3492: Open Meeting w/ Beth Lapides

[Apia resurrected]

Originally Posted by Keith

I feel like around how perfect she is, Apia is trying to tell us she killed a person or 3.

Haha.
I think the fact that I’m not an addict is more genetic.
My parents aren’t addicts, they don’t smoke and drink sometimes a glass of wine with dinner on a special occasion. I have never seen anyone of them drunk ever. Also none of my grandparents were alcoholics and this in Poland.
I know neighbors and colleagues were mocking my grandfather a little for drinking maybe one beer or not at all while they were getting hammered with vodka.

And because life is repetition, I married a man who maybe drinks one Glas of wine a month.

[Apia resurrected]

Originally Posted by Paige_H

I wish I had the genetic makeup or whatever combination of circumstances that makes the difference between becoming addicted to substances and not. I’ve always been jealous of people like you who can indulge in moderation and not become addicted. I got hooked on cigarettes about 30 years ago and have been fighting with them ever since. I’ve managed to “quit” a couple times but after about a year or two I go back to it. I’ve quit drinking alcohol, but have to make that decision every time the urge comes on. I like what Beth said being freed from the addiction. Freedom is the goal.


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Once I heard a woman describe it on a podcast how it is for me and it was the only time.
I had some phases in my life when i was out more and drank more and a few weeks into it my body says that’s enough, I get it. It’s boring. I don’t enjoy this feeling anymore and want something else. Imagine if you ate the same dish every day, you will be over it some day.
The reward of using something goes away for me after a few times.
With smoking, I tried it when I was 15, the friend who tried with me got addicted.
I never did.
Once I was in Scotland for 2 weeks with friends and I bought some duty free cigarettes on the way there, smoked maybe 10 a day there.
When I came back home the habit didn’t come with me. A returned home as a non smoker. And it wasn’t because I tried to. I just was over it again.

[nordcharonmir]

Originally Posted by Paige_H

I wish I had the genetic makeup or whatever combination of circumstances that makes the difference between becoming addicted to substances and not. I’ve always been jealous of people like you who can indulge in moderation and not become addicted. I got hooked on cigarettes about 30 years ago and have been fighting with them ever since. I’ve managed to “quit” a couple times but after about a year or two I go back to it. I’ve quit drinking alcohol, but have to make that decision every time the urge comes on. I like what Beth said being freed from the addiction. Freedom is the goal.


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Paige, I think you may find some relief in re-framing your approach. Instead of trying to "quit" cigs and alc you may want to focus on how to have a better life. Who do you want to be? What could your life be like if you cared about yourself, what does that look like in 5 years? Would you recommend to someone you cared about to smoke and binge drink?

Create a picture of a meaningful life for yourself and what failure looks like in your life. Really emphasize the negative outcomes in the mid/long term of these behaviors and decide if avoiding that is worth it to you, it should be if you take any time at all to think through this.

[Paige_H]

Originally Posted by nordcharonmir

it should be if you take any time at all to think through this.

Oh thank you, Nordi! You’re the best. I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!


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[Svage]

Loved Beth on the Show, definitely a Best New Guest Nominee

I liked the tone of her voice. It had a lot of grandma vibes, so that was comforting in a way. Have her back on again soon !!

[Skyler]

This episode was Art. When you can just feel the guest having as good of a time as the audience.

I had to pause from laughing at Chemda's reaction to Keith's death segue.

[nordcharonmir]

Originally Posted by Paige_H

Oh thank you, Nordi! You’re the best. I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!


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You won't be able to with that kinda attitude. Good luck with all that. Don't go to a qualified psychologist to deal with these things cuz they'll tell you the same thing and that could be triggering.

[mxmalloryjane]

I just love when (I think) I can feel everyone falling in love with each other real time... that sensation was palpable in this episode. Hope I'm not projecting. Best new guest right outta the gate.

[shoebootie]

Originally Posted by Apia resurrected

I didn’t know that but I remembered that he was a problematic right wing person. With this I’m like Keith. I don’t forget. You did something really bad? ( rape, hate crimes, regular violent crimes, being a right wing nut job) Apia will remember.

He was fondly remembered by so many as being one of the warmest and most genuinely nice people to work with. And then he's like an anti-mask, trump-accepting nutter. So it's pretty much reminiscent of anyone we have in our lives who are great on the surface till you get to learn "oh no they're an actual moron" and have to just gently step away.

Ah wells.

[starscream]

Originally Posted by Keith

Turns out Mr. Loaf was anti-mask/anti-vax and died of COVID.

It's very weird they didn't report a cause of death originally. Seems like there wasn't any confusion about why he was sick in the first place.

The good news, Keith, is that he hardly wrote any of his songs and didn't write any of his biggest (and I assume best) songs, including "Life Is A Lemon."