Help me share with the world, please.

[Sokkratez]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Truly, this is somewhat creepy. Is this guy your best friend? Are you secretly in love? Why are you keeping every correspondence over several years time?

I actually still have my "Welcome to Hotmail" message in my inbox. It's from Dec. 3rd 2001 I don't delete anything unless it's something like a newsletter I'm through with.

[Sparrow]

Do you keep them from everybody or just that one special person with whom you have a hilarious repartee?

[serial_x]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Truly, this is somewhat creepy. Is this guy your best friend? Are you secretly in love? Why are you keeping every correspondence over several years time?

Maybe it's secretly Newsy just using a different name now his gone 2.0.

[Sokkratez]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Do you keep them from everybody or just that one special person with whom you have a hilarious repartee?

Well, everybody.

[J-5]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Do you keep them from everybody or just that one special person with whom you have a hilarious repartee?

I keep only the emails between me and this particular person, due to the fact that he is reliably the one who "gets" my brand of humor. It may be juvenile but it never fails to crack me up. So far only one person has had anything constructive to say and I admit I hadn't considered a blog. As for all who replied and criticized working in an office, please share with me the exciting world that you work in. I'll bet it's a dream come true. I spent my time in the trenches, I have worked in the office of an architectural woodworking company for the last 4 years of my 18 years of working for various places. I have never enjoyed a job so much. Isn't humor still humor regardless of where it comes from. I don't presume to think I am anything like Steve Carell but isn't one of the most popular comedy shows called "The Office".


More examples of hilarity:
So I was sitting here and I am kinda bored. Then I was thinking, hey I should write an email to Robbie telling how I am going to mercilessly throw a verbal beat down on him in a way that would make him cry like a little preschool girl that just got her pigtails pulled by that 1st grade bully. Then I realized that I have no scenario that I can reference where I could .....say stomp his nuts or junk punch him with a rabid cow. I mean these kind of situations come along so rarely. Then I thought well if I can't think of a normal time and place where I can humiliate and possibly neuter him I will have to go to the other extreme.

Hey guess what, later tonight I have a little hook up going down. Yeah I met these three smokin hot lesbian models, They said that they want to come over and model their thong collections for me. I told them that I had a wife but they said they want me all to themselves. Any way I was wondering if I could borrow your love slave bondage kit. Don't worry I will totally wash it in bleach before I used. I know how freaky you and your gay pirate lover Gary get and I don't want any of your mixed berry mangurt on me. You don't think Gary will be upset, do you? I know how he likes to slap you around when he gets to the drinkin. Hey remember that time that you pissed him off and he tied you up for two days and let his sailor buddies have their way with you? wasn't that how you got that stomach condition?

Well, I have rambled on long enough, so your answer better be yes or I am going to have to get a gorilla to swallow a running chainsaw so that he can then clamp your face between his manimal cheeks and give you a gorilla-stink face-lift. And I don't want to have to do that, have you seen the gas prices lately?

[Sparrow]

I think it would be easier and a more constructive use of your time to go ahead and confront your man feelings for this guy instead of brandishing about your tittering emails.

[J-5]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I think it would be easier and a more constructive use of your time to go ahead and confront your man feelings for this guy instead of brandishing about your tittering emails.

Wow, It's like you're inside my head.
You seem like a person that really understands the tortures of struggling secret same sex attractions. Could you be my personal guide through the land of Gay?

Oh please, oh please!

[Grapist]

Does your company know that you are using their bandwidth to express your and your "special friend's" homoerotic banter?

I'd think they would disapprove.

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by J-5

Wow, It's like you're inside my head.
You seem like a person that really understands the tortures of struggling secret same sex attractions. Could you be my personal guide through the land of Gay?

Oh please, oh please!

If you'd like to go there, righty-o!

What you have here sucks balls. There is no reason to broadcast this pathetic display of repressed homosexual foreplay you're trying to convince everybody is incredible banter to anyone. Put these things back into your journal and go back to "being funny" with your office crush.

[J-5]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

If you'd like to go there, righty-o!

What you have here sucks balls. There is no reason to broadcast this pathetic display of repressed homosexual foreplay you're trying to convince everybody is incredible banter to anyone. Put these things back into your journal and go back to "being funny" with your office crush.

I believe you opened this can of worms.
But I must admit that you may be right. There may be no merit in this. The only indication that I have is the fact that when I re-read some of these I nearly suffocate with laughter and others have agreed. While I would like to agree with you based on your vast expertise in “sucking balls” I am not thoroughly convinced.

As far as self-publishing; I am going to let that one marinate, maybe I will hold off for a few days before taking out a second mortgage. I appreciate you not wanting to extinguish my creative flame. Thanks again.

Maybe I need to spell it out for some.
No. I am not gay, nor have I ever been, nor do I have latent homosexual tendencies.
I just think it’s fucking funny.
I already bought my tickets for this train and I plan on riding it to the derailment.

Enough said, here is another gem.

(after loaning the movie Pitch Black to a friend)

ME: Hey are you done with Pitch Black.....or are you still using Vin Diesel for your masturbatory needs?

FRIEND: Ha Ha... I've actually had the game in my car since just a couple days after you lent it to me. So you can just grab it at lunch when you come with us to Carls Jr.!

ME: Uh it's not a game.....so.......yer dumb.
It's a little thing I like to call a movie, or say, a cinematic adventure.
Do you do all your man fantasizing in your car? or have you broadened your horizons and taken it to the streets?
Speaking of lunch? Yes!
Yes, you may return my MOVIE to ME after you go molest Carl's Jr. (I am assuming that is some kid you tricked into your fake ice cream truck/portal of sin)
Have fun ruining some kids life.

(a few days later)

ME: Hey do you have a tire iron in your car?


FRIEND: No, it currently sits under my desk so I can break your knees with it when I see you walking to your car. Why?

ME: Do you have one or not? And can I use it?

FRIEND: Tell me what for first! I don't want to just let you use it if you plan on fulfilling your homosexual fantasies of tire iron sex! Or using it in your bestiality conquests!!

ME: I just want to borrow a lug wrench so that I can bash in your stupid head.
But when you run out there to get it for me why don't you grab my movie too.

FRIEND: Well know that you remind me, I think I'll bash your movie to a pile of microscopic pixy dust and then when I come to lend you my tire iron I'll blow it all in your dumb eyes!! Good luck trying to see where I'm running which plastic pixy shards penetrating your cornea!!!

Ha Ha Ha! Grey Bush!

P.S. On a more serious note. Eric and I are gonna stay late and play some Q3 at 4:30 so that means you have to. Sorry pal, majority rules!