O doctorsleep, where art thou?

[EatTheWeak]

Wow. Just wow. This is what they mean by "gaze ye not into the abyss" I guess.

I'm sorry, sleep - I gotta walk away from this. All your anger and resentment and preemptive jealousy, it's just too much. Unraveling it would take energy and expertise I just don't have. I don't know why I started trying again.

You need to figure out something what you love to do and do that thing to the best of your abilities. Get that activity in motion, get those experiences that fill you with positive energy, do whatever NON-DATING RELATED THING it is that makes you feel like a man, like a champion. Engineer this energy shift within yourself, stop focusing on the negative shit and just see if all this dating stuff doesn't get worlds easier (SPOILER ALERT: it will). If whatever thing you choose to do brings you into contact with lots of new people, your results will be even better.

Continue to wallow, continue to be lonely. It's that simple, honest. Your negativity comes through the internet in a palpable form - it must be suffocating when in your presence. Drain that swamp. That's job one. You love you, then someone else does. That's how it works.

Good luck to you.

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by EatTheWeak

You need to figure out something what you love to do and do that thing to the best of your abilities. Get that activity in motion, get those experiences that fill you with positive energy, do whatever NON-DATING RELATED THING it is that makes you feel like a man, like a champion. Engineer this energy shift within yourself, stop focusing on the negative shit and just see if all this dating stuff doesn't get worlds easier (SPOILER ALERT: it will). If whatever thing you choose to do brings you into contact with lots of new people, your results will be even better.

This is the single most common piece of advice I have been given in my life. and I'm sure that for most people it works. but every time I hear this it makes me FURIOUS.

I DONT HAVE THESE THINGS IN MY LIFE

If I had things in my life that I liked to do, then I would be fucking doing them! If doing the things I like to do would lead me to a girl, THEN I WOULD HAVE FUCKING MET A GIRL BY NOW

every fucking girl I meet is a bisexual, or a lesbian, or already has a boyfriend, in other words (and Ill get some shit for saying this) USELESS too me.

I DONT HAVE ANY INTEREST THAT WILL LEND THEMSELVES TO MEETING WOMEN!

[DWarrior]

Something tells me that last post won't go over well at all with the other forums members.

[lizzy1e]

I think this crappily designed website pretty much covers it all: Be Careful of This Trap of Self Improvement » The Definitive Self Improvement Blog - BrianKim.net

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by DWarrior

Something tells me that last post won't go over well at all with the other forums members.

Yeah, people here might start to not like me.

I'm not saying they are useless people, I'm just saying that every fucking girl I am ever introduced to is a god damn lesbian. I went to a party the other night and sure enough, 6 girls I had never met there, 3 taken, 3 lesbians.

Hell, I thought one girl was actually hitting on me, she sat next to me, we talked a bit (I toked up in the car before hand and had a few drinks so I was calm and easy going about it) She even fucking put her arm around me, she booped my nose. FUCK i seriously thought I was going to make out with this girl...

Turns out, she had a boyfriend WHO WAS SITTING NEXT TO US THE WHOLE TIME

I had asked some of the other girls about why she seemed so affectionate and they told me that she does that all time and it gets her in a lot of trouble because so many guys think she is hitting on them.

I swear to god women are shitty people sometimes.

Originally Posted by lizzy1e

I think this crappily designed website pretty much covers it all: Be Careful of This Trap of Self Improvement » The Definitive Self Improvement Blog - BrianKim.net

Interesting article, but if I listened to what it said i would swing into the "nice guy" zone and have even LESS of a chance to get laid. also, I don't think I'm allowed to do nice things because women are going to think I'm trying to make a move on them (because most of the time I am)

Example, my friends room mate who started dating the 300 lbs drop out piece of shit, He wouldn't drive her to school a few days a week (She doesn't have a car and my friend had been giving her rides) I got embarrassingly drunk one night and told the girl "Now everyone else may think he is the greatest guy in the world and I'm sure he treats you right, but I WOULD DRIVE YOU PLACES"

(Suspiciously after that night he has started to drive her around more)

I would have been glad to offer to pick of some of the rides (mostly because I had nothing better to do and because she was my friend) but they never asked me because they didn't want me to try to make a move (which i wouldn't because i hate this 300lbs shit bag so much that the idea of him being inside her has killed any sexual interest i had in her)

[EatTheWeak]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

I swear to god women are shitty people sometimes.

