O doctorsleep, where art thou?

[dannyhatch]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

Im sorry but I can't vent this stuff anywhere else, I can't talk to my freinds about this. I've already pretty much begged them to set me up and the ones who might actually be able to have done nothing.

I just honestly don't see the point in anything If I'm never going to be in love.

I really REALLY do feel like its going to happen soon, but if it doesn't happen by the time I finish college then that's pretty much it, everyone else will be so much ahead of me I'll never be able to catch up and just be normal.

And im sick of people saying "Oh your young its no big deal" thats the same bullshit everyone told me when I wasn't getting laid in highschool, they said it would happen in college and it hasn't so how the fuck is it going to happen later.

Here's another thing to consider: if you're so sure you're going to kill yourself in the very near future, why bother finishing college? What's that degree going to do if you kill yourself on graduation afternoon? You're so full of it and you're leaving the easiest goddamn clues to pick up on. Come on, man.

[doctorsleep]

I'm sorry! But I can't imagine any kind of happiness with even the hope that SOMEDAY I might find a girl that wouldn't be disgusted at the thought of me loving her.

If it doesn't happen by the end of college then its probably never going to happen, so fuck it.

Seriously, think about all the amazing sex you all have had and tell me what in your life has been anywhere near as amazing as that. And its not even about sex, if I have no sex that means that I don't have a girlfreind, which means I don't have a wife, or a family, or anything else. What is the point of any of this If I can't ever get a girl to love.

At the end of the day the only thing that's important is love. If I can't get it then I don't want to just float around worrying about all the other bullshit if I'm not going to be able to crawl into bed with someone beside me.

[doctorsleep]

Originally Posted by dannyhatch

Here's another thing to consider: if you're so sure you're going to kill yourself in the very near future, why bother finishing college? What's that degree going to do if you kill yourself on graduation afternoon? You're so full of it and you're leaving the easiest goddamn clues to pick up on. Come on, man.

Because the fact that I'm still in college is what gives me hope that it will happen. I feel SOOO CLOSE to it, I really do, like 80% sure I can at least get a date by june. But I have no idea what I'm going to do when I get out of college, and its hard enough to meet people in college how IMPOSSIBLE is it going to be when I'm not here anymore.

[DWarrior]

Yeah, dannyhatch is growing on me too. I am officially revoting on that poll too.

And I think we can have doctorsleep committed.

[Jo_Culprit]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

Because the fact that I'm still in college is what gives me hope that it will happen. I feel SOOO CLOSE to it, I really do, like 80% sure I can at least get a date by june. But I have no idea what I'm going to do when I get out of college, and its hard enough to meet people in college how IMPOSSIBLE is it going to be when I'm not here anymore.

So you said that dark spot remover had been working on the birthmark right?
Thats something, I'm also assuming at this point in time that you're been exercising and no longer look like a fat puddle on a couch, another plus.

You're at college and feel like thats you're best chance to meet someone, so why not take up another degree?

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

What is the point of any of this If I can't ever get a girl to love.

At the end of the day the only thing that's important is love. If I can't get it then I don't want to just float around worrying about all the other bullshit if I'm not going to be able to crawl into bed with someone beside me.

This sounds like some kind of weird brainwashing. The other side of the coin is that you deal with all the bullshit all day and then crawl into bed with someone that wants to throw more bullshit at you because you aren't a character from their romantic novel.

[RoundAbout]

I enjoy reading sleeps threads because they make me feel better about myself.

[dannyhatch]

In all fairness, at least he didn't start this one.

[Zaumaum]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY PROBLEMS

I CREATE FALSE-PROBLEMS TO DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST THEM

I COMPENSATE FOR THEIR FALSEHOOD BY MAKING THEM SEEM FATAL

MY REAL-PROBLEMS ARE NOT FATAL BUT THEY ARE MUCH MORE TERRIFYING

THEY ARE MUCH MORE TERRIFYING BECAUSE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THEM

I NEED COMPETENT SUPPORT AND TREATMENT BECAUSE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY PROBLEMS

IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO GAIN ACCESS TO COMPETENT SUPPORT AND TREATMENT BECAUSE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY PROBLEMS

IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO STOP IMPOSING ULTIMATUMS BECAUSE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY PROBLEMS

IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO ACCEPT THAT I NEED HELP IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND MY PROBLEMS

edit: I need to accept that when I'm able to manage my problems, there will be nothing significant in the way of me loving and being loved.

[doctorsleep]

Im not saying "woe is me what cruel world" I'm saying that I am out of options. Its the only thing I want and if I'm not going to be able to have it there is no reason for me to deal with all the other stuff. Because without it the bad parts of life aren't worth working though, and the good parts of life feel empty and hallow.

I know I have a better life then a lot of people, but I just feel like, you know fuck it. I'm just this empty husk. I don't like feeling like this, and I think im the most depressed right now that I have ever been. It's not because I'm sadder, I've actually been pretty up lately. But it just feels like my last chances are drying up.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, my friends, teachers, counselors, cousins, my fucking father, they ALL said "I know its hard right now, but don't worry you'll find yourself in college and you'll definitely meet a girl there"

Even girls who have shot me down still fucking told me "Don't worry, there is an amazing girl out there waiting for you to find her"

Well, where is she, society fucking lied to me. When I was in highschool I thought getting a car would help me get a girl NO, I thought that a girl agreeing to go to prom with you meant that she wanted to be my girlfriend NO, I thought if I went to college I would meet a girl somewhere along the line NO, I thought if I started drinking and doing all that other stuff I would meet a girl NO

God damn it, You all fucking get it and I don't, this is bullshit!

[BrianAlt]

Originally Posted by doctorsleep

I'm saying that I am out of options.

You're too fucking young to be out of options. I'm twice your age and I have plenty of options.