Any help from an HTML/CSS/JSS genius?

[ThisIsMyUserName]

Wondering if there's a generous soul out there, who is an absolute genius and willing to help me with a website. I've looked through endless tutorials over the past couple years and always end up frustrated with a blank page.

I ended up building my website using only flash animation (which is the only thing that makes sense to me), and the only java code that seemed to have very explicit, accurate instructions, and actually worked.

I know absolutely nothing of programming and only get by with luck and many, many hours of frustrated beating on my keyboard. I've tried some snippets of actionscript, java, jquery, finding something I liked and copying and pasting the source and changing what I needed just to learn, nothing nothing works. I'm sure I'm missing a / or ~ somewhere that's breaking the whole page, which is why I hate programming so much.

Basically, I need someone to talk to one on one. Someone that knows more than where to find glitter graphics for myspace (do people still use that?) Either I understand every little bit of something, or I understand nothing and am completely lost.

Any masochists want to PM me?