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View Poll Results: Would you rather go to a Silent Smoking Session or a Yelling Coke Party?
Silent Smoking Session 23 63.89%
Yelling Coke Party 13 36.11%
Voters: 36. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-27-2017, 07:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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of /course/ he's using, nobody keeps ornamental meth just around, and you've probably seen him tweak. am i correct in assuming he's under the impression this is kind of it until he passes? i don't know. sounds like something i'd do and want everybody to just shut up about and let me do it. can't speak to the wisdom, but i get it. he's probably very tired otherwise.
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Old 03-27-2017, 08:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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What a tough place to be in. I really feel for you in this position.

Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed with which option to take, I do nothing. My justification is that bad she happens when it wants to. So that mean it will take me a minute to get through some of the pain before I can adjust to taking a definitive step in one direction or another.

I found that al-anon helps. Because it helps me clear the info to see what I can do and what parts are or aren't my responsibility in someone else's addiction.

It's a powerless place to come from. It takes time just to adjust to that notion.

I hope you find patience for yourself through this.

Lots of love.


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Thank you, Chemda. I really appreciate that. ❤❤❤
I've heard of al-anon groups before but for some reason I never considered going to one regarding my dad. Which is ridiculous because he's been an addict my entire life.
Checking out a group makes a lot of sense. I am going to see what is available in my area and give it a shot.
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Old 03-27-2017, 09:02 PM   #13 (permalink)
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of /course/ he's using, nobody keeps ornamental meth just around, and you've probably seen him tweak. am i correct in assuming he's under the impression this is kind of it until he passes? i don't know. sounds like something i'd do and want everybody to just shut up about and let me do it. can't speak to the wisdom, but i get it. he's probably very tired otherwise.
Oh I completely agree with you. I probably am trying to cover for him, but the devil's advocate in my brain tries to say, well, maybe he had that before he was diagnosed. I go through a half sack of weed in about a week, so I find it hard to believe an addict would just hold onto that stuff for a rainy day. Especially if he already feels like shit from the cancer/chemo.

I should clarify that I haven't really seen anyone (in real life) tweak, so as stupid as this sounds, I don't know what to look out for. My fiance is pretty well-versed (as much as you can be without being a tweaker yourself)in the behaviors of a tweaker and he said that he's never seen my dad like that. I do remember when I was a kid that he would pick us up for his weekend and disappear for 3 days in his room, which didn't make sense to me until my sister talked to me about it years later.

Thankfully, his chemo has been working. He had a scan halfway through his treatments and it showed that he is improving.

I completely agree, though. If I was in his shoes and someone tried to tell me to stop doing my drugs, I may tell them to fuck right off. Is this a confrontation that is truly necessary right now? A big part of me says no, but I know that he won't be able to see his grandkids if this isn't addressed.

His words just don't match his actions. He tells anyone within earshot that his kids/grandkids (my sister's kids) are his entire world and that he would do anything for us. But unless he stops doing this shit, my sister won't let him see her kids, which I can understand and respect.
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Old 03-27-2017, 09:41 PM   #14 (permalink)
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dilated pupils are a dead giveaway unless it's a listed side affect from any of his other medications.

can't blame your sister, not one iota; she's 100% right setting that boundary for herself and her children. the closest thing to proving the existence of souls for me was seeing the lack thereof in long time users. i believe his love for y'all and his choice to feel fucked up until he dies aren't mutually exclusive, but it is a sticky wicket he's put you in. feel for you babe, there's not an easy answer here.

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Thankfully, his chemo has been working. He had a scan halfway through his treatments and it showed that he is improving.
if he's not actively shuffling off the mortal coil, maybe it's worth a sit down?
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Old 03-28-2017, 01:32 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Daniel Hartley was aces.

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Old 03-28-2017, 11:35 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Yeah coke party for sure its the one where I think I can't be kicked out of for breaking rules. At a silent pot party I am eventually going to forget rules and awkwardly say so.. Cupboard doors right ? They suck ass.
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