O doctorsleep, where art thou?

[EatTheWeak]

I didn't, no. I think I need to take up smoking again or something - my urge to do something unhealthy was apparently too strong to resist today.

[dEadERest]

"My name is EatTheWeak"

"Hi EatTheWeak."

"And I am a sleepadviceaholic."

We're here for you.
But not here. Or any of his other threads.

[Cretaceous Bob]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

This is the single most common piece of advice I have been given in my life. and I'm sure that for most people it works. but every time I hear this it makes me FURIOUS.

Because you and I are the only two who know the truth. You will never get what you want and you will always be miserable. And all these people who give you advice are just rubbing your face in it. Of course that advice won't work for you. Because you're a completely worthless pile of subhuman trash.

[dEadERest]

Originally Posted by Cretaceous Bob

Because you and I are the only two who know the truth.

precious

[Sapgreenpeppers]

There's no telling how far down this goes.
Save yourself eattheweak, save yourself.

[EatTheWeak]

Originally Posted by Sapgreenpeppers

There's no telling how far down this goes.
Save yourself eattheweak, save yourself.

That's just it, isn't it? It's fascinating how toxic he is. Like, how does someone reach such a state? How many things have to go wrong in just the right sequence to give rise to such a rage monster? How many other sleeps are out there, spinning ever tighter in on themselves, rejecting any and all paths out because their misery has proven to be their only reliable companion? It's tragic and strangely compelling. It's like watching a car wreck, except it's a human being.

At times, I can't quite believe he's real - that this whole thing of his has been one long, insanely intricate piece of performance art. There's a part of my brain that just cannot accept that sleep is as sleep has presented himself because I don't want to accept that anyone could be so thoroughly broken. The truth is probably far more chilling - that all of this has been accurate, that he'll never pull out, and that there's thousands of males just as damaged and broken as he sitting in the dark out there, tallying everyone and everything that has wronged them, resenting people for problems they did not cause and cannot solve, deciding which humans are and are not "useful" to them then resenting them for not showing up to be used.

The most frustrating thing, though, has to be seeing how. fucking. easily. he could put himself on the road to manhood. Like, have you ever let someone else use your computer and watched them try and do the simplest thing? And they're clicking all over the place, opening the wrong shit, doing everything but the incredibly easy thing they sat down to do and it's all you can do to not just snatch the mouse away from them and just get it done because you can't stand to watch them flail around and fail over and over at simple shit and the program they need to open is right fucking there, just fucking double click it already!

That's what it feels like reading a sleep thread, especially his comments. To me, his real problem is how few actual problems he has. Most of his misery would blow away like smoke if only he could practice a little discipline and adjust his thinking just a little bit. I've been lonely and angry before too and it ended once I adjusted my thinking just a little bit - I want to believe this can happen for everyone, that the strength to face one's fears and flaws is inborn in all humans if only they would reach for it. But if sleep is as he says he is, then perhaps this is not true.

Sleep reveals to me things about humanity I would rather not believe, that there are people out there who really do have nothing but their hate. I'd like to see him overcome this because I don't want his horrible hopelessness to be a true thing. This is probably why I haven't disengaged all the way - it seems to me that the beginning stages of his redemption would require absolutely zero effort if only he would make a fucking move and take to heart any of the babillion words of wisdom that he has ignored on these forums. Goddamn it, it would be so easy if only he would try.

But he loves his hate more than he can ever love another person. He could begin to unravel this in no more time than it takes to breathe, but never will.

[EatTheWeak]

Originally Posted by Lord of the Cock Rings

Don't forget, he harbors fantasies of abusing dogs as well.

Right! Textbook serial killer shit. Which I would assume he has the potential to be if not for his utter lack of charisma and attractiveness. You gotta wonder: how many murders have manboobs prevented?

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by EatTheWeak

That's just it, isn't it? It's fascinating how toxic he is. Like, how does someone reach such a state? How many things have to go wrong in just the right sequence to give rise to such a rage monster? How many other sleeps are out there, spinning ever tighter in on themselves, rejecting any and all paths out because their misery has proven to be their only reliable companion? It's tragic and strangely compelling. It's like watching a car wreck, except it's a human being.

I'm real, but I'm not as bad as I'm portrayed here I swear, its just a lot of my bad stuff comes though.

I fucking hate being like this, i want to change so badly but every attempt ive made just fails even harder.

Picked on a lot in school, i know so are a lot of people, but basically I was the kid that when put into a group everyone said "aw man, not sleep, this sucks" It got to the point where I would sit in my own desk and not in a group anymore, i did all the group projects alone, whenever we would pair up for an assignment i would count the students and if there was an odd number i would immediately volunteer to work alone.