Well, at least you've worked your way up to perceiving them as people. People that you hate!

Progress! ... kind of.

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by EatTheWeak

Well, at least you've worked your way up to perceiving them as people. People that you hate!

Progress! ... kind of.

Stop doing that.

I don't connect with anyone, male or female, its that human connection that I want so badly when I say "I want a girlfriend"

I wish to be accepted by another human being and I want to actually be allowed to care about someone.

[EatTheWeak]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

I wish to be accepted by another human being and I want to actually be allowed to care about someone.

A worthy goal. Do you understand, however, that you're already "allowed" to care for people but that such caring does not entail doing so in order to get something out of them? Do you also understand how your anger and the speed with which you submerge yourself in it is poisoning everything about your life?

Every comment you post is about something that makes you FUUUURRRRIOUUUSSS and you claim to have no interests. I am skeptical.

Therefore, I place the following challenge before you in the hopes of it leading you to consider what your NON DATING interests actually are or could be. It's a super easy challenge.

All you need to do is list five (5) things that don't make you FFFUUUURRRRIOOOUSSS. Five things that don't make you angry. Five sorts of experiences that don't fill you with rage. Five things that you're not miserable about.

Give it some thought. Just five things. You can do it.

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by EatTheWeak

A worthy goal. Do you understand, however, that you're already "allowed" to care for people but that such caring does not entail doing so in order to get something out of them? Do you also understand how your anger and the speed with which you submerge yourself in it is poisoning everything about your life?

Every comment you post is about something that makes you FUUUURRRRIOUUUSSS and you claim to have no interests. I am skeptical.

Therefore, I place the following challenge before you in the hopes of it leading you to consider what your NON DATING interests actually are or could be. It's a super easy challenge.

All you need to do is list five (5) things that don't make you FFFUUUURRRRIOOOUSSS. Five things that don't make you angry. Five sorts of experiences that don't fill you with rage. Five things that you're not miserable about.

Give it some thought. Just five things. You can do it.

1. Writing- Editing my first book (40,000 words) just started my second

2. Reading- Mostly Sci-fi, I'm working my way though the DUNE series

3. Comics- I don't read a lot, not superhero stuff, mostly independent stuff is my favorite

4. Tabletop games- Magic the gathering and DnD, These along with comics are interests that I'm ashamed of. I love playing it and nerding out but god damn if it doesnt make me feel like a child

5.On the more normal side I like to smoke and drink, but its usually only with my friends and I don't have the ball's to buy stuff to smoke myself. I never find myself in places with available women, I'm much more relaxed when I smoke and wayyyyyy calmed down. (I actually act like a fucking human being, its amazing)

So there, 2 things that are solitary, and 2 things that have NO women involved in it. (any girl that is into nerd stuff is either a lesbian or taken. I have compleatly given up on trying to find a nerdy girl because THEY DONT EXIST and I'm not one of these sad sacs who sees a girl with a DS and jizzes my pants beacuse OMG NERD GIRL!!) I also don't play video games anymore either.

And no, I'm not allowed to care, not as deep as I want. i want to be able to truly LOVE a woman, to give her anything I can, no woman will ever let me do anything for her, no woman ever wants to let me, its not even about sex anymore. I just want to cuddle with a girl. I think of the times when I'm just hanging out with some friends, when everything is nice, and I think "man, if i had my arm around a girl sitting in my lap life would be perfect"

[dEadERest]

Originally Posted by EatTheWeak

I'm sorry, sleep - I gotta walk away from this.

but you didn't

i stand by my prediction that sleepette will be published and become huge, it's dEad's law of irony bitches