Help me share with the world, please.

[LondonAsh]

If ever there are KaTG forum awards, I'd like to nominate J-5 for the Worst Initial Post on a Thread category

[Rock 'n' Rye]

I'dd vote that guy who made the KATG lol cat's thread (not the good one made by SUBSONIX)

[Badger]

Originally Posted by LondonAsh

If ever there are KaTG forum awards, I'd like to nominate J-5 for the Worst Initial Post on a Thread category

The 2008 Forum Awards: Compete for a Golden Keet or a Chemmy...



Nominations open

[LondonAsh]

Originally Posted by Badger

The 2008 Forum Awards: Compete for a Golden Keet or a Chemmy...



Nominations open

WOW! You sir, are a genius.

[Grapist]

What I find hilarious, is that here, that ^^ isn't considered spam, it's just in the wrong thread. LOL

[tempfoot]

Originally Posted by picard102

I didn't read anything in this thread past work in an office. It helps to have a breif synopsis of your post if you are going to write us a novel.

Here is the synopsis...

Latent Homosexual References: 9
Patently Homosexual References: 12 including;
Variations on 'gay' or 'homosexual': 6
Denials of Homosexuality: 2

Swooning over what to do with 3 years of saved emails from your office husband: PRICELESS

[Mikey]

Originally Posted by J-5

I work in an office and things can get pretty mundane. Fortunately for me there is a friend of mine that works there as well, who also share my somewhat skewed sense of humor. For the last few years I have been saving all the emails that we exchange and often I will resurrect a particularly funny one and forward it to him for LOLs. The thing is when I have also shown these emails to others they have laughed their asses off as well. I want to do something with all of these but am not sure what the best medium/arena would be to get them noticed. One thing to keep in mind is that many of them are centered around playing Quake 3 Arena on the office computers, movie quotes that we like and comedy routines. Hey, I told you work was mundane. They also range from our personal lives and work issues to car problems. So there is a serious side to some of them.

Before I continue, here are some examples:

Employee X wrote: "I can't wait to punch you in the face while your sleeping tonight!"

I wrote: I always enjoy the little sweet sayings that you have for me.
Really, you should send your resume to Hallmark.
What frightens me is that you are thinking of me lying peacefully in my bed.....can you picture it well? Do you often fantasize about me being helpless in a bed? I really am flattered, but my vine doesn't swing that way. I mean look at the name you gave me " Teh Gheyest Boye Eva." it even looks like gay-speak writing.

I really think that I just need to nip this in the bud, before somebody gets hurt.......anally!

J-5


Employee X wrote: I envision me cutting your body up with the broad side of a flat edge shovel. Then setting those body pieces in your family room and testing your neato snow blower on life's real badgers... Body Parts!! Just like I'm going to do to you when I sneak up on your backside and shove my big gun into your face when I grab your neck! Wait, that didn't sound right. When I shoot my plasma bullets all over your face! No, that doesn't work either... How 'bout this... I am going to stick my rocket launcher down your throat and shoot of a bunch of rockets out your butt! Oh god, they all sound gay! D@mnit!


I wrote: First off "MR. PHYSICS" think about that first line! If I am not mistaken the broadside of a shove would be the back or front flat area.....pretty tough to cut something with that....do you cut your steaks with the side of a butter knife. Let's put on our thinking caps here, buddy.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Employee X wrote: So let me give you a little insight to the worst f*cking day of my life! All is well as it is the first day of school, I like all my classes and my teachers are way cool. Well I had planned to go home to eat lunch before I came in to work so I would save money. Well kat's elem. tutor teacher is out sick so she calls and wants to meet for lunch. I'm like "hell ya", now I'm craving a delicious sandwich in my belly. All the while I meant to fill up with gas last night and was running tight this morning so I figured I would make ot to school and then I'd fill up. I thought I was the ultimate genius and figured I would make it to the chevron out by kats. Well I f*ckin ran out of gas on Bangerter and like 4600 south. I tried to coast as far as I could and when I went to pull off the road I didn't make it all the way so now I'm half in the f*ckin highway. I call kat and she so nicely brings me a can of gas (trip 1). Little does she know what lawn mower gas is like so that doesn't work. We get in her car to go get a different can of gas from her house. Its pretty full. We get to my car and I pour about a gallon into my car assuming it will be enough (trip 2). So I nicely put the rest into kats car as she was running low on gas. Well keep in mind two of my tires are in the gutter and the others on the dirt. Kat takes off to meet at subway and my f*uckin car won't start. Its on such a slant the fuel pump is still starved. I call her up and she goes to get the other gas can from her house. 20 minutes later she shows up and the can is d*mn near empty (trip 3). I'm like "sh*t"... and getting pretty frustrated because that sangwich was calling my name and I couldn't get my car to start. So I try to put that little bit of gas in my tank but the nozzle is so retarded I can't tilt the can enough and keep the hose in there to push the little metal flap up. So I'm standing in the middle of the highway watching for cars and all the gas is pouring out into the road. I see that and its all over... I threw the can at the wall and kicked snow and started screaming obscenities. My hopes for that one perfect sangwich were dwindling and my car still won't start. Now I'm pissed. Kat was so nice to come and help me and I was an @sshole. I suck. So we go to the chevron and fill the can up and then stop at smiths to buy a funnel. Well let me just say that smith doesn't have sh*t for funnels. I buy one knowing it won't work. Sure enough it didn't work. I throw it in the road hoping it will be crushed for wasting 2.01 on it. Meanwhile kat is being a sweetie still saying it will be ok and I just act like the shit head I am and am now ruining her day. So I dodge traffic to get some more gas in my car and the f*cker finally starts up. I get in to pull it to the side more so I can put the rest of the gas in. I left the can out and started to pull forward. Meanwhile kat thinks I am just leaving her @ss there so now she is pissed also. I get out to get the can and she says oh, I thought you were just leaving. I say no and she just walks away without saying goodbye and before I could say thank you. Now I feel like a piece of sh*t. And I'm furious at my car. So I'm sitting here at work so mad that I don't even want to be here and hope no one talks to me about my work or I'll snap. This is by far the worst day of my life!!

I wrote: But even still, your buddy J-5 is laughing his a$$ off over here....So you have brought a little sunshine to my day. I have had days like that though.....you just have to laugh. Buy Kat some flowers...screw work..leave when you feel like it. take her to dinner or something just make sure that it is somewhere quiet.

Employee X wrote: Ya dude I have some serious @ss kissing to do! I'm glad I brought a little sunshine to your day. Flowers are in the works and also dinner. Maybe I'll build a firework that blows up and says I'm sorry. I wish I could leave when I felt like it though. I have to stay till 5 tonight because I didn't make it in till 1. That sucks. Anyways, prepare to have your face ripped of and thrown in the road like that poor defenseless funnel.


Thanks for the sodey...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are just the tip of the iceberg, I have nearly 3 years of communications.
Just in case any of you were wondering, my partner in crime is fully on board with bringing these emails to the public. The question is, how? It would be neat to have animations to go with some of them, I even thought that it would be awesome to have the Quake characters act out the murder scenes we have concocted. The simplest would be just to read and record audio of the lines. Please give me your input and suggestions.

Is this worth while?

Thanks in advance,

J-5

[motownguy]

I think it's pretty obivious that those emails are funny to you, and only you.

However, you have also proven that by posting them and asking other's opinions you can get a lot of people hanging around and bantering back and forth.

I say you post them on a blog and get some google ads to surround the response area. Nigerian princes will soon be eating your dust.