83: Shows 3180 - 3184

[Keith]

What's up, shit-birds? Thought you'd have a perfectly timed — served with a side of sass — wrap-up show? Thought you'd move briskly along and not get entangled in the web of fights? Think again. It's Andrea in the driver's seat, and we are driving on the wrong side of the road. Or the right side? What is wrong? What is right? What am I, Myq Kaplan? You'll period on your chair over this one. Chef's kiss!

Guest:
Andrea Allan



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[Mado]

Those tough conversations relating to “but what if your father meant xyz?” or “but that’s your mom…” are so frustrating because those of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse have had those conversations a million times before. We’ve had them frequently with ourselves as well, in order to convince ourselves, face reality, and heal. The nebulous nature of emotional abuse is especially difficult to argue. Most people have experienced it on some level, and it isn’t as clear as stating that a parent beat you. Our society is still learning about the damage, and a lot of people don’t respect or understand it.

My mom has undiagnosed / untreated BPD (not my guess, several professionals have suggested this and she checks every box). Father Malley’s antics sound awfully familiar. As an adult who has largely learned how to work my boundaries with her, one of the only major stresses left is dealing with other people’s reactions to what remains of our relationship.

Regardless of anyone’s feelings about Father Malley “deserving” the NotCat emails, it baffles me that anyone who has heard the saga could argue that his actions aren’t malicious. Perhaps in his own mind, he was “just trying to help” early on, but his intentions were self-serving, controlling, delusional, and inappropriate. Some could argue this as “just creepy.” But this became full-on abuse the moment he brought Keith’s mother into the mix. He deliberately hurt a sweet innocent person in order to weaponize her.

[Lanfear]

Fully agree

It's a hard lesson to learn that abuse can be non-physical and once you are starting to understand that it's even harder to communicate that to others.

My mother has done various mentally abusive things over the years.
The most fun one to tell is that one year she felt that us three kids gave her less valuable gifts for Christmas that year than we gave dad so she sent each of us a letter in the mail with EUR notes and coins of the amounts she thought we spent and claimed she would rather have nothing.
I'm very grateful that I have my sister and brother to talk to as a sanity check.

[Archimedes_Screw]

I voted for sex fluids. I’m betting Dustin shows up. #TeamDustin.