Sexy Potatoe Needs Advice/Help

[mali]

My vote is with Partice's advice. If it's crappy at home, and she's at least responsible enough to look for a job, then so be it. Not everyone is mature enough to do emancipation, and not all crappy home situations are just dramatic teenage story telling. look up programs like the one patrice suggested. And also, working at movie theaters ain't so bad. i did it for awhile. it's better than fast food. However, if she can find a good program, and stay in school, and make something decent of herself, its all a bigger Fuck You to the parents. Maybe check out something like Job Corps, they put you up in dorms, while you attend vocational school, and you get an "allowance". i don't know how it works with minors, esp if you become emancipated. But the program is for ages 16-24.

[ooda]

Well, for emancipation you'd be looking at probably a half year from start to finish, and not to mention it won't be the cheapest option. Anyway, to do it, social services will have to get involved so as to provide some greater leverage on your side, so no matter what they'll be there.

My opinion is varied. Personally I think that it would be best for her to contact social services straight out and then get them to sort everything out. If the parents are as bad as they seem, then it shouldn't be a problem to have her taken away.

Another option would be for some significant other not from her family to adopt her. It may seem over the top, though it would be a quick way to fix all the legalities and whatnot.

If you want her to keep living a relatively normal life, then just work out a way to get them to withdraw her from the private school in which she is enrolled. From there just get her to finish off school in a public high school, and emphasise the importance of her being able to go to college. The experience of going away to college is a process that will make her better able to get her head around life. Mind you, she would need to get some sort of low-interest loan or whatnot, and also work, though I'm still of the opinion that the whole thing would be of merit.

When I read back your second post, you do make a point. It is difficult to have a child leave a parent unless there is some sort of proof available. Verbal won't be enough, so the only chance would be to take some photos of any injuries that she receives from her parents. Mind you, I don't suggest that she self-harm, as someone well versed can usually tell the difference quite easily.

And gumby, don't discount social services. If she is in as much harm as she makes it out to be, then there is a dire need to place her in some sort of care. I mean, she only has about a year and a half to go until she is technically an adult anyway, so it's not all that long to be in foster care (and I know, I can't judge if I haven't experienced it myself).

But my major though is that she is making the whole thing out to be bigger than it actually is, and that she is just trying to rebel against the parents. You mentioned that she was in psychiatric care for a while, so who knows, maybe she has a mild case of conduct disorder or whatnot, and the parents are unable to cope? The constant running away from home is a hallmark of the disorder, so I'm more inclined to think that may be the case. And the claim of verbal abuse is common by adolescents in regards to their parents, especially if the child is rebelling. Don't forget good old ADHD which may be something worth considering, though I'm leaning more towards conduct disorder. I mean, the parents did pay a few thousand for the psychiatric care, and for private school, so it's not like they are as bad as they are being made out to be. Especially in regards to private school, you mentioned, when talking about the care she received after the case of para-suicide that she was unable to be kept there for a long period because the family could not afford it. They don't have much money spare, yet they still make sure she can go to private school? Seems like they care for her more than she thinks.

And like I said before, and echoing Spooky's comments, school is a great way to improve one's life. Not just the education, but the whole experience related to moving away to college.

Careful with Job Corp. It's like prison, but with shovels.

[benjita]

Wow, ooda making serious comments. That's spooky!

Seriously, though. Don't forget all stories are two sided, and teenagers aren't always the most neutral parties.

Make sure she finishes school. It's mandatory for doing anything positive with your life.

[rossnicoll]

Originally Posted by benjita

That's spooky!

No its not, its ooda.

[MichaelG]

Is she cute?

[phillyphil]

First things first she needs to get back in what child services will consider a stable environment. Are you a legal adult that can take responsibility for her? If not she needs to petition family court. Foster care is a bitch but it sounds like it would be a better situation than the one that she is currently in. If she is truly in an abusive situation and she is truly indanger and not being a petulant teenager, this is where she needs to go. If her story checks out and she is not just rebelling against strict rules and such foster care for a year and a half won't kill her and at least she will have someone paying her bills. She also needs to get her stuff straight educatonally because if she is going to be gone from home at 18 she is going to need a plan to take care of continuing education, a job and a place to live.

[misypu]

Has she actually contacted the local public high school? I dropped out of a private school and enrolled myself in a public high school without parental permission. Granted this was 16 years ago and in MA.... BUT what I was told by the public school officals at the time was that public eduaction was there for any child in the community and that the public high school does not give a rat's ass what other schools you might be enrolled in. If you showed up on there door step they had to educate you.

[benjita]

Originally Posted by Sexy_Potatoe_with_an_E

It's a bit different in NYC schools, in NY you have to apply to a highschool and get accepted, many having screening processes, there is no zoning in NY anymore...it's alot more difficult now.

The inherint disadvantage of the "school of choice" program.