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View Poll Results: Do you attend therapy and/or group meetings?
Yes 14 25.93%
No 40 74.07%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-25-2018, 07:48 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I think being vocal about your own self care and mental health is one of the hardest things a person can do and I love that Andrea Allan is being so open about it all. Honestly I'm kind of going through some of the same kind of revelations in life and hearing Andrea talk about it has made me realize that I need to do some of the same things she's doing like go to therapy and possibly even SLA meetings like she is. I've struggled with self worth, sex and basically don't have the ability to build healthy connections with people and for years it has affected me. I honestly don't have the ability to make friends or have relationships and it has led me down a road where I've hooked up with many people and honestly haven't liked but maybe 2 or 3 of the people. In my head however I feel the need to please these people so they'll accept me and maybe something will build, fact it never does. I constantly feel like I am awkward, inferior and somehow not good enough, so hookups give me a form of temporary self gratification. I honestly knew it wasn't right but I never stopped and tried finding the root of the problem. So hearing her talk about SLA made me realize that its a problem I also have and need to confront. I commend her for being brave enough to talk about it because it isn't easy. I don't even want to admit to myself that I could have a problem more or less to an entire podcasting audience. So Kudos Andrea, love it when she is on KATG and love Hot Mess Comedy Hour.
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Old 07-25-2018, 08:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Old 07-26-2018, 12:15 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Why did Emily rant about Spooky being some wild-child, free-spirit weirdo, just to admit that she just liked hot people. Basically, his personality was completely irrelevant and you wanted to fuck him because he looks hot. Spooky could have had any personality and the undertone of your description is that you want to fuck him. So why even bring up his personality if your motive is objectification?
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Old 07-26-2018, 04:37 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Mad props for opening up like that Andrea, it's tough as heck to let yourself be that vulnerable but it helps others who feel the same way to know they aren't alone, which means you are a literal superhero when you really think about it.
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Old 07-26-2018, 05:06 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Andrea and Emily are both such awesome people! Hot Mess has helped me realise I'm not alone in my messedness (some of which I'm ashamed about, others which I've always foind funny but it's nice knowing I'm not the only one doing it). I'm sure you've helped loads of others too, so you have something to be proud of. Keep doing what you think is best for yourself and ignore other people who don't "get" it. And keep being open about it too ��
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Old 07-26-2018, 08:57 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Steph View Post
People who DON'T go to therapy and support groups are the ones we should be questioning!
Maybe they can't afford it.
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Old 07-26-2018, 09:08 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Or maybe they didnít bother to see if they can go for free cause they donít really want to go.

Or maybe the therapy building burned down. Or maybe theyíre on a work assignment in the Middle East. Or maybe the therapist in their town IS the rapist. Or maybe...
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Old 07-26-2018, 04:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Steph View Post
People who DON'T go to therapy and support groups are the ones we should be questioning! If you are doing these things you are facing your issues head on, turning you pain into possibility, and growing as a person. If you are not then you are not facing your shit. Every human has stuff to work on, that is the human condition. No one has a perfect childhood. You could have the best parents in the world and they will still be raising you from their own limited perspective, which might have truths that are not in line with what is true for the child. We are put on this earth to learn, grow and heal. Every painful thing is just an opportunity to learn what you are supposed to learn. If you are facing the pain then you are nothing but courageous - it's much easier to numb out and not face anything. Our culture offers 10 billion ways to numb out. Shaming anyone for working on themselves is such an obvious defense mechanism that it's almost funny!
I was in a kind of therapy/ coaching after the birth of my second child preventative, because I suffered from PPD after my first child. I suffered from OCD thoughts before, but after having kid 1 it got much worse. I always imagined what terrible thing could happen to my child and couldn’t relax at all. The therapy helped a lot and I had hardly any problems.

Right now I don’t go to any therapy or groups. But if I should need help in the future I would absolutely go. Right now I feel I have all the tools to deal with my life.
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Last edited by Apia; 07-26-2018 at 04:16 PM.
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Old 07-26-2018, 04:13 PM   #19 (permalink)
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This month I had my 2 year anniversary in CoDA! Got another GOLDEN COIN and felt pretty darn good. Our meeting has been steadily getting bigger with more regulars so maybe the word is getting out somehow (maybe via this podcast?!?).

I've been to one ACA meeting I really liked but my work schedule/being fucking exhausted hasn't let me go back to it since. I do plan on going back tho.

I get the fear around becoming "That 12 Step" person, who only talks about recovery and the next meeting (neither Chemda or Andrea are like this at all. btw). I wanted to hang out with some people from my meeting in a regular setting without needing to have gone to a meeting beforehand. Everyone got so anxious and caught up in the details (that is to say they were acting fucking goofy) that we ended up just going to 2 meetings and getting food in one day. I dunno if they're addicted to it but they seemed a bit too desperate for it

hooray for selfhelp
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Old 07-26-2018, 04:23 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Iím pretty sure I was co dependent in my past.
Then I was in a relationship with a sociopath when I was in my 20 ties and he manipulated my very sucefully with my co dependence.

I learned the hard way:
Love isnít the solution to everything. Real love doesnít hurt all the time.
My energy is high, but not endless. If someone is awful to you, you donít have to 100% know why. Just leave. Save yourself. More drama doesnít mean more love.
Who really was the love of your life is determined retrospective.
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