Funny Craigs List Post

[lebowski]

To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle

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Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST


I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.

This is where things got crazy.

I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.

I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.

WTF

Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.

Sincerely,
Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.


Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[Aurora]

Originally Posted by lebowski

To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST


I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.

This is where things got crazy.

I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.

I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.

WTF

Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.

Sincerely,
Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.


Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

HAHAHAHAHA!

[Grapist]

Wow, does he really think this will get her attention? If I were this woman and read this I would so think, "weirdo". LOL

[kayepants]

OMG I hearts Missed Connections.

There's a local guy who posts every time he sees a girl in a cast. Weirdo fetish

[JackieO]

Originally Posted by kayepants

OMG I hearts Missed Connections.

There's a local guy who posts every time he sees a girl in a cast. Weirdo fetish

Me too!



That is so weird..

[jesikat]

this one has to be fake..




Pissed off girl that won my <3 - m4w - 41
Date: 2007-12-16, 9:39PM EST


Hi. I was a little bit drunk that one night when I came into the Dunkin Donuts on Woodward in Ferndale and ordered 13 eclaires. You told me I was drunk and asked me politely to leave; I called you fat and then asked you to have sex with me.

You told me "no way in hell" (or something like that, i was fairly inebriated at the time) so i threw up on you, and you threatened to call the police and then I peed my pants.

Anyway my friends dragged me out of there. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out sometime, other than the fat thing I think you were pretty cute but I can't remember (i was pretty drunk). I'm pretty desperate though, and I'm fairly confident you're single too...I mean, come on.


Thanks!

- Joe

[ryanknapper]

I saw the post:

Originally Posted by lebowski

seriously WTF. Running into a forested park

Then I saw the signature on the first reply:

Originally Posted by Aurora

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

I thought that was funny.

[King of Assholes]

This is a classic for KATG listeners

I passed out and puked all over your truck and myself - w4m - 25
Reply to: pers-530765164@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-07, 7:38AM EST


You so gentlemenly somehow got me in your truck after a long night of drinking. (I don't remember). In fact, I have absolutely no recollection of the ride 45 minutes home and away from the starting location. I woke up in your truck and there was a wonderful coating of puke on me from head to toe (literally). WTF happened?!! We were parked 1 block away from my home (you didn't know exactly where I lived) and I had no idea where I was. I was freaking out!! In a hazey memory I open the door and fall to the pavement. I lied there as I just wanted to sleep on that comfy black tar. You got out to help me but I dragged myself back in. Then, ALAS! I recognized my neighbor's house. You pulled in my driveway and I gathered my things and stumbled out. Now, as you can imagine, I wake up full of questions with NO memory to give me answers. Kind sir, what the hell happened that night? I've never had such an incident since I was about 15. In fact, in all of my college years, had nothing happened like this one. The money in my bra was still intact. My pants were still neatly tucked in my brand new boots covered in vomit. My vagina wasn't sore. So then WTF happened?!! That delightful morning I woke up naked on the floor of my bedroom with chunks in my hair and the foul smell simmering. Two weeks have passed. No memories have be recovered. However, thank you for ride home (surely it must have been a crazy one for you?!) and sorry for any chucks I left behind in your truck. Wanna go on a date sometime?

[marina]

Originally Posted by Some Douche

looking for a sugar mama is that you???? (west la)
Reply to: gigs-650951809@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-21, 2:37PM PDT


must be a women 21 thru 30 nice body and shape, and beautiful. looking to spoiled a 22 year guy take him out to dinner, shop and have sex , etc if so send pic to or contact datboyso_sicc@yahoo.com

HAAAHAHAHA!

[iheartnihilism]

I'm bored and drunk so i'm trolling cl for weird stuff and thought i'd revive this thread:

You called me both Harry Potter and gay. - m4w - 26 (Jersey)

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Reply to: pers-929327361@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-22, 1:31AM EST



When I first laid eyes upon you, I saw you giving a random stranger shit about having a bike on the path train. Our eyes met and then you called me Harry Potter. We both boarded the bus bound for Bayonne and you asked me for my monthly pass so your friend wouldn't have to pay. I neglected your offer and you once again called me Harry Potter and also gay. I laughed at your wonderful insult. I also couldn't help but notice that you clearly had herpes on your upper lip. So really the question is...wanna do lunch?