1080: Respect My Privacy

Show Notes

• — Home Economics: I took acting and cooking in high school, my acting is the same as my cooking, but they still put me in movies
• — App Oops: I pressed the Call A Random Guy Named Bill button in our app and a guy named Bill answered the phone
• — Free Wi-Fi: Loaner laptops are available at Time Square, in an hour they will all be stolen
• — Quite The City: I called a man named Bill randomly. Angrily he picked up my friend's call too. Only in New York.
• — Message Received: So I'm writing you a dirty message about sliding my penis inside you... turns out I sent it to Dina
• — MY Eyes Only: 54% of our listeners said they need their privacy. Fuck off, soul-mate!
• — Writing Stand-up: One of these messages was me talking to me: You're drunk, Keith. It's not your fault if this doesn't make sense.
• — Jesse's Special Skills: Baritone Tenor, professional mime, proficient in Spanish, harmonica, impressions, and complete bullshit
• — Get Dina To Come To Sacapuntas: Stage 1 is saying we'll come up with the plan. Stage 2 is the plan itself, but and we've got nothing.
• — Brothel Blues: Girl doesn't know when to draw the line with her addicted boyfriend after he robs her to go to a Brothel. Some people have thicker lines.
• — Slip Of The Tongue: Your husband would rather you were more attractive. Now you get to live with that.
• — The Burning Bed: Her dad shot her mom in the head, shot himself in the head, and set the house on fire. My wife is a fucking mess now, what do I do?
• — Leaving A Legacy: I'm going to have to pay off the debt that my parents had?! Well, I won't.
• — Two Customers: A Chinese man gets a side job as a punching bag for angry women, he should know he can't punch these women back
• — Keeping Up Appearances: A suspicious wife posed as a teenage girl to find out if her husband is a child molester. She found out.
• — McGuitMo: Guantanamo Bay is looking for staffers to work in their prison McDonald's
• — All In Good Fun: A bus driver mows down someone after tweeting how much he hates them, his life, and probably you