Sexy Potatoe Needs Advice/Help

[Sexy_Potatoe_with_an_E]

Mkay, I'm in a bit of a bind...my friend was basically abandoned by her family a few months ago, she really has nowhere to go and is staying with me, but she obviously can't stay forever. The real problem is, is that she is only 16 and doesn't have access to most of her documents, she was going to a private school but her parents cut her off so she can't go back to school, she can't change schools because one needs a parent to do so, she has no source of income and no place to stay. The only solution to this problem would be to get emancipated early, the problem is we aren't quite sure how to do so, I live in NYC and if anyone has any suggestions about how to go about doing this or any other alternatives to this issue, I'd be very greatful...the last thing I need is for my bestfriend to become a crackwhore...thanx guys...

[gumby013]

Move to Florida and live above a night club.

Or something better would be to get a family lawyer involved to give the best advice.

[AndyUK]

And then send some glitter to the parents.

[kat666]

i think she should get a job for a bit and learn how to live in the real world... it would be better for her to keep a bit busy. otherwise shes just going to sit at home stressing and you will have a teen basketcase on your hands... I worked at kfc fulltime when i was 16 and it didnt hurt, girls gotta get a grip on the world and fast. then she can think about the school bit. if its obvious her parents arent willing to support her you have to make sure she starts taking care of business herself.

[the big lebowski]

call up child services and ask.

[devilishone]

I'm with tbl, call up child services, not only will your friend be shoved into juve, her parents will be locked up for reckless endangerment and abandoning a child, though the first bit might not happen as you're putting her up right now.

Oh yeah and her parents molested her, don't forget that.

[gumby013]

Originally Posted by the big lebowski

call up child services and ask.

Do not call child services. Your friend will most likely be placed in foster care. Call a family lawer. Many will work pro bono and your friend will have lawer-client privilege. They will also know more about the workings of the family legal system than any social worker.

[spooky]

Originally Posted by Sexy_Potatoe_with_an_E

Okay,here's the problem we have with calling child services, my friend technically left, but her parents have made no effort to find her, in fact she has kept contact with her brother who says that it's best she didn't come home and that her parents are moving away, so that she won't be able to come home if she wants to. Here's more background info, and by the way I'm not condoning my friends actions, but alot of the blame can be put on her parents. This isn't the first time she's left home, the first time she left home she was out for maybe three days, she never had they intent to leave but her parents can be over bearingly abusive to her and she needed to get out of the house. When she gets back she tells her parents she wants to work everything out she wants to make things better, they say okay we'll do whatever it takes, the next day things are like they had always been. She tries to kill herself, her parents put her psychiatric emergency 5 days is standard they left her there for 10 so they had to pay $1,500 per extra day, money they don't have, they send her to puerto rico to live with her aunt, btw she doesn't speak a word of spanish, but they don't want to deal with her, her aunt sends her back because my friend is an athiest and her aunt is a jehovahs witness, she refused to accept the faith so they sent her back. When she gets back her father kicks her ass, I mean punching kicking the whole nine and says "next time you decide to kill yourself let me know and I'll do it for you." I don't see my friend for almost a year because apparently I'm a bad influence, apparently I'm the one who told her to run away...she isn't aloud to leave the house except to go to school...her mom is having an affair concurrently, she and her brother tell her dad he doesn't believe them until he catches her in the act. Things change temporarily, her dad leaves for a while and tells my friend that he will take her with him, that as long as she is honest everything will be okay, report card day comes and she does terrible, he tells her that he doesn't want anything to do with her and that she's going to end up pregnant or dead or on drugs and he wants nothing to do with it. She leaves again and here we are. Updates from her brother reveal that her parents just went on vacation together despite the fact that her mom is still having an affair and they are going to move back in with eachother. I told you all this because I believe you have to prove that you're being physically or verbally abuse, verbal is much harder to prove, and the physical wasn't a constant but it did occur...I don't know if these circumstances will hold in court as an unbearable situation...

you heard all this from her? because thats only one side of the story, and im not convinced shes being anything but a hard headed teenager right now. i get the idea that she believes the parents dont care, but they put her in a super expensive psychiatric place. she was attending a private school. they, it sounds like, wont give her papers up to help her live on her own, most likely because they want her home. they punish her when she fucks up school. her dad apparently kicked her ass after finding out about a suicide attempt, id say thats very likely a defendable action in court, an extreme measure for an extreme situation. so if im not convinced, theres no way in hell the state will be.

verbally abusive? she probably needs to just go home and deal with it for another 18 months or so till shes 18. a single instance of her dad physically hitting her AFTER a suicide attempt wont hold up in court, and judging from her past experience, its unlikely to happen again. verbal abuse, if she feels shes old enough to make it on her own, shes old enough to thicken her own skin up and deal with it. if she cant, shes not ready for life yet, and should call some social service to put her in juvie so she can finish school.

so until you convince me of anything bad, other than her parents not giving her enough attention (sounds like they have other problems to deal with, involving keeping a marriage together, with the affairs, the vacation, whatever), she needs to go home and focus on school. school is the only thing she has to get out of her childhood, unless she wants to have a horrible life ahead of her.

sucky answer, but thats my 2 cents till i hear more.

[Patrice]

Hey doll,

I had friends who went through that kind of drama in High School and you need to get her to The Door tommorrow ( http://www.door.org/ ) They provide legal help for free and access to a ton of other services. It's a non profit that works with but isn't run by child services.

Make sure you call ahead and give them a quick rundown of her situation and they will give you an appointment with a counselor to help sort it all out.

Good Luck and Hope this helps.

patrice.

[Shalomprincess]

I agree with Spooky. However harsh the circumstances, then only thing she can really do is attempt to go back home and complete her high school education. Or go get some, pays worth shit job, to get some experience under her belt. Then at least she can pay your parents some money to stay a little longer at your house. She'll really be screwed when shes a twenty something with no diploma or work experience. Take life into your own hands baby!