2575: Cheetos, Doritos, Mojitos, Burritos

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

The woman in the case knew the guy according to the paper for a few days before she invited him in ... so what should she have done?

And don't tell me she was in more danger if he slept there than if she just let him visit

Yeah, I'm not commenting on this particular case and, by the end of the show today, the guest and Chemda weren't either. They were speaking more generally. It sounded like the guest was saying what I'm saying: there are clearly a few things you can do to help mitigate risk. Not ELIMINATE risk. Mitigate it. And Chemda's argument seemed to be, "no, there's not," which is crazy to me. Again: what, if anything, will you tell your daughters BEFORE they're assaulted? Anything? Nothing? I really hope it's not nothing.

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

I wasn't sexually assaulted yet ( but hey I'm under 40 there is still time)

I was robbed at gunpoint, in front of my own building which is in a generally safe, well lit, nice residential area.

So what did I do wrong? Dare to walk to my own door by myself around midnight while being female?

Nice straw man. Perhaps there were zero risk-mitigating steps you could have taken. What will you tell your son BEFORE he's robbed? Be aware of things like whether or not he's in a safe, well lit, nice residential area? Or, screw it, because it happened to you there, completely ignore it if you happen to find yourself in a unsafe, poorly lit, crappy area? Are there things you can teach him or no?

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by jbliss

Yeah, I'm not commenting on this particular case and, by the end of the show today, the guest and Chemda weren't either. They were speaking more generally. It sounded like the guest was saying what I'm saying: there are clearly a few things you can do to help mitigate risk. Not ELIMINATE risk. Mitigate it. And Chemda's argument seemed to be, "no, there's not," which is crazy to me. Again: what, if anything, will you tell your daughters BEFORE they're assaulted? Anything? Nothing? I really hope it's not nothing.

I am not sure I want to re-listen because this whole discussion made me mad but I am pretty sure that was not what Chemda was saying.
But you obviously took it in that way so I guess agree to disagree?

[thirteen]

I was with Yamaneika about the midget thing. If you're going to go around talking shit about people with issues, don't be offended if someone brings up your obvious faults.

She's really funny, by the way. Some interesting discussions in this episode.

[Sparrow]

would it help if we narrowed the conversation to rapes occurring outside of those in our trust circles and those people we assume trust in like police and doctors? we're all taught stranger danger as kids; ways to handle interactions around people you don't know. don't get into a car with a stranger even if they say they know mommy and daddy, that kind of thing.

what's the adult equivalent to stranger danger?

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

what's the adult equivalent to stranger danger?

Dan Savage has these on his podcast all the time: meet new guy from dating app at coffee shop at noon, not at his place after a night out drinking.

I'd want my daughter to have a basic self-defense class.

Etc.

Again, none of that has anything to do with blaming victims nor excusing rapists. It's all about mitigating risk. Not teaching these things to our children because "don't blame the victim" is crazy.

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Apia

I was assaulted while I was entering a bus and there was lots of people around me . A man put his hand in my underpants and tried to enter my vagina. I was 12. It was 2 pm.
What could I have done differently? Not going to school?

I'm not sure how I could be clearer: there's nothing you could have done. Because that's true, will you now teach your daughter that there's nothing she can do to mitigate risk?

[Lanfear]

Originally Posted by jbliss

Dan Savage has these on his podcast all the time: meet new guy from dating app at coffee shop at noon, not at his place after a night out drinking.

I'd want my daughter to have a basic self-defense class.

Etc.

Again, none of that has anything to do with blaming victims nor excusing rapists. It's all about mitigating risk. Not teaching these things to our children because "don't blame the victim" is crazy.

Do you really think that not every single woman ever is being told that?
Are we all dumb dumbs that our parents just send out into the world with best wishes because everybody is your friend?

Have you ever had a one night stand? Did you ever go home with a girl you just met? Was there maybe potentially alcohol involved somewhere?

If yes - why? Guys can get raped too you know. Or she was begging to be raped by you and you have terrible taste in women.

[Lanfear]

You keep talking about mitigating risk on the women's side but you haven't talked about teaching you son about consent once.

Check yourself

[memecherry]

You GUUUYSSSS I need this thread to go back to the ONE missed opportunity on this show given the title:

"I Got Beans Greens Potatoes Tomatoes
Lamb Rams Pork Maw
Beans Greens Potatoes Tomatoes
Chicken Turkeys Rabbit"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amONEHAhLHY