Does it REALLY get better?

[Rhinano]

Hey, I don't post here often but I thought it would be a good place to ask this question since KATG people are honest

I'm in high school just now, teenage girl, that sort of thing, and I do well in school (as in, I've never failed anything and can focus pretty well). But I'm not exactly well-liked, although obviously I do have friends, most people just see me as the nerdy dyke and really don't give a shit.

Anyway, it seems like most people are horrible and most days are too. I'm hoping to go to university and 'do something' with my life, but everything seems quite stressful and I've got no idea what I want. I'm worried that I'll leave school and find the 'real world' sucks just as much, if not more than, school.

When you talk to some people, they'll say 'High school will be the best days of your life.' Then when you point out that all the teenagers you know hate their lives, people say 'Don't worry, it gets better.'

Does it actually get better, or is that a big fucking lie? Are they giving me false hope? When are people happy? I don't know any adult personally that seems happy with their lives. Does it happen?

It just seems like people who have a lot of good shit in their lives (including myself) are often miserable. Does that mean it doesn't matter what happens to you, is it just a case of if you're happy, you're happy and if you're not, you're not?

So that was a whole lot of blabber, but if you could respond I would appreciate it greatly!

[bofadeeznizzles]

It does get better. High school is typically the best time of your life for some people. For others, they flourish out in the world. You'll have an opportunity to meet a lot more people who like "nerdy dykes" in college and beyond. Generally people think getting out in the real world is less fun than high school because there is a lot more responsibility. They're right in some respects. But to balance that out, you have a lot more freedom to be who you want to be. I guess what I'm saying is that happiness is in your head. So that's where you've got to make it happen. High school, college, or anywhere after don't matter so much as the time and effort you put into yourself. (But college will totally have more nerdy dykes to get along with )

[sex_n_diamonds]

Life gets much much better. I mean, there will always be rough times, but the way people think of you in school now will not continue forever.

And besides, when you get to university, you will realize that dykes like nerdy dykes. Lesbian community loves and embraces the weird, strange, nerdy, the eccentric.

High school is just four years. Suck it up and you'll see how amazing life can be.

[DWarrior]

The people for whom high school was the best time of their life are on Jersey and Geordie Shores.

Other people probably remember a couple of good moments and forget the rest (the "old times are always better" phenomenon, I forget the name). Or they really mean "highschool was simpler," which is kind of true, responsibility-wise, but everyone's brain chemistry is all fucked so it's said to be one of the hardest.

As a recent college grad, I'll say college is definitely more fun than hs, so at least stick around for that. I'm a nerd, but not a dyke.

[Lanfear]

You are only as happy as you make or allow yourself to be.
When you are an adult you have much more opportunity to choose what you want to do, where to live and who to hang out with instead of being stuck in highschool with a bunch of random people that just happen to be in your agegroup and location. So yes it does get better.

[Incognito]

Originally Posted by Lanfear

You are only as happy as you make or allow yourself to be.
When you are an adult you have much more opportunity to choose what you want to do, where to live and who to hang out with instead of being stuck in highschool with a bunch of random people that just happen to be in your agegroup and location. So yes it does get better.

I'd say this pretty much nails it.

In high school, you have some remaining freedom to be a kid and do almost what you want, but, and I know this sounds cynical and bleak, but once you leave, the people you knew or wanted to aspire to be liked by or whatever, it won't matter. Most everyone goes in their separate ways, having different lives. Once you leave high school, it's a big opportunity to hit the reset button in life if you so desire it; you meet entirely new people, have new experiences, you can reinvent yourself, etc. Anything is possible. Don't wait for life to drop things into your lap, because it won't; be proactive and high school will be a foregone thought.

[marina]

Lanfear hit the nail on the head.

Basically if you're a mopey shit in hs, and you don't do anything to change that, you may well end up a mopey shit in real life too. However, in adulthood, there's way more about your life that you can change, and you only have to answer to someone if you want to.

I had friends and stuff in HS, but it was one of the more miserable times of my life because I was trapped there, unable to make major decisions for myself, having to be herded from class to class like cattle.

Now, I have to pay rent, I have the stress of bills, job performance etc. but I wouldn't trade it for the world. There are still times when I'm unhappy with my life, I am a person that suffers from occasional, brief spells of somewhat intense depression. But now I know who I am and I can do what I deem is fit to take care of myself.

[campy]

The day I left high school my life started changing. I took classes I wanted to take so my grades went up, I met my first boyfriend, I worked full time for the first time. Hours after shedding the school I started to feel free and like I could be who I always wanted to be.

It gets exponentially better as the years go by in my experience. Each new event, success, new relationship, broken heart, job, home, you name it, brought me closer to this point which is the happiest I have ever been. High school is a blip on the radar. It feels so real and important when you're there and it is, but that importance quickly fades. In my experience those that have clung to the high school memory as their ideal have floundered in life, live in some world from the past. Listening to the same music, still smoking pot living pay check to pay check...even the same hair styles...it's pathetic.

Just to bring up something you might not have thought about. When I was in high school I went through a crazy stage of hormonal over load. I remember riding that wave and it was NO FUN. I think the only time in your life where you might feel more hormonal is when your pregnant. I'm just saying that some of your feelings could be attributed to that, not everything I know but SOME of it...I was very touchy and moody.

Tough it out Like Diamonds said, it is just the ladder leading up to your jumping off point.

[Rhinano]

Thanks for all the responses! They are really helpful

[Junkenstein]

yeah, what lanfy said. You get more choices, more power, more freedoom.

crappy people and crappy things are still there, some times they're even worse. But you get stronger and you can fight back and build yourself a better life. Eventually you can be very happy.