228: Crime and Punishment

[MichaelG]

I bought a box of Bricks, after bieng told it was a VCR, With Remote. I never touched it he put the heavey ass box in my trunk.

My only saving grace. I talked him down from $60 to $20. Side note; We were at a gas station.

[mblaze]

You people are so gullible!

Funny clip from today's show:

http://imac.taxrecords.com/katg/Ibelong.mp3

[ozdog]

Originally Posted by BrianA

I have never used lotion.

Cornhusker Lotion is the best.

Better than any lube out there.

[jmcclintick]

I cant believe that people would acctually do stuff like fall for obvious scams. First of all I wouldn't take anyones word for saying a bowl is worth 25k lol that bowl would stay where it was if they told me that lol. But I have to say that i would probably have given the money to the guy that needed "gas". I am just a nice guy i guess. I think when you are in that type of a situation you dont have much time to think about anything other than the 15 minute scenarios every second lol...I had a guy come up to me the other day and ask for some money while i was putting gas in the car. He didn't even show up in a car lol he just walked up and wanted money for some food. This was in the morning on the way to work. I went ahead and gave him the dollar that he requested. He claimed that he had just gotten out of jail and didn't have any money lol. Im like and all you are asking for is a dollar!? I guess that was part of the "scam" idk...

Today's show was so funny. I am here at work and I just couldnt help myself but laugh out loud! especially the part about masterbating with all this different types of shit lol and what cracked me up was the Shampoo!!

[Clocktower]

As a rule I never give anything to bums unless they can entertain me (sing or dance or tell me a joke), because as Dice said, rob somebody, earn your money. One thing I love to do is listen to their pitch and then give them constructive criticism. I judge them based on originality, presentation, emotional content and plausibility, 1-10. This works out well because I apparently attract them.

One of the best:
I was walking into a fast food place and the bum (white guy: surprise!) comes up and gives me the spiel about car out of gas, parked at the <name of real gas station up road> and mistakenly left home without his wallet, etc. His acting was great, perfect mix of earnestness, straightforwardness with a slice of embarassment (most bums forget this, it doesn't occur to them that normal people would feel ashamed to ask strangers for money). As I was tallying up his score I even thought for a second he might be for real, until something jumped out at me, his look.. he was naturally light skinned (blue eyes) but deeply tanned, and it was only the beginning of March. Now, it gets hot in Houston, but you'd have to spend 90% of your time outdoors to have a tan that deep by March, also there were his clothes, relatively clean except that they were generally worn (as in all over, not in spots like at the knees) like he'd been sleeping on concrete. He got pissed as I pointed all this out, looking furtively over at the people who could hear us. Prospective marks ruined.

Bottom line is this: normal people don't ask strangers for money in that situation. They call a friend, AAA, or the free Houston police service that brings people gas and changes flats. If by any chance a normal person were forced to ask for money, they'd be beside themself with shame.

The worst:
Just about to get out of my car and there's this fat bum face staring through my window. I shoot him the "this is a concealed carry state" look which apparently works cause he backs up quick and puts his hands up. As I get out he explains he needs money to buy food for his 'brother' (tall and skinny and looked nothing like him) who is crippled (sitting in a wheelchair nearby). I point out that he's fatter than me, and doesn't look like he's goine hungry a day in his life. He gives up and walks away. I watch him a bit from the window of a store as they approach another mark, this time fatty is in the wheelchair, stretch is walking around fancy free, a miracle. It's not until then I see the back of the wheelchair, with stenciled letters "PROPERTY OF MEMORIAL HERMAN HOSPITAL". Class act, stealing from a charity hospital.

[blue eyes]

Originally Posted by Goatboy

That shit is outright mutilation.

As is male circumcision, but parents keep inflicting it on their little boys

[jmcclintick]

Originally Posted by Clocktower

The worst:
Just about to get out of my car and there's this fat bum face staring through my window. I shoot him the "this is a concealed carry state" look which apparently works cause he backs up quick and puts his hands up. As I get out he explains he needs money to buy food for his 'brother' (tall and skinny and looked nothing like him) who is crippled (sitting in a wheelchair nearby). I point out that he's fatter than me, and doesn't look like he's goine hungry a day in his life. He gives up and walks away. I watch him a bit from the window of a store as they approach another mark, this time fatty is in the wheelchair, stretch is walking around fancy free, a miracle. It's not until then I see the back of the wheelchair, with stenciled letters "PROPERTY OF MEMORIAL HERMAN HOSPITAL". Class act, stealing from a charity hospital.

LOL that is too funny! you would think these people would come up with better scenarios now a days. I think the more you say the less chance you have of getting anyones money lol. make it short and sweet.

[spooky]

Originally Posted by jmcclintick

LOL that is too funny! you would think these people would come up with better scenarios now a days. I think the more you say the less chance you have of getting anyones money lol. make it short and sweet.

im sure if what they did didnt work, they would try something else. they probably make pretty good money at their scheme. i suppose its no different than any other job, cept they cant get fired i guess.....

and all cutting on babies is mutilation in my book. humans got by fine for millions of years without needing primitive plastic surgery, im sure we could go back and be just fine.

[jmcclintick]

Very true, I guess they cant get fired lol.

[phooey]

I was coming out of the movie theater and it was a pretty cold day.. my wife and I were hit up by a family of... uh... black people... the dad, the mom and two kids.. the youngest was a little girl.. maybe around 5 years old. the mom said.. "our car broke down and we need money for cab fair to get back home" I offered... would you like a ride? They said.. "our house is far north" basically saying.. you don't want to go to bad neighborhood like that... and they asked for cab fair or bus fare... I asked if they wanted to use my cell phone and they said that they didn't know anyone in town.. I said.. that's ok and walked away... but when we got back to the car.. we felt the karma guilt kick in.. I mean.. who takes their family to a parking lot to beg for money? then I thought.. what the fuck.. even if it is a scam, they need the money... so we went back and my wife gave the 5 year old 20 bucks.. and told her to give it to her mom and we left. We didn't give them a chance to say thanks.

so, maybe we got scammed.. maybe we didn't.. either way, I hope it helped a little