1286: The Human Centipede

Show Notes

• — No Excuses: Ophira crashes her mom's car and finally has to face the truth
• — 12 Hours: Keith and Chemda work a lot, but can't recall what they actually do
• — Candy: America practically hands out prescription pills
• — Anger Issues: Canada has awesome hot dogs stands and an extremely reasonable population
• — Gynecological Peeka-Boo: You should have to re-visit your therapist to get your prescription renewed
• — Sample Pack: Doctors love handing out drugs so much that they give you samples
• — No Cuddling: An anti-depressant made Ophira into an empty shell of a woman who could feel nothing
• — Manic Depressive: Sometimes I want to be crazy. It's what I know, and it's a huge part of what I am.
• — But I'm Warm: Keith doesn't mind being lied to as long as he gets the desired affect
• — Flying High: Chemda can't handle her weed while performing, and Keith can't handle his cocaine
• — Too Much Concentration: Ophira thought doing cocaine on stage would be awesome. Rest assured, it's not so awesome.
• — My Life, Not Yours: Want to know the real Keith Malley? Read his book (but don't ask him about it)!
• — Pilots and Pirates: Commercial auditions have a lot of awkward questions
• — Street Meat: Everyone has to try a New York hot dog, no matter how gross it may be
• — Mr. Controversial: Keith thinks that Caddyshack 2 is the better of the Caddyshacks, and that Pee-wee Herman is annoying
• — Conspiracy: Randy Quaid is insane and thinks there is an anti-celebrity mafia out to whack stars
• — Tasty: The actors in The Human Centipede had to hang out around each other's asses
• — Eat Out Her Ass: Michael Mattera's girlfriend is the center-piece to The Human Centipede
• — Colossal Fuck Up: The Human Centipede somehow moves really slow. Way to fuck that one up.
• — Artsy Fartsy: Independent movies should cost less to go see
• — TUBB: The dating website for ugly people is pretty content with being ugly
• — Diamond Thrones: The United States wins The Miss World contest, this year's winner being from Kentuchy
• — How Is This Possible?: Will Rokos, the guy that wrote Monster's Ball, got hit in the head by a train in NYC
• — Menace To Society: Ophira has a fear of the gap between the platform and the train. Keith jumped into the tracks once just to see how it is.
• — Racking 'Em Up: Garry Collins leaves the scene of an accident and is then charged with a DUI, his third in 10 years
• — I Think I Love You: David Cassidy gets a DUI, even after multiple attempts to beat the breathalyzer
• — Outlook Transition: Chemda gets her Gmail fixed
• — In Case We Don't Like You: Keith and The Girl are looking for temporary interns to gear up for the release of The Great American Novel