Craig's Wacky Molestation Adventure

[craig0r]

So, until lately, living in Toronto has been pretty awesome. Then McNally's apartment burns down around the corner from me, and that sucks. But then we get to the point of this post.

Now, I'm too cheap to pay for a parking permit, so twice a day I have to move my car to avoid tickets. I go out last night to move my car, and a couple of my friends are leaving the neighbour's house. I haven't seen them for a few months, so we stop and have a chat, then I go on my way, unmolested.

I park my car in my overnight spot and start walking back to my place. The youngest son of the family who owns the convenience store next to my place is closing up shop as it's after 11, and I stop to have a brief conversation with him. And yet, he goes about closing up, all without grabbing me inappropriately.

Then it gets interesting. I walk to my front doorway which opens right onto the sidewalk, no porch or anything. There's this crackhead-lookin' woman stumbling around right in the doorway and asks me for a light. I live in Little Portugal, and there are lots of bars around. People stumble around all the time, and sometimes they look like crackheads. So I went about trying to light this woman's cigarette, but she was falling all over herself, so it wasn't easy. If she hadn't been blocking my own doorway, I probably would've just given her my lighter and went on my way, but I didn't want to shove her out of my way. Not yet, anyway.

I finally got the cigarette lit for her, and I hope I've built up enough suspense so far, because once it was lit, she proclaimed "I suck a mean cock!" and grabbed my junk. Tight. I struggled for what seemed like far too long, but was probably no more than one or two seconds, and pried my left nut out of her death grip while she loudly asked me if I wanted my cock sucked. (I didn't.) I forced my way past her and into my front door, and as I was closing the door behind me, she got mad cuz I knocked her cigarette out of her hand. I told her she shouldn't'a done that, and locked the door behind me.

The end...?

[typicallistener]

TLDR

[Grapist]

Why didn't you want her to suck your cock?

[deznice]

Originally Posted by Grapist

Why didn't you want her to suck your cock?

said the grapist

[Preston Buttons]

I don't understand how this makes living in Toronto less awesome.

[arty]

Were you wearing a KATG shirt at the time?

[TheInfamousBiGD]

Bleh a girl that looked like a crackhead to you (I do not know what a Canadian crack head would look like) wanted to suck your dick. You should have let her blown you, give her your lighter as a thank you and went home... Whether you wanted to share the story of you letting a "crackhead" suck your dick is up to you. I think it would have made a less suspencefull but, more interesting story in my opinion.

[picard102]

Originally Posted by craig0r

she loudly asked me if I wanted my cock sucked. (I didn't.)

Half the point of living in Little Portugal is getting your dick sucked by spaced out chicks.

[Tech007]

In CrackSpeak "I suck a mean cock" = "BRUMSKI" You obviously did not say "No Brumski" fast enough.

AND you must have been wearing something overly provocative. Like a katg shirt.

[McNally]

I got molested by a creepy french roommate in his fifties when I lived in Vancouver. I think every life story needs one good molesting. At least your crackhead toddled off -- I was living with my dude. Until the next day when I moved out, I mean.