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Daddy Issues Ken and Keith Malley reminisce on Dad

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Old 09-07-2020, 11:39 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreadfire View Post
He deserves to be outed
The problem I see with doing anything overt and public to FM is the effect on Mother Malley (MM). Whatever you do "to" FM would have a temporary impact on him as he would eventually come up with some fiction that explains how it is Keith's issue/fault and not his at all. This is the most basic aspect of a narcissist. The effect would be lasting on MM, unless her current illness helped her forget or move on. I'm guessing that this is what holds Keith back from being more actively exposing FM.

Whatever Keith or his siblings see fit to be done to FM while sidestepping an impact on MM seems of high value IMO.
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Old 09-08-2020, 03:29 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Here it is. The email sent to the family:

ALREADY SENT 9/3/20 - 9:46 PM

You keep lying to Ken? You can't stop.

You have 24 hours to admit your role in all this - as outlined at KATG.com/DAD - or I am sending this link to everyone in the family.


NEW ONE SENT TO DAD AND ALL SIBLINGS 9/4/20 - 9:56 PM

Hello, everyone.

I wouldnít say Iím sending this information about Dad being cruel and manipulative with a heavy heart, because frankly it feels very freeing. And maybe it feels unnecessary like itís not new news, but for me it feels important to write. And maybe itís a long time coming at 46 years old - it feels silly to have these daddy issues - but I finally figured out how cruel heís been as we all were growing up. And yes of course I know he was CCíd along with all of us. Thatís not so that any of you feel YOU need to address anything or put him in his place. And I know Iím not looking for a debate because I know heís completely wrong. It really is for me to feel more free. Iím not trying to be petty or shocking. Itís something that could have helped me personally a lot sooner. Maybe this helps you deal with other weird lies heís been using on you.

The above link has hours of listening, but each link can easily be read in minutes to get the whole story of whatís been going on. And I refuse to subscribe to the idea of me having to keep Dadís tricks a secret because of social norms. Never let someone take advantage of you because of that, ESPECIALLY so-called loved ones.

Besides, after you learn what happened, how is it even possible for me to suck it up and hug him hello at some holiday I feel obliged to go to or to even fake-smile through a superficial phone call? (Itís not a real question of course. I just know that I refuse to do it anymore, and it took me too long to get to this place.)

Again, this is more for me than anything else. It was trauma, and this is freeing.

This narcissist (literally by the horrible clinical definition, I believe) kept lying while I showed him I know everything he did, and it really made me realize how this kind of thing went on all these decades. In fact, I just recently learned the word Ďtriangulate.í

Itís like if you showed someone the text proving they cheated on you and the person denies it as you show them the screenshot. But the proof is RIGHT HERE. ďIt wasnít me.Ē

When you know the truth, youíre allowed to live in it. You donít have to make excuses or shrug it off because you were tricked into thinking you need to be the better person.

This isnít just some old man. His personality is exactly the same as itís been his whole life - as we were little children! - when he kept trying to make us feel that heís going to die any day and when all his stories never quite made sense.

I found this interesting: If Iím behind on work or fucking up on something personally, I usually have a stress dream about it. I still dream about not being prepared for a high school test, for example. Anyway, during all these emails of catfishing Dad to see what he does behind our backs to cause problems so that heís the hero that fixes them, I never had one single dream about being nervous or feeling wrong about it. I did, in fact, have at least one dream where he caught me, but they never came with dream anxiety. Even in the dream I said, ďYes I did that. And?Ē

Again, this is more me talking to myself. But, like I said, maybe it helps someone else also. But thatís not necessarily necessary. Again, I have to purge this, exactly in this forum and manner, for my very liberation and healing.

Iím done making excuses for him to myself, such as finding a kernel of truth and pretending heís just exaggerating. He is a chronic liar. And he manipulated love our whole life. Dad isnít just silly. He is very deliberate and very cruel.

You can talk to me about this privately, altogether, or not at all. But I gotta tell you one more time, thank goodness we had and have each other (Imagine any of us having him as a father and being an only child?!), and I appreciate you all very much.

We always talked, Dad. And we always will. And thatís not because of your good parenting. Itís despite your bad parenting. And we should be proud.


Thanks everyone.

Goodbye Dad.
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Old 09-08-2020, 09:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
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The suspense is killing me!
The Girl, Scorpion and Piscean like this.
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