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Old 06-08-2006, 11:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missfadu
I don't think you should let her date until her 2nd or 3rd year of highschool. Guys only want one thing, I'm sure the guys who want to date her now arnt looking for a meaningful relationship or friendship.
Of course boys want only one thing, and the sooner she figures this out the stronger she will be in life
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Old 06-08-2006, 12:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slugymay
Of course boys want only one thing, and the sooner she figures this out the stronger she will be in life
wow. hope you dont have daughters. how do you suggest she learn this the "hard" way? a little date rape to toughen her up? that ought to teach her. maybe if shed started dating at 8 she would be really, really strong later in life?

she isnt even a teenager yet. its ok to protect her a little while longer. throwing her into this world naive and unprepared will do her no good now or down the road.
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Old 06-08-2006, 12:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm not advocating anything happen to her, I/m saying the more she interacts with boys the sooner she will realize their true intentions.

How did you get that I wanted something horrible to happen to her from what I wrote?
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Old 06-08-2006, 12:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by cogy
wow. hope you dont have daughters. how do you suggest she learn this the "hard" way? a little date rape to toughen her up? that ought to teach her. maybe if shed started dating at 8 she would be really, really strong later in life?
Huh? That's not what he meant.
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Old 06-08-2006, 12:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I got a bit of experience here. I remember the first time my oldest daughter had a boy put his arm around her.. her dad went NUTS. I thought his reaction was funny. She was 12 at the time.

..anyway, I recommend that if 12 year olds want to 'date' that they go with a group of kids. I enouraged my kids to date in groups throughout highschool. They did ok. However, both my daughters are buff studs who'd tear apart any male who would try to mishandle them. I'm so proud of them!
(for the record, the oldest was on high school varsity wrestling team, the other is a polevaulter)

Encourage your daughter to get involved in sports. It will help build her confidence so hopefully she won't think she needs a boyfriend to make her happy.
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Old 06-08-2006, 12:51 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Not envious of your situation. Not only does she want to date, but you have to do "The Talk", if you haven't already. If she's 12, she might have not gotten sex ed from school yet. My father was a bad procrastinator. He didn't do "The Talk" until I was 16, and had 3 years of sex ed under my belt.

If it's just to a movie or mall, you can volunteer to be an escort. Either way, you can give them enough privacy to enjoy their date without leaving them alone enough to get in trouble. Their interests aren't that far advanced, yet (at least hopefully), so it shouldn't go beyond holding hands and an awkward peck, but I still wouldn't trust a 12 year old at a high school party.

Granted, I was totally naive when I was 12, so I don't have personal experience to draw from. Not only that, but it's been 17 years since then. One good piece of news, though. It seems that today, the values a bit more leaning towards abstinence early in adolescence than it was 10 years ago. Teen birth rates are dropping constantly, possibly due to better education geared toward adolescents, and 2004 saw the lowest rates in over 50 years (Both percentage AND overall numbers - Source: http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0193727.html). My high school, who was amongst the first in the state to hold an on-campus day care center recently closed it down due to lack of attendance (10 children vs. 40 children 10 years ago). And this isn't a small school, it's a 2,000 student school.

Now, this may be good news, but remember: You are the parent. Your example DOES influence how she grows up. You will need to have a talk with her before she starts dating. If you're married (Can't make the assumption anymore), your wife can do the talk, as that would be easier, but she does need to know what's out there. You might not need to go into uber-specifics at this age, but even the smallest grain of knowledge prepares her better for what's out there.
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Old 06-08-2006, 12:58 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blue eyes
I got a bit of experience here. I remember the first time my oldest daughter had a boy put his arm around her.. her dad went NUTS. I thought his reaction was funny. She was 12 at the time.

..anyway, I recommend that if 12 year olds want to 'date' that they go with a group of kids. I enouraged my kids to date in groups throughout highschool. They did ok. However, both my daughters are buff studs who'd tear apart any male who would try to mishandle them. I'm so proud of them!
(for the record, the oldest was on high school varsity wrestling team, the other is a polevaulter)

Encourage your daughter to get involved in sports. It will help build her confidence so hopefully she won't think she needs a boyfriend to make her happy.
Huge. I agree all the way here. When I was growing up, my "dates" consisted of attending youth group (church) functions. Youth Group met once a week, and we'd watch movies, have pizza, play sports outside. When you're under 16, you don't have a license, so any time you spend together is good enough. When we attended dances, it was usually in a group. The girls had friends to chat with, and the guys had other guys to avoid the girly talk.

Definitely any kid should get into sports, boy OR girl. My sister was on the JV wrestling team (ten years ago, girls didn't get on varsity, but she was one of the first at our school to get on the team in any way), and learned how to defend herself better than I could ever do. My other sister was never in sports, and ended up getting into drugs and alcohol early. Having a diversion does a great job of keeping your kids out of trouble, throughout life.
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Old 06-08-2006, 01:13 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Keep 'em so busy they dont' have time to get in trouble!
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Old 06-08-2006, 01:21 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey, when I was 16, I had a part time job, a spot on the football team, and still had to do my homework. The only time left for "me", I had to do the dishes, and on weekends, I was so beat, I just lounged around the house.
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Old 06-08-2006, 01:35 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cogy
wow. hope you dont have daughters. how do you suggest she learn this the "hard" way? a little date rape to toughen her up? that ought to teach her. maybe if shed started dating at 8 she would be really, really strong later in life?

she isnt even a teenager yet. its ok to protect her a little while longer. throwing her into this world naive and unprepared will do her no good now or down the road.
You teach her about guys, and nature, and their physiology. And that they are dumb slaves to it. THat she is intelligent and strong, and give her tons of praise so that she doesn't go looking for it from horndog teen boys. And then, you teach her to be brilliantly sarcastic and witty, so she has brilliant put-downs when the guy tries to tell her "Cmon babee, you know you wanna"
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