160: Adam Visits

[ScubaSteve24]

I pretty much hate banks. My bank hit me with 90$ in charges for some bullshit. So I didn't have much cash in my account, like 3 bucks. So I was at work and was thirsty, so I bought a coke. Then I got another one a bit later. So two 95 cent drinks. No big deal right? I look at my bank statement and, holy shit, I'm 90 bucks in the red! So I look to see what happened. Well, the bank charged me 5 bucks for some reason, which put me negitive...and they charged 30 bucks...then for coke 1, 30 bucks...then coke 2, 30 bucks. So for a total of about 7 bucks I owed 90...fucking hell! I went into the bank to argue about it and they basically told me to fuck myself. My contention was that it was their 5 dollar charge was the reason it went negitive. Also, when I set up the account I specifically told them, if the money isn't there...decline the card. They said that isn't set up on my account...so it never got done. I told them right then...if I don't have the money...decline the card. They did it while I was there.
Then about 2 months later...I get hit with another 60 dollars in charges. I look at my statement. My account wasn't negitive, and they charged me 30 for overdrafting (which shouldn't happen anyway)...then that 30 dollars made it further negitive and bang 30 more. Now I'm really pissed and was like, I'm not paying this, my account wasn't negitive to get hit with a charge. After some looking into it. A restraunt double charged me, but one didn't show up cause it was never processed and was in 'hold' so thats why I was charged. Fortunatly, after getting approval from who knows who...I got my money back.

Fucking banks...

[Keith's Dad]

Originally Posted by Mr. Malley, Sr.

Hello Keith, this is your father. I happened upon your latest podcast the other day while doing a Google search for a new kind of yogurt coming out. I have to say, I was very disheartened to hear that you have fallen victim to the vice of masturbation.

Keith, you are a grown man, and you are free to make your own choices in life. Just keep in mind however that the next time you come over to visit, you will have no choice but to dig a great big goddam ditch in the backyard.

By the way, I have been working on a new logo for your show. It's a little less... what's the word... "Jewish" than your current one. Take care son.

Son,

Please don't believe this imposter. Both you and I know that I have many imposters that have been trying to take my place for my wonderful for some time now since I have quit being an "Illusionasts." You see son many people want to have five wonderful children and a great wife. Just the other day in the conference hall, I mean church I was asking some of my followers if they were on drugs after shinning a flashlight in their eyes. Then the devil himself came into my conference hall, but it wasn't really the devil just a jewish person that was lost. Where was I son? Son I am glad that I found this forum and now possibly we can communicate on a more personal level, maybe not so much as father and son, but more as friends. Now get your ass back to Somerset and build a gazebo!

Love,
Your F-A-T-H-E-RRRRR

P.S. Everyting with your mother is alright, and she is getting used to me not having any eyes. Son it hurt me deep down with everyting inside that you did not come for my visit to the hospital.

[Frosty]

Give Adam a regular spot on the show. It was great hearing of the shit that him and Keith did in their past. The only problem I had was deciphering on who was really talking. Adam seems to suffer from the same impediment that Keith does.

I have to say this was the first show of KATG that I really started to laugh out loud during it. I'm glad I waited to listen to it today (Monday).

[aGoddamnFuckinFan]

Back in Arkansas,

I got pulled over for speeding 8 years ago when I was 16. I had to go to court for it, and showed up one wednesday mroning, sittin behind 30 guys in orange jump suits. I'm the foirst guy up.

Luckily the judge was an old friend of my dad's. He started off, joking around "Why don't you play football like your brother," that kinda shit... Then he gets around to askin me why I was pulled over. I said I was speeding a little. He asked "Why did you go and do that?" ..

Now before I tell you what I sad, keep in mind I have a problem with speaking. I tend to say things that are close to what I meant but just far enough off to offend someone.

So I wanted to say to the judge, "I wasn't paying attention," or "I was in a hurry to get to school." But what came out was:

"It kinda became a habit, sir."


Your goddamn fuckin fan,

aGoddamnFuckinFan

[MichaelG]

Originally Posted by aGoddamnFuckinFan

Back in Arkansas,

You could of stopped right there....

[disgruntledIT]

SugarWall sounds like a quality game, I've played a derivation called Meat Vents...you take hamburger meat and put it in all the heating Vents thoughout the house on the day you move out. Great fun for everyone. It helps if you happen to have a case of burgers laying around, I have to admit I wish I would've thought of sugar.

[ivi]

HILLARIOUS!! couldnt stop laughing when keith sang "lick my balls..."

[teerts]

Originally Posted by disgruntledIT

SugarWall sounds like a quality game, I've played a derivation called Meat Vents...you take hamburger meat and put it in all the heating Vents thoughout the house on the day you move out. Great fun for everyone. It helps if you happen to have a case of burgers laying around, I have to admit I wish I would've thought of sugar.

Ever hear of the game "hide the poo" ?
If you're at an unfriendly party, you either hide poop somewhere (like near a
radiator or behind the fridge or something) and then leave (probably with some
beers in your pockets) and on your way out you yell "i hid the poo!" and go...
or dont actually hide it if someone there knows the game and might go
searching for it...

Another classic is the Upper Decker, where you take a dump in someone's
toilet tank, and then see what develops. I have a friend who claims to have
done this at a restaurant he was fired from. But he was fired for drinking a
bottle of jack and throwing the empty in the penny fountain, so it's not
like he did it for justice or anything.

[MichaelG]

Originally Posted by teerts

Ever hear of the game "hide the poo" ?
If you're at an unfriendly party, you either hide poop somewhere (like near a
radiator or behind the fridge or something) and then leave (probably with some
beers in your pockets) and on your way out you yell "i hid the poo!" and go...
or dont actually hide it if someone there knows the game and might go
searching for it...

Another classic is the Upper Decker, where you take a dump in someone's
toilet tank, and then see what develops. I have a friend who claims to have
done this at a restaurant he was fired from. But he was fired for drinking a
bottle of jack and throwing the empty in the penny fountain, so it's not
like he did it for justice or anything.

To quote a great man "Poop Terrorism is Wrong." - Chris Rockwell, the Daily Download podcast

[spooky]

when you poop in the tank portion of the toilet, its called "top loading" and it makes the bathroom smell like crap for a few days, depending on the consistency of your doo.

chad!