni "hey my homie hit a few people on bikes" he just started rolling and yelled "that bike messenger yo!" To this day I have never seen both a bike and its rider hit a perfect 180 angle so for a brief second, they were both perpendicular to the car door.


I've been on the receiving end too. I was riding a barely-registered dirt bike on the road at night, approached an intersection where there was a car in both the left & right lane (2 lane, X intersection). These cars were turning left & right respectively, so Scummy the genius decides to scream through between them.

Trouble was, the car coming the other way couldn't see me, and commences his right turn (equivalent to left turn for yanks etc).

He sees me at the last minute and stops mid-intersection. I see him. I'm fucked. Don't know how fast i'm going because my speedo doesn't work. Slam on the front brake to get the nose down, and i remember jumping just as it hit.

As I flew through the air, I felt myself cartwheeling and thinking, "Well fuck, this is gonna hurt when I land".

I land, hear the crunch as my helmet hits the road, and I tumble for a bit until I come to a stop. Lie there for a second or two, and realise I'm not dead.

Get up, and start walking back to the intersection. Jeans are in tatters with a bit of road rash on the legs, but other than that, Scummy skates again.

One of the witnesses, said "Mate, someone's looking after you". Maybe he was right, cos I'm still here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImStillToni View Post
My husband opened the door and had the door open way before the cyclist rode into it, so that fucker hit me imo. Scummy...did the door really hit the cyclist or did the cyclist ride into the door like a big dummy?
In my case, the two wheeled cunt rode into my door. I opened it without looking, but I still blame him.
flerchin and ImStillToni like this.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2014, 02:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
canuck8122's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
Posts: 108
Fuck that shit. If you're on the road, you give way to things that are bigger than you. These cuntbags on bikes want the same "rights" as motorists, but then they blaze through red lights when it suits them.

Can't say that I agree with everything you say here Scum, but I do like this comment, I ride a motorcycle (started riding last year) and was taught this is called the "right of weight", even though I may be doing the right thing on my bike, doesn't mean that the cement truck that turns in front of me is going to feel it when I plow into the side of it!
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2014, 02:50 PM   #10 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
bithead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Georgetown, Ontario, CANADA
Posts: 1,328
Quote:
Originally Posted by canuck8122 View Post
I ride a motorcycle (started riding last year) and was taught this is called the "right of weight", even though I may be doing the right thing on my bike, doesn't mean that the cement truck that turns in front of me is going to feel it when I plow into the side of it!
As someone who has been driven into by a transport truck (while driving a 1992 Honda Civic), I can attest to the "heavy" vehicle being completely unaware it was dragging my car in it's wheel-well.
(Offline)   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:14 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
Keith and The GirlAd Management plugin by RedTyger