2575: Cheetos, Doritos, Mojitos, Burritos

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by memecherry

What do we tell little boys & girls so they can prevent a family member or a person of power in their life (clergy, teacher,etc) from assaulting them sexually?

the main thing I felt when it happened to ME was shame, like I did something wrong... Any attitudes towards victims we could change that might make room for victims to not feel like they are to blame?

1. There is no such thing as preventing it but we do teach kids about "no-no zones" and "stranger danger". And we also vet day-cares and babysitters to the best of our ability. There is protocol for teachers not to be left alone with a student at all levels from elementary to universities. There are sexual predator registries so families can make informed decisions on where to live.


2. Attitudes towards victims can be changed by mass education on the reality of sexual assault.

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by memecherry

the main thing I felt when it happened to ME was shame, like I did something wrong... Any attitudes towards victims we could change that might make room for victims to not feel like they are to blame?

Ditto. Babysitter for me. I don't have any magic solutions to this problem. Teaching our children, "here's what you can do to mitigate risk and, if it does happen to you, it's not your fault," seems right. And, of course, if it does happen, telling them that it's not their fault seems right.

[memecherry]

A lot of those articles mention schools, strangers, teach girls self defense.

One takes the point to talk to your kids & make them feel safe enough to talk to you... Shame that my mom was a single mother who worked all the time, thus my grandparents & aunt were my babysitters... The side of the family (my father's side, I haven't spoken to any of them in over 10 yrs) that used inappropriate language & touching (my cousin was the most blatant but not the only) all the time & told the little girls in the family to just be quiet.

Hopefully other kids with single parents that don't have a close bond to their kids fare better than I did.

[jbliss]

Yup. Babysitter was present because my Mom was divorced and working full time.

[memecherry]

I am close to my mom now, thankfully, and funny enough because of this thread yesterday was the first time I told her about my cousin... It's been almost 25 yrs since it happened... Shame runs deep when it's so prevalent...

[Mermaid]

I didn't get talked to until after it happened the first time. (I was 4)

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

I didn't get talked to until after it happened the first time. (I was 4)

That's awful. Should parents talk to 3-year-olds about stranger-danger, bathing suit areas, etc? I guess maybe?

[memecherry]

I think if anything this thread shows the importance of being active, present & connected with your kids... EVERY day. Will be interesting to see how this all plays out in the future with the era of iPad babysitting...

[Mermaid]

Originally Posted by jbliss

That's awful. Should parents talk to 3-year-olds about stranger-danger, bathing suit areas, etc? I guess maybe?

I think as soon as the kid can talk and comprehend "no-no zone".

[jbliss]

Originally Posted by Mermaid

I think as soon as the kid can talk and comprehend "no-no zone".

2-ish?