2575: Cheetos, Doritos, Mojitos, Burritos

[Keith]

No. Wake up.

[memecherry]

Originally Posted by Keith

No. Wake up.

#StayWoke

[flerchin]

Yamaneika is exceptionally ignorant.

1. M*dget is an offensive slur and Little People and cerebal palsy sufferers should not be in a dating ghetto.

2. Deaf people drive better than hearing people and are not looking for an award for making a living.

3. It apparently needs to keep being said that RAPE IS CAUSED BY RAPISTS.

So she can just go fuck herself.

[flerchin]

Hey Memecherry, thank you for sharing. I'm really sad there are so many monsters out there. It boggles my mind that this is even a discussion.

My daughter is 7 and my son is 4. Not sure how I'll talk to either of them about this.

[The Girl]

Let's talk prevention.

When the story of the woman who got raped got brought up, Yamaneika wasn't surprised because she thought it was because meeting a man on a chat would be one of the things not to do in order to prevent rape.

OK, so no chat rooms.

When I was growing up, it was shameful to meet someone in a bar.

Later, a bar became an upgrade. It became the women who are meeting men online that are going to get raped.

Now, I ask you, please put the list up of things that I and every woman should avoid in order to not get raped. I'm going to guess that all those places got mentioned to me. Pool halls? Check. Clubs? Check. The subway? LOL I live in NY but check. And when I say that, there's a stipulation. Not JUST the subway. The subway late at night. OK. No going home late for women in NYC. OK.

What's my point? We HAVE been warned. But what are you warning us about? That strange men are rapists? Because we've been heavily warned that men are rapist. We are told how to dress, sit, express ourselves, times of days/nights that we should prevent all together, etc.

We are also taught to meet men to marry them.

OK, so one option from the great Dan Savage (male himself but ok) is to meet men you don't know at noon. Great. I met him at noon. He didn't rape me. Can I go to his house now? Or do you want to meet him first? And when I go to his place after meeting him at noon three times and he rapes me, will people be ok with this rape? Was this the preventable rape because I did what was on the list?

Here's my point: We prevent whatever we can. Yes, we are taught how to prevent rape. Look at this thread. We are constantly asked what we are doing to prevent rape. What we're responding with is "hey, we got raped. And it's not how you thought it was and it's not something I could have prevented unless you want me to just not trust all men. But when I hint at that, how do you feel as a dude?

Rapists are good at what they do. They are fathers, uncles, priests, men you meet in an office at noon, people on your route when you commute, etc. And we are told that too. So, where is the list of preventable rape places and people? Is it ok to meet people in a chat room or are they all rapists? We met Danny in the chat, if he raped me, who do we blame?

Where is your list of rape-free places?

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Jo_Culprit

I was a bit confused because at 58.5min into the show because Chemda equates taking precautions and not taking precautions as having equal effect towards mitigating sexual assault because it's unpredictable.

Thank you. This is what I've been reacting to.

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by The Girl

Here's my point: We prevent whatever we can.

This has been my point. On the show, it sounded like you were saying, "we can't prevent anything so why bother trying." SEE Jo_Culprit's post, "I was a bit confused because at 58.5min into the show because Chemda equates taking precautions and not taking precautions as having equal effect towards mitigating sexual assault because it's unpredictable."

[The Girl]

Originally Posted by jbliss

This has been my point. On the show, it sounded like you were saying, "we can't prevent anything so why bother trying." SEE Jo_Culprit's post, "I was a bit confused because at 58.5min into the show because Chemda equates taking precautions and not taking precautions as having equal effect towards mitigating sexual assault because it's unpredictable."

First response to "a woman got raped" was that she could have prevented it. I'm saying that when a woman gets raped, it's because she couldn't prevent it. So, asking how she (and we) can prevent it is damaging because we can't. We get raped. So, I'm asking for the prevention conversation to stop happening as a response to women getting raped. Do you notice that every time a woman gets raped, we talk about how she could have prevented it? The answer is, she couldn't. So, we're asking you not to talk to us like that. We're grown people who take normal precautions in life. You undermine how serious and real this is with all the prevention talk. It's not only poorly timed, it's mistreating us and putting emphasis on what is ACTUALLY preventable which is having a woman feel like no one is on her side after she's been raped.

[jbliss]

"Teaching" risk-mitigation measures *after* a rape is victim-blaming.

That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about teaching risk-mitigation measures before a rape. Either there're things that can be taught or not. Perhaps you misspoke but, on the show, it sounded like you were suggesting there's nothing to be taught. That's what I've been reacting to. Now you write, "We prevent whatever we can," and I agree.

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Apia

When even wearing a burka and never being alone with unknown men prevents a woman from being raped it seems questionable to tell her to prevent it.

So you're in the "there's nothing to be taught about risk-mitigation before an assault happens" camp?