1243: All Grown Up

Show Notes

• — 21+: Kyle has been lying to everyone for a year about his age so he can drink at bars
• — The Computer Who Wore No Sleeves: Keith spills soda on his keyboard and is humiliated buying a new one
• — Physically Passive: Indians are a low-talking, creepily-caressing people
• — Dela-WHERE?: Stand-ups at open mics write hacky jokes, can you imagine?
• — Online Dictionary: The Oxford English Dictionary will no longer be available in print form
• — Liars: Anonymity doesn't dissuade people from lying on polls
• — Herpes Balloon: A 4-year-old finds a dirty condom in a hotel room and puts it in his mouth
• — 'Till Death Do Us Part: A hoarder dies underneath all of her junk and her husband doesn't find her corpse for months
• — Whip Cream Titties: Katy Perry's new album will be scented like cotton candy
• — Drive-In Blowjobs: Prostitution is so rampant in Switzerland that people can now get their sex by using a drive-through service
• — I Told You So!: JessNYC has her heart broken and Keith is a world-class giver of advice that no one should ignore for their own sake
• — Batman, Inc.: Bruce Wayne is expanding his empire and hiring multiple caped-crusaders to protect Gotham City. Robin is also Batman somehow.
• — The Emmys: Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Glee and Modern Family are big winners and another award show takes home an award
• — Don't Ask My Little Friend for an Autograph: Al Pacino takes himself too seriously and has to wear platform shoes in his film roles
• — MoMA: Yoko Ono simultaneously disrespects her supporters, fellow musicians and basically everyone in the world with her new music
• — The X-Factor: Contestants are auto-tuned to sound either better or worse. The majority of listeners are disgusted.
• — WWE Raw: Kane and The Undertaker compete to be Satan's favorite son. Meanwhile, The Nexus is ruining everything and pro-wrestling is more complex than chess.
• — NYC Hobos: Chemda gives the fake homeless guy outside Lauren's job the what-for
• — Udder Love: An Indian woman breastfeeds a calf who lost its mother
• — Mayday!: Passengers of a British Airways flight wrongly receive an automated message that they are going to crash, panic ensues
• — Low-Rida: A woman goes to jail for dressing scandalously in court
• — Sexual Favors and Dead Babies: A sexually frustrated listener asks for seduction advice while another is broken up about his sweetheart's abortion
• — Kryptonite: Bike lock makers have to make special locks and chains for New York City cyclists