525: Cages and Rats

[armenta]

Originally Posted by HarryMann

This is the Larry King Mugshot WHAT A NERD!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk Yooooooooooooooooooou!
and welcome to the forms.

-Peesch

[Blitzgal]

Originally Posted by HarryMann

This is the Larry King Mugshot WHAT A NERD!!

and to think this guy was married to two playboy bunnies

http://www.mugshots.net/larry_king/index.html

He looks terrified. Scary what thirty years will do to you.

[bithead]

Originally Posted by Ophelia

Does anyone know if KATG withdrawl is an acceptable excuse for going home sick from work?

Please fill out HR Form 24H-WD.

[be leaves]

i'm still kinda in shock over the whole patrick thing


i love him... but i've lost the majority of my respect for him now...

it's not so much that he played nick like a puppet or came up with ways to try to hurt chemda more effeciantly... because all's fair in love and podcasts... it's that he im'd keith directly and lied to him. that's a one-on-one relationship.. that's not on a show.. that's one person to another straight up lying to them.

that's messed up.

good show though, thanks for not bringing me up and referring to me as 'she'

..i was worried.

[Jenna_f]

Concerning Gordon rahmsey being sued, the lawsuit isn't over "hell's kitchen", it's over his new show "kitchen nightmares"

The reason he's being sued for this is that it's making real resteraunts look worse. kitchen nightmares is a show where he comes in and "fixes" troubled resteraunts. So by planting bad meat and delibratly cutting the chair etc, he's making the real manager look inept and all that.
Not to mention scaring away buisness, you don't want to go to the place where you saw them serve raw food to a customer on tv.

[be leaves]

Originally Posted by Patrick

This is horseshit. I've never lied to Keith, or Nick, or anyone in this clusterfuck.

i don't know if you technically lied or not, because i didn't receive the exact text of the IM you sent keith but...

Originally Posted by Patrick

Was it a little sneaky? Yes.

i have no doubt that nick is a douchebag and talks shit about keith and chemda... i didn't buy for a second that he was 'just playing a role' it's the part about you actually handing him lines that he used and then laughing at them as if it was the first time you heard it... and then not telling keith and chemda about that part until nick posted your convo... you should've admitted that you gave him the only two lines he used... and you should've done it a while ago...

[strafer_praha]

Originally Posted by Patrick

If you don't know if I lied, how about not going around saying I lied.

And why should I have told Keith that? How would that do anything? Do you think for one second Nick could last in an argument with Keith for two seconds with his own personality? Get real.

And Keith seems to buy that Nick was just playing a role (because he said "I believe that") which is pretty laughable. I needed Nick to be able to say something that would get Keith to rip him a new asshole. And Keith did, and that call is hilarious. Had Nick just talked, he would have goten all flustered and mumbled like the little bitch that he is.

Regardless, taking this convo and making it look like I was behind everything is bullshit, and anyone with common sense can see that, so I'm not worried about it. If I have shit to say about KATG, I'll say it. I don't need to talk through a muppet.

I guess its the KATG Army vs. the NLO Ants. See that red dot on your forehead Patrick? That's us coming for you and something tells me there's a lot more of us than there are of you bang bang

[SamG]

Keith: More good news is that Patrick, like douchebags Carlos Mencia and Dane Cook, appears to be a joke thief. The following is an excerpt from a story about amateur comedians which was published in the St. Petersburg Times in 2004. The full story is at http://www.sptimes.com/2004/08/13/Fl...gh_track.shtml

Only two budding comedians, Patrick Melton and Brian Davies, showed up. The three spent most of the two-hour session making fun of each other's jokes.

Not too long ago, 24-year-old Melton got called out by the elder Davies for copying his smoothie bar joke. Davies, who is slightly overweight, has a joke that goes something like: So I injured myself at the gym today. I tripped on a towel on my way to the smoothie bar.

Soon, he noticed 6-foot-5, 320-pound Melton telling another version: You ever notice that people at the gym all look like they belong at the gym? The only place I look like I belong is the smoothie bar.

"Dude, you're copying my smoothie bar joke," Davies told Melton one night after a show.

"It's different," Melton said.

"I say lose both of them," Gaud said.

Melton also has a dyslexic Santa joke that conflicts with Gaud's dyslexic Santa joke. Gaud's joke goes: Dyslexia must be tough on kids, especially at Christmas. Every year they get cards that say "Satan is coming to town." Melton's joke: I have a feeling Santa is dyslexic. Last year, I got a stocking full of cola.

But Melton knows to limit his Santa joke to shows when Gaud isn't around. An important rule when you're trying to break into comedy: Never, ever step on the toes of those who can get you gigs.

[strafer_praha]

Originally Posted by Patrick

I won't even get in to that, but the article miquotes and is wrong about just about everything.

I go out of my way to do original material and not step on others material. Anyone who wants real facts instead of just slinging accusations can feel free to talk to me. I realize it's an article, but that doesn't make it true. For instance - I've never once told any Santa or dyslexic joke on stage. She took a side conversation and completely twisted it. I'll also be happy to tell you the too smoothie bar jokes and you can tell me how close they are to one another.

hack, you fat fuck. Squeal piggy!

[SamG]

Yes, I'm sure that this reporter -- who was so low on the totem pole that she was assigned to do a story on the nonexistent comedy circuit in the Tampa Bay area -- felt that she could really enhance her career by slandering you.