Being picked on like this in elementary school made me lash out in jr. high, i hated everyone. So when this carried into highschool I hated everyone again and everyone hated me back. I had a few friends but, most of them were just the kids I grew up with in my neighborhood or that i met in boyscouts.

First girl i ever asked out was at a school carnival, i later realized that she was just being nice because she saw me walking around alone and wanted to be nice to me. Now since I am so desperate for human companionship a girl treating me with any kindness or common decency was something new and amazing that i had never felt before, so i asked her out at the end of the day. And then she stood me up.

After that I decided i would really commit to getting a girlfriend, thats when I really started to like THAT girl, I crushed on her so hard for years, YEARS, and when I finally asked her out to prom she actually said yes. I was going to buy her ticket for her but she said that a friend of hers wanted to come and she was going to buy his because he didn't get to go to his prom (because he fucking dropped out btw, yes that same guy who is currently dating this girls roommate he was 21 at the time dating a 16 year old, I bet no one game him a bunch of bullshit about dating younger girls) So i ended up being the 5th wheel and totally devastated. I know this is such a fucking pussy story and I'm a little bitch for it to still bother me, but this cut so fucking deep, that was the first night I realized that there is a good chance I'm probably going to be alone for the rest of my life.

College orientation, it was a shitty school, the first one i went too, but everyone was so nice to me (because they didn't know me) it was the most amazing feeling I ever had, I even spent all night talking to a really cute girl. I applied there and no where else, got in, One of my first classes was with that girl!!! I had some lunch with her and tried to ask her out but she had a boyfriend, I transferred at the end of my second year because the school was so small and i just couldn't find anyone. going to this school was the worst decision of my life

I spent one year in community college, I was massively depressed, the most depressed I had ever been in my life, I barely functioned, couldn't talk to anyone.

This is my 3rd and final year at my new school, I have asked out 3 girls, and 2 said no, and the 3rd one wants to wait until after the semester.

My childhood is officially over, I have wasted my college years, these were supposed to be the best years of my life and EVERYONE fucking lied to me and said that it was going to happen by now. I feel like college has been a waste and I am seriously considering just trying again because I can't stand how fucking useless this whole thing has been

There are people with worse problems then me, there are starving kids in Africa, there are guys who are born without dicks, there are birthmarks that are dark red and cover half of peoples faces.

But I'm not one of them, I am me, I have my problems and I feel like a fucking piece of shit for complaining about them, but there are so many more people who get to be normal and get to have love and are actually allowed to show there true feelings and are accepted.

I see this girl, (the prom date one) who I was In LOVE with, I was CRAZY about her, I was imagining being with her forever. (It was stupid and i'm glad we never dated, I would NEVER want to date her now, she has told me that sometimes when she is single she thinks about offering to take my virginity just so it wont bother me anymore, but I don't want it like that, i want to fucking earn it. It would be like paying for it. if you pay for your first time your going to have to pay everytime, if you get it from pity your first time your going to have to get it from pity every time.)

But this is a girl I have NEVER had a chance with, not even the slightest glimmer of hope to ever be with. here are some of the guys she has dated.

1. 300 lbs slob who dropped out and dated highschool girls in his 20's

2. another fat guy who is just a fucking obnoxious asshole

3. Drug addicted schizophrenic who almost ruined her life by getting her to move away from her family. Seriously, this guy was crazy, even she admits dating him was the biggest mistake of her life, he talked about hearing fucking voices in his head and owning a magic sword and shit

4. This guy she is dating now, he at least has a job and his own place, he is definitely the best guy she has dated so far that I've met, but he is one of these guys who plays video games ALL DAY he is totally unresponsive when me or any of her other friends try to engage him. He doesn't do anything with our group, and she constantly complains about how he never shows her affection or wants to take her out or do anything . She once got drunk and told me she is just with him so she wont have to move back in with her parents.

These guys got to be with her, and I never had a CHANCE with her. And now, that 300lbs dropout loser is dating her room mate who I recently had a little bit of a crush on (it was really because we were hanging out alot together and again because she treated me like a human being, and like an idiot I again thought that meant she liked me)

But these guys get to have these women, and more women. women I couldn't possibly have a chance of ever being with.

and you people wonder why my self-esteem is so fucking low.

These guys get women, there fore they are better then me, most of these guys are garbage, there fore i am worse then garbage

[DWarrior]

[DWarrior]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

My childhood is officially over, I have wasted my college years, these were supposed to be the best years of my life and EVERYONE fucking lied to me and said that it was going to happen by now. I feel like college has been a waste and I am seriously considering just trying again because I can't stand how fucking useless this whole thing has been